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Has anyone had EMDR - feeling very down

46 replies

Mithered · 20/01/2009 09:21

Name changed as I don't usually post on here but do lurk for advice.
Had depression diagnosed for 8 years and was on Seroxat then. Have had 2 courses of CBT plus some "pyschotherapy" but not sure about the validity of the pyschotherapist as was a work related referral.

DS is 2.5 and DD is 8 months. Was diagnosed with PND after DS but tried to battle it myself with St Johns Wort and exercise. Whilst pregnant with DD midwife referred me to GP who tried to prescribe Fluoxtine but decided not to take whilst I was pregnant.

Once DD was born I was started taking Sertraline and dosage increased to 150g. Still feeling very low and unable to cope.I was assessed by mental health nurse at hospital who suggested change of medication to Venfalaxine which am currently changing to.

As well as this I have started a course of EMDR. I have had 2 sessions and am feeling worse than ever as it is bringing a lot of emotions out and I feel like I am at rock bottom and want to run away and can't cope with anything. Externally I dont show any of this as I bottle it all up and am an expert at putting on a brave face to the outside world.

I don't want to bore you with all the details of family life but wanted some reassurance that someone has had a positive experience with EMDR.

OP posts:
morningsun · 20/01/2009 10:23

is it the eye movement/tapping therapy used for ptstress?
I started to have it but the therapist worked thru his questions which was awful,then we couldn't agree on a negative cognition .
My own experience was negative becos the therapist was very one dimensional and lacked understanding,and kept wanting to tick boxes,while i was feeling pretty bad and didn't want to go over extra things iyswim.
I think with a good therapist it might be worth it,but don't subject yourself to extra distress.
My own feeling would be if you are finding it too much atm,wait till your medication change is established,or tell your therapist you don't want to go over distressing details/memories you can't cope with.
Hope this helpsxx

ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 20/01/2009 10:31

I am having EMDR at the moment - well the start of it. I have been seeing my therapist since november and we haven't started the big stuff yet.
She wants to build my confidence and get me stable first. In conjunction with my GP who has put me on Citalopram for anxiety.
I am seeing her for PTSD and she has told me that I do not need to say ANYTHING out loud once we start the EMDR - it will be about me remembering and her helping me to remember in a safe and controlled environment rather than us talking through what happened.

I am having a very positive experience with her so far but am aware that we haven't started the big stuff yet.
Mithered - if you aren't comfortable with the way things are going then I would really try to tell her - if necesary write it down or talk to your GP and see if they can help.

Keep talking -

Mithered · 20/01/2009 10:59

Thanks for the replies. I can't tell you how much it means that other people have had this form of therapy even if it hasn't worked. Yes it is the eye movement one but my therapist uses headphones and alternating noise in ears to create same effect.

She isn't pushing me too hard but I am finding it really tough. She has given me a relaxation CD to play every day in between sessions so that I have got some coping techniques.

Unfortunately my GP has no knowledge of EMDR as the referral was done through my occupational health department at work. My therapist has said that EMDR works very quickly as you are getting to the root of the problem rather than dealing with the consequences. I just don't know if I am strong enough for this at the moment. However my fear is that if I don't do this a) am a failure and b) where do I go from here?

OP posts:
morningsun · 20/01/2009 11:20

mithered[good name!]can you communicate to your therapist what is increasing your anxiety levels,is it going to the appt,talking about the past/trauma,or the time between n appts [or all of them obviously]
I had ptsd and anxiety/depression too and was so bottled up,either couldn't speak,or couldn't stop talking!but when i started to talk,also couldn't stop crying.My therapist was a young man with not much insight and i basically didn't believe in him enough.
Feel confident that other people have been thru this,and your opinion is valid and ask your therapist how to progress for the best if you are finding it tough.
sending you hugs and strength

TotalChaos · 20/01/2009 11:25

I've had one session of it, and found it helpful (used tapping therapy!). But - I didn't have PTSD, I had OCD/anxiety and hadn't been through any big traumas, just a series of small but hurtful incidents. Talk to your therapist about how you feel it has made you feel worse. And if EMDR isn't for you - it's not you that's the failure - it's the treatment not being right for you. I am not very familiar with other psychological treatments for PTSD, but EMDR is not the only treatment, there will be other things the therapist can do.

