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Original poster

Majorly Stressed!

34 replies

MuppetsMuggle · 17/02/2009 09:54

Hi, Just want to get it all out really.

I feel like i've hit rock bottom at the moment. I think all the worry about DD being ill for over 2 months has something to do with it. I'm a full-time student and work part-time, really need the money, as DD nursery fees have gone up again. DD behaviour can be very trying at times, i think shes a tad OCD. where DD has been ill i've missed lectures, some of which i needed to attend to be able to get notes for my assignment. I feel no-one in RL listens to me, i think sometimes i'd get more sense out of a brick wall. I always try and please people and put myself last (iykwim). I never done to well at school, so i put alot of pressure on myself to excell and exceed expectations, even tho i know i'm top of my class and got distinctions in everything so far. I don't need ppl getting on at me for not smiling every second of the day. I just feel i've got the world on top of me. DP is brilliant, there are sometimes when i think he could be a little more sensitive and listen to me, but i know he needs his space and outlet too. we are also putting a new fitted bathroom in so our house is a mess, which i know it will be till finished, which is one thing i wish DP would get on and do, instead of getting home and not doing anything. Its all getting me down, i don't want to feel like this. It doesn't help that i've got a chest infection too.

just needed to get things off my chest sorry its long.

OP posts:
Original poster
MuppetsMuggle · 17/02/2009 10:09

What would you suggest to get the stress levels down??

TIA

OP posts:
Original poster
MuppetsMuggle · 17/02/2009 10:30

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OP posts:
Cranberry · 17/02/2009 10:34

So sorry your feeling this way, I really no how you feel at the moment, I've just posted a similar thread, hopefully we'll get some answers together, Just didn't want you to feel your alone x

Original poster
MuppetsMuggle · 17/02/2009 10:36

Thanks Cranberry, was just about to post on your thread too.

This isn't me, I really don't like feeling this way, and I know my DP and Family don't like seeing it either.

I hope we get some answers too xx

OP posts:
Original poster
MuppetsMuggle · 17/02/2009 11:09

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Original poster
MuppetsMuggle · 17/02/2009 11:29

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upagumtree · 17/02/2009 11:38

Hi MM, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate at the moment...it's no wonder your feeling stressed! But dont be hard on yourself. I know its easy for someone else to say when they aren't in your shoes but honestly things will get better.

Im off work sick at the moment...also with stress due to numerable things outwith my control.So I really do sympathise with you. My DH has been great and always willing to give plenty of hugs when i'm low.

I know you say people in RL are not very understanding but if anyone is able to listen then grab the opportunity to speak whether its a friend, HV, DP...anyone. Sometimes getting it off your chest can be a great help...even if there are no resolutions. And try and make sure that you nd DP have your evenings to yourself to just chill. Get kids to bed, pour a glass of wine, light some nice candles and enjoy some peace of mind. You need to look after yourself too. That is so important.

I know it isnt great advice but I hope you will be able to take something from it. You definately are not on your own here...there are a lot of stressed folk about!

Always here if you need to chat. Take care

Original poster
MuppetsMuggle · 17/02/2009 11:47

Thank UpaGumTree.

I get told i need to look after myself, but once you put everyone first, i've run out of time,money and energy for me.

DP is really good, he runs a bath for me every night (inc candles, my book & glass of wine). and he will occassionally put DD to bed, but i prefer to do that. its just little things i would love him to help out on, its hard as money is soo tight at the moment. I'm looking for a new job as know i'm getting made redundant soon , I guess with everything going on i don't know how to unwind.

thank you for listening. x

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upagumtree · 17/02/2009 12:01

I know what you mean about not having any energy left, using it all up on everyone else and having no time for yourself. But you must make time. I try to walk everyday even if its just for 15mins and it really does work. I was advised to do this by several people and at first I didn't take notice, then it got so bad that I would have done anything. I started walking everyday and honestly it really helped. It doesn't cost anthing ( as I know ur on a tight budget like i am). I know its hard to find time and energy but it is a good coping mechanism.

Good luck with finding a new job too.

Sending you big hugs x

Original poster
MuppetsMuggle · 17/02/2009 12:09

thank you.

DP just rang on his lunch hour to see how I am. Did apologise for offloading to him, as i know he's under the weather with the cold thats going around, and work issues. I'm just off to collect DD, might come back get her bike out and she can cycle round to my nans, i can have a cuppa then.

Thanks

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upagumtree · 17/02/2009 13:27

sounds like a master plan! lol

Hope you feel better soon. But if you need to offload i'm happy to lend a shoulder

Original poster
MuppetsMuggle · 17/02/2009 16:31

thank you.

Bike didn't happen it started to rain, if its not raining in the morning, then she can ride her bike around.

