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Original poster

Lonley - help

56 replies

miaprincessesmummy · 05/01/2009 16:46

I am a stay at home Mum to a lovely 5 month old but latley I have become quite depressed being at home all the time, I do not have any family support only my husband in the evenings and I only have one freind who I see every other week. I can't keep going like this since I left work I have lost contact with my work friends. I have been trying to find classes I can do with my baby but not driving I am stuck. Any ideas how I can make myself happy again?

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Original poster
miaprincessesmummy · 09/01/2009 22:13

Thank you for your support it is so nice to have people to talk to even if not face to face. I will try everything you have suggested and tell you how it goes.

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WizzyWoo · 09/01/2009 22:36

MiaPrincess I would just follow what Mia wants and trust your instincts. If she seems more interested in food than her bottle at breakfast, go with it. I used to find that Isabella would have a bottle as soon as she woke up, then an hour later would devour a bowl of porridge, so you may find Mia doesn't drop a bottle after all but just changes her feeding routine slightly.

No baby follows the manual that mum's are expected to stick to. Eg, Isabella is meant to drink cow's milk at her age (I forget how much) but flatly refuses it. I used to worry about it until someone suggested I just make up the calcium in other ways. I now make sure she has a milky cereal in the morning, finish her tea with something like rice pudding or semolina and give her a handful of grated cheese with her lunch. Not in the books probably but it works for us. What I'm trying to say in a really long-winded way is don't think you have to follow any advice to the letter and let Mia lead the way.

Original poster
miaprincessesmummy · 09/01/2009 22:41

WizzyWoo That is what I thought but you worry don't you? I am going to give her porridge a while after her bottle tomorrow and I will let you know how it goes. I think I worry so much as she is a big baby not fat but well over weight and height for her age.

Thanks again

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WizzyWoo · 09/01/2009 23:00

I don't know many babies who are exactly the right weight and/or height for their age. It'll all even out eventually. My friend's little girl is 3 but is so tall, people think she's at least 5. She isn't fat but weighs a tonne (verified when she comes and plonks on my knee, bless her!)

I think if I wasn't worrying about something with Isabella, I'd be worried about that too!

Good luck with the porridge. Watch out if Mia gets it in her hair - it's a bugger to get out when it dries!! Night night.

nappyaddict · 09/01/2009 23:08

Pasta with cheesy creamy sauce is good for lunch too or cheese and potato pie made with lots of milk.

Original poster
miaprincessesmummy · 10/01/2009 09:14

WizzyWoo thanks for the advise on the hair, I will watch for that. lol

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Original poster
miaprincessesmummy · 11/01/2009 22:28

Well I introduced breakfast and it has gone really well Mia is now sleeping from 7.30 to 7. I am pleased with that though I worry it may be to long for her to go without food. I have also seen our libary does Rhyme time so I will go along on thursday and see what it is about, maybe I will get the courage to talk to some other Mum's it would be nice.

Thanks agaon for all your advise.
x

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WizzyWoo · 11/01/2009 22:52

Great news about the breakfast/sleep pattern I wouldn't worry about it being too long a period for Mia to go without food - she'll be the first to pipe up if she doesn't like it, just enjoy your uninterrupted blissful sleep!

Isabella is cutting 3 teeth at the same time at the moment, two of which only broke through her gums today, so her sleep pattern is all over the place at the moment, as she keeps waking up with bright red cheeks and wailing while she holds her face - poor thing! I must admit, it's easier for me to be sympathetic during the day/evening. Not quite so understanding at 1, 3 and 4am...

Having major jitters at the mo. Just started ttc another baby this month but am so worried in case I suffer PND again. I think I actually had AnteND last time too but didn't realise until in hindsight. On the other hand, I'm having so much fun with Isabella at the moment, that I don't want to see a tiny person develop a character just the once. I can't wait for her to have a little brother or sister, just wish I was a bit more confident.

Glad you're going to go to Rhyme time, by the way. I have every confidence that you'll get chatting to other mums there and they might know of other places you and Mia can go. Are you seeing your friend this week?

Original poster
miaprincessesmummy · 12/01/2009 13:35

it sounds like your life is hectick at the min, I know about the teething Mia cut her first tooth last week and now the second one has just broken through this morning she is inconslable today I feel terrible for her.
congratulations on starting to try for baby Number 2, You should try not to worry about getting pnd I know that just because you have had it once it makes it no more likley to get it again, well that it what my Doctor has said to me as I was worried I would get it as I have on and off always suffered depression and thought it ment I was in for it in a big way. I have also been told it is easier the second time so just try and enjoy the experiance of trying for and carrying another baby.

I am seeing my friend on Wednesday hopefully so that should be nice, even if I dont I am feeling much more positive this week.

I hope Isabella is feeling better soon.