BTW is the therapist a clinical psychologist?

morningsun · 20/01/2009 11:43

btw,sorry ,have you been referred to the comm mental health team or is it private therapy?

Mithered · 20/01/2009 11:58

I am not sure that I have PTSD - linked to being sent away from home when I was 7 as Mum had PND after birth of youngest sis. A lot of subsequent events which sound more like you describe TC.

My therapist is an older lady who is very kind and reassuring. I do have faith in her. She is a clinical pyschologist btw. It was a private referral via work

I have had CBT before and on being assessed by community mental health nurse she agreed that it probably wont work for me as I over analyse everything. I understand the principle behind it and have read numerous books on the subject but can't get it into my head.

That's why I feel like this is my last chance. My childhood was taken away from me and I don't want the same to happen to my children. I do feel they would be better off without me sometimes.

OP posts:
morningsun · 20/01/2009 12:05

your therapist sounds good and i think it can be effective for several smaller traumas as well rather than one alone.The good thing about it is you don't talk during the actual rx much so could you chat to her and see if adjustments could be made?I know i would have found it easier to go more often and get thru it more quickly.

georgiemum · 20/01/2009 12:16

EMDR is sometimes used by the army for post traumatic stress disorder. It can also be used for other trauma and stress. You generally work on one memory at a time.

It works by helping the brain process painful memories and thoughts and alowing you to deal with/remember the events without the negative emotions associated with them.

You will have had massive ego boosting and relaxation sessione beforehand as it will throw up memories and emotions that you will be trying to ignore. It can take a while, it just depends on you and how slowly you want to take it. Sometimes it can work in one session, sometimes it can take up to six.

Good luck - keep faith in the therapist - this therapy has good results.

ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 20/01/2009 13:17

that is interesting to read georgiemum - The lady I am seeing has said that she feels that we will still be working together in the summer what does that mean?
I do seem to have a bundle of incidents to deal with so is it that she is going to have to deal with one of them at a time?

morningsun · 20/01/2009 13:22

ByThePower~is that nhs rx?Mine was 6 to 8 sessions and not very good i wonder if it would be worth trying again

ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 20/01/2009 13:24

not sure what rx means but yes it is through the NHS - I see the lady at her private practice but it is paid for by the NHS - When the Psych department referred me they authorised treatment for up to a year to be reviewed at the end of that time. I had to wait a while to get it but I hope it is going to have been worth it.

morningsun · 20/01/2009 13:29

thats really good.My referral was thru the cmht and i was sent straight to counselling for trauma/emdr,but the therapist was not a clin.psychologist and not very skilled.

georgiemum · 20/01/2009 13:43

She will probably deal with one at a time - it is that specific and it can take time - everyone goes at their own pace. I am assuming that she is doing other things to help you cope better and get back on track.

Sometimes there is a bad fit between practitioner and client, and that is no fault of either. You need a good rapport and if that is just not there, it can cause an obstacle in treatment.

morningsun · 20/01/2009 14:13

i would say ideally practitioners would be kind,empathetic,professional,intelligent,had their own plethora of life experiences,articulate,knowledgable in their field,nice,not self important and non judgemental..
not much to ask surely?!

morningsun · 20/01/2009 14:18

forgot skilled ,insightful calm and pleasant

Mithered · 20/01/2009 18:53

Hi had a nightmare day with DD who is teething. Feel like the slightest little thing sets me off. Thanks for the info georgiemum. I have to say that I only had one relaxation/hypnosis session before I started but was given a CD to listen to 2-3 times a day. I have only been managing it once but do it before bed so have been having a bit more sleep.

Another side effect is that I feel very drowsy and want to sleep all the time (which I obviously can't do with 2 DC) Has anyone experienced this? I don't know if this is related to the relaxation techniques.

