Any addicts out there tonight? I am struggling...

[naswm]

...desperate to get drunk, or harm, or take pills, or binge

Am so awake, but need to be asleep

Anyone know what this is like and can talk me out of it?

I've been on MN for 2 hrs distracting myself but it's not taken away the urges

TIA

and alone iyswim.

I keep tyring to go to bed but now dh has gone awol and I am hyper alert again, grrr

Can you say what your Dh's illness is?

Can you not go to bed even though he appears to have gone out?

you need more professional help and by the sounds of it, rehab would be your best bet. it is very common to need more than one visit to rehab. doesn't mean you're a failure. the support following rehab is as important as during.

the feelings you are talking about repressing can't be dealt with until your addictions are under control. otherwise you're just going around in circles.

your DH does sound like he's got alot on his plate but these things are best dealt with head on, illness or not. if he's seriously unwell, you need to be in a stronger position to look after your kids and that's surely the priority here... don't be afraid to be upfront with him about how much you are struggling. you might be surprised by his reaction.

don't go on holiday if you can't cope. it's about time you laid things on the line here... your mental and physical wellbeing is as important as anyone else's and it needs attending to.

just seen this naswm , im sorry you are feeling so down again ,have sent you an offline message.

You know I'm biased ... but it's AA and the people in it (or whatever other solution you find) that's going to replace the drink and help you deal with your frightening feelings. You know it can work because it has before - but only if you keep it one day at a time and try to follow the suggestions. It's effective, but it's not a miracle cure - you can't just sit back and let it happen, you have to keep your side of the bargain too!

Come back soon and let it work for you too.

S

Hi naswm, we used to 'talk' sometimes on the old drinking thread- I used to post under the name teasle.

Its the emotions that get all of us- you're not alone. We all have to learn to live with them- and it IS hard.

I couldn't do it by myself-
However, you know the rest its up to you at the end of the day etc etc.

I know its scary, but in the end, for ME, I had to choose a way , and I know from your posts you get to that point, and I also know from your posts that its scary. Believe me, I've been there. None of us are perfect, we've all got problems mate, and I remember only too well what its like.

I've got loads of shite going on in my life- loads of people have, and they have to cope with it- I can't cope by myself, I needed help to LEArn TO COPE WITH ORDINARY LIFE, AND IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU DO TOO. ooPS CAPS.

Thing is, if nothing changes....then nothing changes, iyswim, and it seems to me its been the same for a long time?

Sorry, not having a go, I remember the acute overwhelming feelings so much too. xx

Sorry, forgot about getting meds to help if you feel that bad? x

I am too embarrassed and tired tonight to read back over my drunken ramblings from last night. Thank you to everyone who spoke to me and has posted with advice or words of encourgemnet and support. Once again I am deeply touched at the compassion of MN.

I have been sober and clean today. I am craving now, but am fighting it. I have had an incredibly busy day, which has been hard work, but also beneficial for me. I am going away on holiday with my family tomorrow, and am filled with dread as well as a tiny amount of excitement, for the prospect of a week away together.

Thank you MN

Nx

Glad you've had your boxing gloves on firmly today, that's really great to hear.

If you read this before you go on your holiday, I wish you a really good one and hopefully it will recharge your batteries and resolve.

Take care and ((((((HUGS))))) for you