Good Days / Bad Days.....why does one small thing make us 'flip?'

[TiredBunny]

Does anyone else go for weeks feeling ok then suddenly have a 'flip' and go through a few days of feeling awful? I have been feeling better than I have for a while then suddenly becuase of something silly I feel I have slumped right back down again. Wouldnt mind but I have had a nice day and been to a good friends for tea where I felt fine. Now I am home alone (not including dd) and I feel like I want to cry, scream and shout.

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Don't know if you can really call them 'good' days but my new ads seem to be lifting me a bit so that i really 'enjoy' my dd. Feel sooooo lonely and getting people are fed up with hearing tales of my 'troubles'.

doh.... people are getting fed up ..... cant even type.

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Its great isnt it and amazing that really loads of people care... just we dont all know each other.

I have found that generally the small thing that makes me flip is 4 years old

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No, TiredBunny, please don't feel that way. No one is forced to read about anything they don't want to, right? I still have days where I feel awful... sort of like turbulance when flying. I'm on ADs but still have occasional "down" patches & worry that I'm heading for a major depression. It hasn't happened though. Hang on & wait for it to pass.

Trouble is I have suffered onand off for 14 years if I am honest. Have been referred by doc for counselling which i am really glad about. Hopefully that will help me prioritise the things i need to deal with. i just want a lovely man to walk in and say 'fancy a brew honey..... i'll put the kettle on!'

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Thanks...... I feel like my life is a rollercoaster .... I worry constantly.... i worry that friends have fallen out wth me..... that i will be alone forever.... that i will never be able to buy a house and afford foreign holidays. I am so selfish...... i have friends who are having a hard time but all i can think is me, me, me!

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SOrry to hear youre not good. Am just looking up my new ads.... anti psychotic it says on here...... i didnt realise that. anti psychotic sounds worse than anti depressant.

It is probably an AD with some sort of sedative in it to calm you... perhaps to help you sleep or just relax you generally. I'm sure you're not psychotic!

i dont think I am.... rather paranoid at times though. I think psychotic depression is something low level and underlying in you all the time...... mightve got that wrong though?!

i ran out of ad's before the bank hol weekend, so am also really crappy at minute then dp got up this morning in foul mood??no idea why add to that it's my birthday tomorrowgunna be great innit!

Happy Birthday for tomorrow.... can you take any time at all out for yourself??? SOmetimes I think being a single mum is easier because at least i dont have to cope wiht a mans moods! Just looked up pyschotic depression and I got it wrong.... neurotic depression is less severe and what I think I have. Maybe the meds I am on are low dosage and maybe for this.

thankscant get any time out today as dp at work(and he doesnt realise 'i'need a break sometimes too, and have to take dd to doc and get my ad's.
like you i go from being really'up' to come crashing right back down, but my good times and bad times change every day, i sometimes feel i could have a diiferent form of depression ie manic?although dont think i know enough about it..just can feel incredibly high..then feel like walking out of a room half way through conversation and crying???
horrible isnt it?

yeh...... you sound a lot like me. i feel like crying now and have just woken up. I am taking my dd to nursery today so will get a break.... sometimes thats worse though cos i have nothing to do when she isnt around. I feel like people are just thinking I am always 'miserable' which isnt the case. I feel like this and cant do anything about it. I am soooo hopeful that counselling will help though.

good luck with the counselling
when do you start?
i had it when i was younger and it really helped, but its only since i had dd ive got bad again, much worse than i ever was and im just so messed up i dont know who 'i' am anymore.
i dont want dd to remember this time and think this is how 'i am'..never in a million years to i dream id be this unhappy when i had a beautiful daughter and spend all day with her

I think thast the worst bit about depression.... you never imagined it could be you. I thought I would be the patient earth mother who breast fed for years and made all my own food. All I can say is that my dd (3) is my best friend (Possibly too close????!!) and she seems happy enough .... though I have one friend who tells me she is disturbed becasue she still has little wee accidents quite regularly. I really try to do nice stuff with dd now.... crafty stuff, taking her to farms etc to give her some really happy experiences. Not that these are enough to outweigh the 'sad' time but they give us lots of good things to chat about. My trouble is that I save my really low times till she is in bed then feel like I am crumbling! I sat my dd on my knee one day when I was crying and she said 'whats the matter mummy, its ok mummy dont cry cos I love you and we are best friends arent we' I suppose now she is at the age where she can give something back to me i get a boost now and then. am waffling now!

Havent had the letter with an appointment for counselling yet but you would hope they wouldnt leave it too ling. 2 weeks since i saw doc though.

id give em a ring, thier in no rush are they!

i failed my driving test 'again' last week and came in in tears and dd came straighte over to me and kept hugging me and smileing at me shes not even two yet, but she was holding me together

They do that dont they! they keep you ploughing on even when you dont want to.

and now shes sat as good as gold watching lil bill, while i type on here and sort out council tax crap! bless her