I feel so weary

[Titania]

just got back from shopping. it was the last thing i needed to be doing but it was a case of having to. I feel totally drained mentally and physically. My head is starting to hurt again. I am sat here in tears....I can't physically do anymore even if i wanted to. There is still so much that needs doing but i really cant even lift myself up enough to even go up the stairs.....WTF is wrong with me??? I feel so damned useless and crap.

is there anything you can do that you will enjoy - video/music whatever

if you are too knackered to do the kitchen, you're too knackered - much better to have a proper break than to fret about it.

Titania you are too hard on yourself my kitchen table is covered in the breakfast things still and here I am on the computer

I know that when you feel out of control in life, little things become really important to show that you do still have an element of control - but honestly, ironing is NOT important. Make a list of what is important and on the other side make yourself write down what really isn't important.

What is important is your health and sanity.
What isn't important is whether your sheets are ironed.
What is important is that you feel you still have a bit of 'you time'.
What isn't important is having a spotless bathroom.

Of course it's nice to feel on top of everything and have a lovely clean, tidy and ordered house - but at the end of the day noone is going to suffer terribly if the house is not perfect. You cannot be superwoman all the time. Accept that some things are going to have to go to pot for a little while until you feel stronger and have more energy.

Good luck. I'm sorry if I sound like I'm preaching - I don't know your situation - but I do understand the needing to keep control over little things in the house which really DON'T matter.

Hey Titania hope you feel a bit better today.

Honestly you do too much. Whats going to happen if your sheets aren't ironed? will the kids love you less? no. will dh? no. Will all these mumsnetters rally round to point the finger and pour scorn? hell no. Will you get ten minutes to do something else or maybe just to do nothing? yes.

I remember reading your daily housework routine on another thread and being amazed that one woman with kids could do so much in a day!

But sometimes its better to let the house work go hang (and lets face it your view of dirty is probably my vision of hygiene paradise) and just allow yourself to be still for a bit. Doing nothing for a while is not a sin!

is there anything you enjoy like swimming or cinema that you could go and do? Do you have kids to look after today?

um...i dont really have any interests (apart from MN!) dd is at nursery til 11.20 so got to go get her in a bit. ds1 is at school til 3.15, ds2 is asleep at the moment

what about trying new cafes or window shopping or trying swimming or jogging or chocolate shops - just something which gets you out of the house so you're not feeling trapped and guilty by all the housework you're not doing. staying in the house really won't be helping you - I had a very low point a few weeks back where for 2 weeks all I did was stay in the cold house, rooted to my pc, on mumsnet. As great as MN is, it is so important to get out and stop thinking about how sad you're feeling. Easier said than done I know. But truly - get some fresh air - go on a brisk walk once you've dropped the kids off in the mornings - treat yourself to a nice cup of coffee somewhere, with a newspaper or magazine. RELAX for a bit.

would do if there was actually somewhere to go around here...... joys of living rural hey?!

There's lots of free fresh air then? a library? a farm shop? set yourself a new walking task each day - every day walk a tiny bit further and a bit faster - get the blood pumping and your heart racing a bit - breathe in fresh air. Give yourself a mantra - something that you repeat to yourself in your head with each few steps - something positive:

"the ironing doesn't matter"
"my kids need me and I need them"
"each lungfull of air will make the cobwebs go away"

I don't know!?

Do you have a friend/relly near by that you can walk to every other day - for a coffee and a meaningless chat about celebrity relationships?!

no. No friends....

Titania, I have never regularly ironed my bedclothes. Once in a while if I'm in the mood to feel like Martha Stewart, but otherwise I just try and dry them as straight as possible to minimise the creases, and then offer up thanks for fitted sheets.

I know the thread has moved on from sheets, but had to mention this!

If you and your family are warm, clean (ish) and fed, then that's all that matters - details such as ironing bedclothes (and frankly anything like t shirts, or jeans or pajamas I put way down the priority list.). We do have someone who helps us at the moment, so we are in better shape than we usually are, but the minute she is no longer with us the old rules will apply!

Is there anywhere you can make some friends? Are there any mumsnetters near you - have you asked?

are there no clubs you could sign up to - however random and bizarre it sounds - you just might hit on something you are interested in...?

stone wall building
teaching
playgroups
join local NCT
volutary work for a charity or library or school or old peoples home?

Titania {{{hugs}}}

I agree with the others that housework is no where near as important as your well being. Sounds like you need a day of pampering yourself.

Are the children with you at the moment? If not go and run a hot bath and relax. Or have a siesta.

So sorry to hear you're down Titania. I hear ya on the cleaning thing though (totally like monica here from friends lol)
I noticed you said that no friends lived near you. Whereabouts are you? Kettering, Northants here.
Take care

Glad you got a good nights sleep, anyway. It's really important - I'm like a mad demon if I'm tired.
I wonder why you are so lethargic and sick feeling? Any ideas what that could be? Have you ever had your thyroid levels checked? It goes along with feeling depressed, I think. Or maybe you are going down with a cold or PMT? A nice bubbly bath sounds like a good idea at some stage.

yes i have had thyroid checked and it came back as normal. i dont get pmt. bath would be nice but got to go get dd from nursery in 10 minutes.

Titania, could you be iron deficient? I know when I was anaemic I was so tired and lethargic.

no i had a test for anaemia too. came back fine

I can't remember what's happening for you with ADs - have you changed brand or dose?

Uh Oh! Could be a cold then!

Can you strike a balance between getting jobs done that will give you that nice glow of satisfaction, and making sure you give yourself enough rest? Moving house is incredibly stressful, and IME the effects last for months! Anyway, hope you get through today ok, an hour at a time.

am on 20mg cipralex atm. have been for a while now apart from a few days break when i ran out.

How are you feeling?

sick....tired....achy...generally crap!! its the tiredness more than anything thats getting me...

does your child have a sleep? can you have 20 mins too?

can you bung on cbeebies for child while you lie on sofa and flip through mag?