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nappyaddict · 12/01/2009 22:54

MPM - alternate calpol and nurofen if she's really in pain with the teething. or calpol and calprofen. Anbesol liquid is really good too - much better than the gels you can get.

Original poster
miaprincessesmummy · 13/01/2009 09:26

NP- I will go and get some nurofen as she seems better today but you don't know when it will start again do you? Thanks for the advise I didn't think og using them together.

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WizzyWoo · 13/01/2009 21:46

Evening all, I hope mums and babies are all well?

Thanks for the reassurance, Miaprincess. I'm feeling a lot more settled today, I think it was probably hormones making me a bit out of sorts. It probably will be easier with #2 as I'll recognise signs of things earlier, worry less about all the conflicting advice available to mums etc...

Nappyaddict - have you ever tried using teething granules before? I've heard of them but don't know anyone who has actually tried them... Just wondering if they're any more effective than bonjela to apply straight on gums as DD just licks it off.

nappyaddict · 13/01/2009 23:58

TBH I used the lot. Calpol, nurofen, teething granules, anbesol and then frozen fruit/veg, flannels, teethers, toothbrushes, water with ice in etc aswell.

WizzyWoo · 14/01/2009 20:10

nappy You're a teething pro! I take it the only worthwhile thing is alternate calpol/nurofen then? It seems you tried everything!

Miaprincess I hope you enjoyed spending time with your friend today. Sorry if you've already covered this (my excuse is my brain isn't working due to a cold overload) but does your friend have babies/children?

Good luck going to rhyme time tomorrow. You'll be fine and don't worry if your confidence is a bit low at the moment, just be yourself - I'm sure you'll feel happier once you've spent some time with other 'grownups'. I hope Mia enjoys herself too.

Original poster
miaprincessesmummy · 14/01/2009 21:45

WizzyWoo Thanks I hope it goes well tomorrow as well but we will see. My friend counld not make today she was busy, she is one of those Mum's that always has people to see and things to do so never mind. Yes she does have a 3 year old son.

Its not easy my Husband is even working weekends at the minute and it is very lonely I think I am going to have to find a permenant way of getting out of the house.

Speak soon.

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Original poster
miaprincessesmummy · 14/01/2009 21:45

WizzyWoo Thanks I hope it goes well tomorrow as well but we will see. My friend counld not make today she was busy, she is one of those Mum's that always has people to see and things to do so never mind. Yes she does have a 3 year old son.

Its not easy my Husband is even working weekends at the minute and it is very lonely I think I am going to have to find a permenant way of getting out of the house.

Speak soon.

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nappyaddict · 14/01/2009 22:45

Wizzywoo - none of the things worked on their own but together they worked well iyswim.

Original poster
miaprincessesmummy · 15/01/2009 13:24

Went to Rhyme time and didn't speak to anyone I did try to talk to the person sitting next to me but she didn't seem interested I think I will ahve to keep going and maybe then they will be willing to talk to me. I am so lonely and just because I am shy I don't see a reason people don't want to make friends with me I wonder what is wrong with me and I keep asking my husband that. I will try for a while and then I see no option but to accept I have no family or friends of my own and that is just the way it is.

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Original poster
miaprincessesmummy · 15/01/2009 13:25

Don't listen to that last message I am just feeling sorry for my self and need to get a grip. I will be fine.

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ksld · 15/01/2009 13:44

Miaprincess - you are allowed to feel sorry for yourself, don't apologise. Being lonely is horrible! I remember being so keen to talk to people my voice sounded really loud in my head, and I was so tired when DS1 was small I couldn't form proper sentences - people must have thought I was mad.

My tips are to try everything you can get to/afford to do - some places you'll hate, some will be great. With babygroups do go a few times before giving up on them - you never know if the friendlier people will be there the next time. I know of so many people who gave up after one try. Go to things and observe the other Mums, pick one who seems friendly and chatty, establish which is her child and then make some comment about her child/praise her child. (Most people can't resist talking about their own children - including me!) Even if this is the only conversation you have that day - it will be a start, and you can say more the next time.

Keep getting out the house - Mia is too young to appreciate much now - this is for YOU to keep you feeling happy and confident as her Mum.

Good luck.

nappyaddict · 15/01/2009 15:42

I found when starting a new group the best things to get people talking were aww is he/she yours? how old is he/she? what's his/her name, oh he/she's very good at .... isn't he/she, i love his/her outfit/hair/hat whatever.

nappyaddict · 15/01/2009 15:43

also people seem to love it if you comment on what big eyes they have

Original poster
miaprincessesmummy · 15/01/2009 19:14

I will try all these suggestions as I feel it is hopeless at the minute.

Its not helping that dh doesn't seem to want to spend time with me anymore either.

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Marie12 · 15/01/2009 21:09

whereabouts are you mia?

Original poster
miaprincessesmummy · 16/01/2009 15:10

Near Gatwick

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