PND?

[TwentiethCenturyHeffa]

I posted this in 'General Health' yesterday but didn't get any responses so re-posting here. DD is 6 months, and I've been feeling quite ill lately (viral bronchitis) as well as having an iron deficiency. My GP told me that the iron deficiency might be causing unusual tiredness and minor depression, both of which I have had problems with of late.

I've been having real problems with anxiety at night since DD was born to a certain extent but it's recently become much worse. Lately, I find myself lying awake for hours, terrified of any sounds I hear (although all are completely normal sounds around the house - boiler, cat etc). Some nights I've ended up sleeping on the floor of the bathroom, with the door locked and lights on because it's the only way I can sleep. Last night I was wandering around the house switching on all the lights and carrying a torch to check but still felt very nervous even once I'd proved to myself there was nothing there and ended up sitting awake in a bed with a torch pointing at the door

I finally realised last night that this isn't entirely normal. I took the post-natal depression questionnaire which said depression was likely (18/30). I don't feel particularly depressed but I do feel very anxious (hence the night worries I guess). I do often find that I'll just start crying randomly during the day. Does anyone have experience of PND manifesting like this? What's the best way to proceed - should I go and see my GP?

Sorry if I post and run, I have to go out today and DD will probably wake up soon

Are you on the mini pill?

Hi TCH - are you seeing your HV regarding the high PND score you had - I got a score of 23 when DS was 13 weeks and the HV took me straight to see the GP who put me on anti-depressants and then she visited weekly for about 6 weeks and just spent an hour listening about how the previous week had been for me - it really helped me.

I should also mention that I am a HV myself and if you were under me I would be very concerned about you and would be offering weekly visits to listen and support you. Do you get any support from your HV or are they not particularly helpful where you live? I ask this as I have worked with some dreadful HVs in the past so I know that not all are supportive (but they SHOULD be).

A website I have found helpful is this one which has good message boards.

Hope that helps a bit - hang in there as you WILL get better - I did and at the time I never thought I'd ever do so.

i was just about to write a post, but it's EXACTLY the same as you. sorry to hijack, but if any responses might help both of us.

I wake up at 2-3am and just can't get back to sleep. just lie there listening. this happens 3-4 times a week. when it happens I am in tears and feel helpless all day. just feel like i can't make a decision, can't cope.

when i get enough sleep I am absolutely fine and cope really well and enjoy my dd immensely (6mo). she's marvellous.

dd sleeps pretty well - often sleeps through now. this is getting worse as she gets older and sleeps better - is it pnd? i'm too scared to go to the doctor in case i get "labelled" or they give me pills which mean i have to stop breastfeeding.

my HV is rubbish.

please someone give me and tch some advice?

EF - I'm not on the pill at all at the moment (my BP is quite high so my GP doesn't want me on it).

JollyPirate - I haven't seen my HV yet (only took the questionnaire yesterday) but I think I might. They do seem pretty good around here (and they work closely with the children's centre who have some lovely women). Thanks for the advice - I wasn't sure if the HV was the right person to contact.

Mololoko - sorry to hear you're going through the same It's really miserable isn't it. I do really enjoy my DD every day but I just feel so anxious and stressed all the time. She sleeps pretty well too, and that does seem to have made it worse in a way.

i've just spoken to a v. close friend with dd same age as mine and she says this is just what being a parent is like. she says she feels the same and i should just get on with it, and i'll be making a fool of myself going to a doctor.

how do we know what a "normal" level of anxiety is? i'm well aware that being a parent is difficult. am i just being "soft"?

20thcheffa (great name x) - let me know how you get on, hope you can get some help from your HV. thinking of you.

I only asked about the pill because of what happened to me.

I posted this thread a few months back (I am VictorianSqualor) about the huge levels of anxiety I was feeeling.

There is something wrong, with both of you, it isn't 'normal' to be feeling this anxious ~or maybe it is? So many of us go through this it almost makes it normal, I suppose, but it's not 'right', it's not how we are meant to feel.

What's going on in your heads, the general worry, is what every parent goes through, (at least this is how my doctor explained it to me) but there is a healthy level of anxiety (general checking on the baby before bed, or checking the door is locked etc) then there is an unhealthy level of anxiety, one that stops us from relaxing, from being able to do the things we would normally do ~such as sleep.

PND can manifest itself in many ways, anxiety being one of them. Somewhere in your head hormones aren't at quite the right level, which sometimes it is due to something coming in from outside (i.e. the pill) others it is ourselves producing these hormones, but again it is fixable.

You need to go and see your GP, both of you, and be completely honest, tell them exactly how anxious you are and see what they suggest. In my case GP said to stop taking the pill (other hormone-type meds you may or may not be taking can induce this added anxiety too, not just the pill) and if there was no change then we were going to try anti-d's. If your GP does suggest anti-d's please listen, and take them, this may be manifesting itself as a mental anxiety, a condition in your head, but it is most likely a hormone imbalance and that is what anti-d's are made for.

