God I hate this time of year.

[OrmIrian]

I am on citalopram for anxiety and until recently I was feeling great. But what with one thing and another I am ploughing my way through a great puddle of self-doubt and misery atm. I have a job that I don't feel confident at - I try but I always have the feeling that I'm short-changing my company. I've put on weight on - for the first time in a long time I feel fat and I hate it. I need to diet and the idea makes me miserable. DH and I are OK but I'm off sex and having to pretend to want it. I look at my lovely children and I don't deserve them. And I am so upset at all the threads about private schools atm. I don't totally approve of private schooling (I had a private education and I don't want my DCs to go through what I did in many ways) and all in all I am happy (more than happy often) with the state education my DCs have had so far. But I read all the threads on here about how even the 'good' schools aren't good enough and I wonder what I'm missing. Am I depriving my children? I go through life thinking that the world is a lovely place and most people are OK, and sometimes I wonder if I'm just deluded and in fact it's all a heap of shit and I'm a fool to beleive otherwise.

Awwww... shit

please can someone talk to me?

mn can make you feel shit education wise. it's not worth stressing over i've come to the conclusion.

spring will soon be here

sorry you feel bad at the moment.

I can't help, because everything's well under wraps for me - if I don't look at it, it isn't there.

Perhaps that's my problem. I have started to look under the wraps. New Year New start and all that crap.

new year makes you feel crap, you have to start seeing it through nature. a new start and all that

you always have come across quite upbeat ormi

hi

this is a miserable time of year isn't it.

ok, tackle one thing at a time, i'd start with the diet. you're eating too much because you feel depressed right?...then you put on weight and feel even more depressed! stop!

cut out the rubbish slowly..take one day at a time.

not sure what to say re; the sex/job/schools....just try and see the glass half full instead of half empty, concentrate on all the good things going on in your life...i bet there's loads...

and hey...spring is nearly here!

do you think this is a 'bad day' amongst the good since being on the citalopram?
maybe you need to discuss it with your GP again.
I know the AD's don't fix the problems, but they help make you feel strong enough to tackle them.

maybe this is you just realising all the things you want to fix. this could be the start of things improving.

orm it is a horrible time of year when everything seems impossible and all the bad stuff is so much worse. i am relentlessly positive in jan because it is my birthday (am not narcissistic loony). but trying to have fun with so many people feeling grim is sobering and i probably notice it rather than experience it iykwim.

we're all giving you a big hug

Give yourself a break Orm. Jan is traditionally a bit of a crap month. Can you book yourself a 'treat' a massage or an evening out with DP or both?????

Buy some daffodils sniff 'em and put them somewhere you can see 'em regularly.

Thankyou.

sea - I am naturally upbeat which is why my downbeat times are so bloody awful.

daftpunk - I need to get to grips with my diet. And TBH the wine Too much, too often. I hate feeling fat and out of control.

daffodils a good idea izy. It's my birthday in Feb and it's usually the beginning of things looking up. Mum gives me a big bunch of snowdrops from their garden. She's not well though this year (doesn't help ) so I may have to pick them myself.

Oh Orm. Well perhaps pick some for both of you. I think I will treat myself to some daffs this week, We can sniff'em together!

yes...i would defo cut down on the food (and drink)...when you lose the weight you can actually "see" the improvement..this will give you back the confidence you are lacking atm.

my mum died years ago, i think it's easy to underestimate the impact it has on you

dear orm. your children will do fine whatever schools they go to.

There are some lovely people here. Thankyou for making it feel like I matter.

This is a bad bad bad time of year for people prone to depression. I have just started myself a course of prozac as I could feel myself sinking. My doctor has always, for the past 9 years, handed them out as I need them. I always use them properly, staying on them as long as he says to, and no longer, he trusts me because he knows depressions (especially the type of depression I get) is an illness, I am not swinging the lead, and I need to be treated.

That works for you too. Maybe you could go to the doctor again and talk about the way you are feeling. Remember that Citalopram is a psycho active drug - it works to change your brain - and it may not suit you every well. You might be better off with a different drug - conversely, you might need a stronger dose, as prolonged anxiety often leads to depression (certainly in my case)

I am thinking of doing that coldtits. It's like I've walked into a fog.

I want to hibernate.

Of course you matter, you matter hugely

No probs, Orm.

of course you matter

That is exactly what I said to my doctor. It is my trigger though, when I start feeling like I am sitting on the edge of a deep dark well and I don't feel able to muster up the energy to find my hairbrush and brush my hair just because I'm not planning to meet anyone, I know it's a short step before I stop brushing my hair altogether.

If you can't make that fog go away by Monday or Tuesday, or if you get any ideas that frighten you, please please go straight back to the doctor. You deserve to feel well.