Mum has offered to look after DD tonight, so i can chill out

OP posts:
Original poster
MuppetsMuggle · 17/02/2009 17:20

any other tips, much appreciated.

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Original poster
MuppetsMuggle · 17/02/2009 17:47

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babyinacorner · 17/02/2009 17:48

Hi MM - I think meditation is supposed to help with stress if you fancy giving that a go. It stops your mind whirring around and gives it five minutes to rest. there is a meditation thread in the philosophy/spiritual/religion section (whatever it's called!)

A nice meditation which focuses on your breathing is to lie down, make sure you are warm then you count to one breathing in and then one breathing out (in your head) and then count to 2 breathing in and up to 2 breathing out and so on up to 10 - then do the reverse coming back down to 1.

Another one is to close your eyes, imagine you are in a meadow full of flowers, it's sunny and you can hear the birds singing, just really immerse yourself in the scene and feel like you are there.

hth

Original poster
MuppetsMuggle · 17/02/2009 17:52

thank you baby. Just feels like the world is on top of me, just need to lift some of the weight.

will try that tonight thank you.

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babyinacorner · 17/02/2009 18:03

no problem x The practice of focusing yourself on nothing but your breathing takes the pressure off your mind and just gives it a breather - the more you do it the bigger the benefits - sometimes it's not even immediate and then a few hours later you experience a few minutes where you feel unexpectedly calm - it's really weird but very nice!

Original poster
MuppetsMuggle · 17/02/2009 18:05

Will try and do that everynight. thank you.

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flamingtoaster · 17/02/2009 18:40

Another breathing exercise which makes you feel much calmer is:

Tip of tongue on the ridge behind your top front teeth.
Close Mouth and breathe in through your nose to a count of 4.
Hold breath for a count of 7.
Breathe out through your mouth making a gentle whooshing sound to a count of 8.

Repeat four times.

You can do this as often as you want. Eventually you can do more than four cycles per time - but if you do too many at the beginning you will feel dizzy.

It really does work for panic, anxiety - and exams!

Hope you feel better soon.

Original poster
MuppetsMuggle · 18/02/2009 08:08

thanks FT.

am willing to try anything.

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morningsun · 18/02/2009 19:43

Hi mm only just seen this thread
is the problem that you're feeling all the stresses building up,thats what it sounds like.
i think that can happen when theres a lot of rushing around,and espacially when we are responsible fot the health and welfare of our dcs.
your lo has asthma doesn't she thats quite a worry and its long term too,i know cos my ds has been wheezy off and on since he was a baby.
All i can think of advice wise is to be confident in yourself,that you are confident that if your dd is poorly you look after her well[it certainly sounds like it to me]and share and delegate any chores or jobs you can.
i've done difficult jobs and parenting has definitely been the hardest
You seem a very intelligent and caring mother doing a very good job
you know you weren't all that impressed by your gp~is there a different one you could see?
Happy to lend any support i can or just have a good moan!

Original poster
MuppetsMuggle · 19/02/2009 10:01

Thanks MS

Yeah i do think the main stress has been DD being ill, and with everything else ontop it seems like i've got the weight of the world on my shoulders.

DD still not 100% so that is a worry, DP has now gone down with the tonsilitus thats going around (i've made him go to GP today) what with college, and money getting very tight.

Our GP is generally very good, so not inclined to change. over this period of DD illness i think he knew i was not happy and that he will keep a closer eye from now on.

You might regret saying the above about moaning lol.

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morningsun · 19/02/2009 10:37

yeah i really used to find it stressful when my ds was poorly and having to miss nursery/school and having to ring them etc
But you know if they have a chronic problem like asthma it leads to time off cos the colds are worse,wheeziness and chest infections can occur and it might be good to explain to dds nursery she has asthma and her attendance is down for that reason as well as the usual viruses.
I'm sure this time next year she'll be coping better with viruses and her asthma may be settling or easier to deal with.
Its a palaver tho with the inhalers and things and wondering if they're ok at school etc isn't it i do sympathise
How is your dh?
My ds1 keeps going to his gfs and forgetting his a/bs! He's still a bit off colour too .
How is your dd today?

Original poster
MuppetsMuggle · 19/02/2009 16:22

DP been to docs and picked up chest infection (I told him last week) so been given steriods. DD okay still chesty tho, but taken her inhalers so can't do much else. been for a ride on her bike, my back, hips, feet and head are killing me now lol.

Your DS will learn one day lol.

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EffiePerine · 19/02/2009 16:33

Sorry to hear you're so stressed, not surprising with the amount on your plate! Am v impressed with your success on your course on top of parenting AND work. Maybe you need to remind yourself that you have earned a regular break?