Lastly, keep talking on here, I found that once I actually started talking about the problem I realised just how ill I was and felt more able to go to the GP and explain how I was feeling.

Have either of you told anyone you know?

VS - I've been speaking to my DH and my mother about it today and they've both been very supportive. Mum went through the same thing so had some good advice. I was in hospital today seeing a consultant about a gynae issue and also told him so he's going to mention it to my GP for me. What you're saying about unhealthy anxiety is so true - ofc I worry about DD on occasions, which is normal but sleeping in a locked bathroom is not. Just admitting there's a problem has made me feel so much better.

Mololoko - don't listen to your friend, you wouldn't make a fool of yourself going to the doctor, that's what they are there for. The consultant today was great and very understanding. Hope you're OK.

hey 20th. hope you're ok today.

i saw the doc yesterday and he was ace. he said this is v. common and either i'm depressed which is causing anxiety and insomnia, or i've got insomnia which is causing depression and anxiety.

we're going to try some sleeping pills for a week to see if it's the latter and if not, then we can try some anti-d's.

he made a good point - i have been going to bed really early (9pm) and he thinks that might be knocking my body clock out of sync. he told me to stay up til 10.30 and that might help. did that last night and i did get a better night's sleep.

will try the tamazepan tonight when maybe i might be able to get a lie in tomorrow with dh around.

do let me know how you get on x

Hi Mol, I'm OK today thanks. I'm glad your trip to the doctor went well, good luck with the tamazepan! I hope a good night's sleep helps

I saw my doctor today and he was great. He explained that my HV would be a good person to talk to and has referred me to the mental health team so I can have someone to talk to. He hasn't put me on ADs but he's told me to come and see him again next week so we can talk about it. He's given me a questionnaire to fill in as well to help him assess what's best to do. He was v.understanding so I feel loads better for having spoken to him.

DH has been fab as well which is good

That's good TCH - am pleased you are finding supportive people around.

oh good, TCH. do let me know how you get on x

elizfilth,i just read your july thread and wanted to ask,as you were trying to leave your baby longer without checking on him,did you ever experiencea feeling something had happened to him when you weren't there?

Kind of.
I would sit and stop myself going to him but my whole body was screaming out for me to go and get him. I'd dread walking up the stairs because I was sure he was going to be dead.
Thankfully it only took a little time after stopping the pill to get things back to a healthy amount of worrying.

How are you ladies today?

Hi all, hope you don't mind if I join in.

They saw on tv it helps to talk with others experiencing the same problems so here goes.
I have a 33mth old and it was only last xmas I was finally diagnosed with pnd only I was extremely anxious. I tried to use herbal remedies did alot of walking but eventually got so bad had to give up work. I wasn,t sleeping couldn't shut off feared my little one had stopped breathing ( as did at 5wks and neighbour resussitated) then in hospital for week before diagnosed with kidney condition)so finally put on prozac in march and councelling and felt so much better. I came off them mid august to try for another baby, but lost one in sept and seem to have been struggling since. I don't want to go back on them. My husband is dead against them too. My weakness is my nerves and effets my stomach so difficult to go out sometimes. I have always suffered with my stomach and just over 6yrs ago saw private nutritionist who said i had wheat intollerance where my norm docs kept saying nothing wrong with me. I have now developed a fear of tummy bugs I know if we get them nothing you can do but ride it out. but makes me think twice about where I go and who I see. Also my 33mth old is very demanding rulling the roost and very strong willed and a poor sleeper. I just need to try and chill out bit but running out of ideas when money is tight! anyone suggest something not requiring cash and can be done at home please!!

TMD do you mind if I ask why you're dead against taking anti-depressants?

Hi, I'm not my husband is, you see his mum was pumped with pills for agriphobia and depression etc all his childhood and he had awful up bringing, My father (not seen him since child thank goodness) was a scitsophrenic abusive with it - not sure spelt right and my mother since i can remember has been on them and sleeping pills and still is. I'm trying to conceive but can't take them while I am. I know there is a possibility once i've had another child i'll need to go back on them. I just feel a bit of a fraud that I have a loving environment everthing I need and yet I still find it hard to cope. Mornings are the worst. Weather effects me badly and I am such a worrier. I didn't intend to get people's backs up it's just before I started a family I was a sucessful career woman manager looking after 40 staff and huge responsibility and I managed fine. I get a little person enter into my life and I crumble? I suppose I have't adapted very well to motherhood. I look at other women they seem so empowered so confident and I think where did I go? But as my councelor said how do I know they aren't feeling the same or taking the same? I just try very hard to hide my feelings to look at me you wouldn't think any probs. I feel better if I can stay home but that doesn't help me any really. I hope this answers your question.

xx

Hope you are both ok, and not giving yourselves too hard a time for feeling the way you do. I had (still have, but not as bad) PND after my DT's were born. They are now 9 months old, and thankfully I have more good days than bad days. I the early months, I was a bit of a mess. Couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, cried every day or flew into mad rages at DP for no reason. It got so bad, I even thought about walking out the door and never going back. I finally broached the subject with my HV who was great. She visited every week, made a docs appointment for me, and arranged for the community psych nurse to visit me. I am still on anti depressants, and seeing the psych nurse, and feeling much better. I also developed an eating disorder which is a struggle, and am gettingsupport with that from the eating disorder clinic. I thought I would never feel better, but now I do. I have a long way to go, but am so glad I stopped trying to hide how I felt and took the help and support I now know I so badly needed.

