lovely to hear from you tonight hun
hope your ds settled last night and you got a nice rest?
thank the lord, i managed to get dd to have a sleep this afty!!, was torture, but persisited and finally got her to stop crying by quoting "shh, listen whats that sound" from razzledazzle, shes so nosy, she stopped crying, starting listening and dropped off
i felt so relieved once shed dropped off
and just sat and chilled out with dp
i used to be very confident in public(different matter inside) and knew something was 'wrong' almost immediatly as straight away our 'help' vanished and there were no friends/family available to help as they promised...first months will always put me off ever having any more, even though id like to give dd a sibling, its just not gonna happen..im not strong enough!
at this moment, my bad days over ride the good and to be honest, there are 'low times' every day..dd is very difficult at the moment, she's hitting, refusing to do anything she doesnt want too and even when you do something she asks, she then says no and throws a tantrum and havent read her mins exactly!!
finding it very hard
had driving lesson this morning and she said to dp whilst i was out..mammy..dont come back and kept telling me to go back upstairs and telling em to go away when i tried to get involved when she was doing something with dp
stupid, but i really feel like she hates me
i enjoy seeing her and dp getting a stronger relationship and am crying out for a break, but today, i just feel unwanted...pathetic i know
dp cut grass today, so we've all been out in garden playing which she enjoyed, but doesnt seem to like stopping doing anything before 'shes' ready at the minute and kicked off when i had to carry her in!, which started a stress induced argument with me and dp
.however this lead to a good talk about how we feel and i explained that i would have done things differently should i have not been worried about him winging or making stupid comments, he said he wished he was more laid back with her as niece runs around all over and parents can be at other end of cul de sac, where as our dd although is outgoing with people she knows, is much more timid, i told him i would be happy to mop up a couple of grazed knees and throw out some ripped trousers if it meant she was enjoying her self and building her confidense where as he would be like...you're not watching her...she's gonna fall..hurry up..shes running off and so on.
it really hit home to him and he asked why i was only telling him this now?
i told him because its generally easier to keep him happy and adjust the way i do things with dd.
ie:letting her throw a tantrum and ingnoring her instead of picking her up and 'making it better', get it out of her system and make her see she cant always have her own way..
anyway, i know how he works and know, hell be thinking more about it now, so hopefully he'll stop undermining me and stop questioning my judgement.
i told him that when he gets in from work and she pesters him and he's like oh for gods sake, how did he imagine i felt after a full day of it?
and he explained that he found it difficult, so knew i must find it much harder...i then snapped and told him that everyone always say that!, oh, im finding it hard..god knows how you must feel...must they dont actually give a shit and get on with their day!its just something they say so they try not to sound selfish.
i rarely complain in Rl and just 'get on' with things, so everyone assumes im fine, so dont bother asking.
so he's just had a bit of a wake up call!
see if it done any good!
wow, you thought you rambled
had to get that out though..prob doesnt make much sense as im typing so fast, but you'll get the jist if you havent fell asleep by this part
anyway...thanks for listeningxxx