OP posts:
Jacksmama · 20/01/2009 19:08

I've had both EMDR and OEI (One-Eye Integration) and found them brilliant. They really saved me after DS's birth - post-trauma, anxiety, etc etc. One thing I found a bit disconcerting is when a memory would come out of nowhere and sort of "ambush" me, all these emotions came up and it was quite horrifying and stressful at the moment, but I worked through each episode with my therapist and felt much better after.

I was always really tired after each session, too.
GOOD LUCK and a (((mental health HUG)))

georgiemum · 21/01/2009 10:06

Generally when you have had hypnosis you sleep very well that night.

Sometimes feeling drowsy/sleepy is the brains way of processing information. I feel like could sleep for england when I am stressed - of course, when you are stressed and depressed sleep is the last thing you can do!

Mithered · 21/01/2009 14:23

Jacksmama that sounds very positive. I know what you mean about the memory "ambushing" you from nowhere. However these memories are coming in between EMDR sessions. Is that normal?

I feel like I am not getting support from DH but then I don't tell him enough about how I feel. I know I can't expect him to guess but he isn't the most empathetic person. He wants to help but in a practical IYKWIM. Emotionally I don't feel I can explain it to him although I have tried.

I had an episode the other night where a memory came out of nowhere and I started crying and was inconsolable whilst sat with him. I tried to explain it to him so he understood a little more but generally he leaves me to get on with it.

Are there any support networks/websites that I could direct him to? I did give him the PND booklet for new fathers which he eventually read when DD was about 5 months old. He found it quite useful and it did explain some behaviours for him ie lack of sex!

OP posts:
ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 21/01/2009 14:30

Mithered I know what you mean about not being able to share with DH- infact I was talking about this in my session this morning.

I am finding it difficult to share with anyone as I am so consumed by my own feelings that when I share and other peoples opinions and emotions come into it I am frusrtated that they have not reacted how I wanted (even though I cant tell you quite what I did want)

DH is onto a looser - he knows with me that if he says anything it will be the wrong thing and if he says nothing I will assume he is disgusted by the things that I am saying.

Sorry I didn't mean to make this about me - I just think I know what you mean. And as for sex - well he is having to be very patient.

Mithered · 21/01/2009 14:38

I am so glad it is not just me and you have described me to a T. Because DH doesn't react how I want him to (more empathetically rather than practically) I don't tell him anything. This in turn is part of the whole issue of me bottling things up and then becoming more unhappy when he doesn't turn on his ESP and mind reading.

However he can be very patronising too which resulted in me sulking as he was shouting at me when we were trying to sort out a new mortgage Instead of trying to discuss issues I retreat.

I feel I am becoming more and more isolated and have to force myself to see friends although I don't want to. I also am incredibly tired but this could be the new meds

OP posts:
ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 21/01/2009 14:48

tiredness can be a side effect of some meds.

be kind to yourself, do things gently - I have forced myself to go out and once I am I feel a bit better but I have a clear vision of a little house in the middle of nowhere with no phone and just a big open fire and a book - I want to be there no random noises just calm and the crackle of the fire.

I am no use as to how to tackle DH's if you come up with anything let me know - I could do with the help

Jacksmama · 21/01/2009 17:54

Mithered you could try some "switching" when memories ambush you between sessions

am typing this with DS sleep-nursing on my lap so forgive typos

so if you're having emotions come up (and this works any time, i use it whenever i'm distressed or angry), cover one eye with your hand and take stock of how you feel with that eye covered

then uncover the first eye and cover the second and see how you feel

there may or may not be a difference, but for ne there usually is, one side is usually more intense (angrier, sadder, scared) than the other

keep switching (covering one eye and then the other) - as soon as you feel intensity rise on one side, switch to the lesser side

do this until you can feel your emotions ramp down, usually a couple of minutes

you should reach a point where you're feeling as calm on one side as on the other

i hope that makes sense, try it, and if it doesn't i'll try to explain it better

naswm · 21/01/2009 21:16

I tried it, but coulndt get on with it. (Although that was during a partic bad patch and maybe I would respond differently in a different state?)

But I do know people who are having it, or have had it, and generally people respond well. But it doest take a little while to get to grips with it.

Stick with it if you can

And talk on here, there are a good number of us who have been through a number of different things to bounce ideas off

nas
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