Hi plj
Yes I can definately sympathise with you I also lost appetite and weight plummeted. I do wonder if I came off the antidepressants too early but felt indirect pressure from my husband to be "normal" again. Plus i want another sibling for my little one so not only child but prooving a slow process. I'm looking through books, trying to control with diet yoga breathing and going for walks. It's not serious enough yet for me not to be able to cope but I can recognise the signs. And I know lots of women out there cope differently and we have to do whats best for us. just wish I could get preg and then I can get on with life. I suffer with endometriosis but until I have finished having a family they can't treat it. Many of my symptoms stem from this I reckon from resaerch I have done, but docs are too quick to dish out tablets instead of listen in my experience. Glad you are in a better place. I find also the weather doesn't help me more misserable it is outside the worse I am. Take care.

It is a hard struggle and the bad days are still bad. I actually think I was more prepared to deal with my emotional issues than my eating/weight issues. I was so scared of being labelled. I am not anorexic in the way that many people may understand, but I do have an eating disorder. I now understand that it is linked to my emotional state, and they can't be seperated. My MIL was horrified that I decided to take antidepressants, but they have and still are working for me. They won't be for everyone. However, the most valuable thing for me has been talking to the various professionals who are supporting me. I am now considering going for counselling to try and resolve some long standing issues from my childhood that I haven't been able to face so far. Today I am feeling low, which I think is because the weather is so crappy and I am facing what seems like an impossibly long day in the house. DP works away and although he should be coming home tonight, the bad weather may put pay to that. Tomorrow will be a better day I am sure. Take care too, and keep posting on MN. It helps.

Hi twentieth how did your weekend go?
FWIW I also believe that when we have a lot of life events/stresses together and are tired/run down,we get on a sort of high alert,almost obsessive type of way of thinking.This happened to me after a lot of life events,i was worried i had run over a cat etc in the car at night,and i think this is a warning sign that we've reached our stress limit iyswim.I'm glad youare sorting it out now,cos in my case the next bad thing that happened made everything much worse.

Its strange to read some one elses thoughts and think I never wrote that..... I believe that things are sent to try us and only make us stronger well I used to, until I lost a grand parent week before my little one arrived and everything kinda slipped from there. I definately agree life events play a big part in how we feel, and everyone deals with things differently. I was thinking of asking for councelling sessions again, just someone else to bounce off other than family. plj I hope your other half makes it home tonight but if not possible then my wise old grandad always said...better late than never!!! If not tonight you'll have extra day to plan how to spoil him tommorow!

Thanks TMD.take care.

Hi everyone, thanks for all the messages. It's good to know that I'm not alone I have weight issues as well and I'm currently trying to lose weight, which I know will makes things much better in the long run but it's hard not to have that crutch to lean on. I felt OK over the weekend but then I've had a very bad day today. I'm feeling very hormonal atm and have just realised that my period is overdue as well so I'm not a bit worried about that.

Morningsun - that does seem to make sense, about being on high alert and obsessive. I've felt like this in the past although never to this extent.

TMD - I think other women often like they're coping but I think it's maybe a defence mechanism? I'm guilty of pretending that everything is fine and then I feel silly because it means I don't get the support and it probably makes other women who are struggling feel worse.

PLJ - hope your DH made it home last night

Hi guys
I had to go back to the docors I knew in my heart that I wasn't feeling myself again, Ive tried to suppress my feelings but that has caused me to have anxiety attacks panic and shutting myself away. She was very nice and said what with the mc in sept being ill with the flu over xmas hubby nearly loosing job and only last week father in law having heart attack I was prob a little depressed but more anxious as had lot to deal with. I am back on AD so baby making is on hold for a long while. I just want to feel norm? I'm having trouble seing glass half full instead of half empty! Full up with cold too which isn't helping either! well have to pull myself together as got to make trip to nursery this pm!
xxx

Hi how are you doing plj? I have been on AD's for almost a month now and they are slowly starting to kick in. Just starting to feel calm and less panicy in mornings. I must say my appetite still not great but eating bit more than I was. Fed up of feeling ill tho, continualy since xmas cold cough sore throat on off and my hubby and little one. Just sem to pass it back and forth! Started councelling too but only get 6 sessions on the national health.
Is your hubby still working away? When the weather gets nicer and should do now spring is here we'll be able to get out more eh!