Would you visit an old friend in a psychiatric intensive care unit?

[Otins]

An old friend from 20 years ago - we make online contact a couple of times a year and I haven't seen her in person for 10 years, has made contact via Messenger. She usually lives the other side of the country to me, but she said she is in hospital about 1hr away from me.

I immediately said I could visit...and she was very excited and gave me the details. It is a psychiatric intensive care unit (PICU) I had naively assumed she had broken her leg or something and was in a general hospital.

I am aware she is bipolar and she has been sectioned once before in the last 10 years.

However, I am very unsure about visiting her on the PICU. The list of rules and contraband items is huge.

I rang the unit today to try to find out any information about what visiting would be like, and explained I am unwilling to visit without some sort of indication as to how she is. I explained I am not a close friend, but I am local-ish. I explained I have no experience of being around someone experiencing a severe mental health episode and I would like some idea of what to expect.

They naturally couldn't tell me anything about her condition or health, but they said I could ask her to give her permission to share information with me. They they said about support and bringing in supplies/clothes for her if I were to visit. I said that I cannot offer any support, but I would possibly be able to visit, if I were able to find out a bit more about what I was potentially walking into. All they could say was that they wouldn't authorise any visitors if they though anyone would be unsafe (24 hrs notice is required for any visits to arrange a room and staff)

If I ask my friend to give them permission to give me information I worry that I will be some kind of de facto contact / next of kin (as far as I know she is not in contact with any of her family and hasn't been for years) I don't want to be at risk of getting a phone call in the middle of the night as she has absconded, or worse.

But it feels mean to not visit when she is so close and she doesn't have anyone else?

She said in her message that she is not ill, and that it is a long story. A couple of things she said in the message make me think she is very ill (and I assume she wouldn't be there if she wasn't)

What would you do?

Yes but is that PICU wards or acute wards. There is a big difference here and it’s important. PICU is the intensive care unit. So for the most unwell , but who require a lot of staff input. This usually mean intense behaviours . Acute psychiatric wards are very different. Like you say much calmer

I think the op should think about it like a physical health hospital. If this person was in intensive care would they visit - normally it would only be very close friends and family who would visit someone in intensive care but if they were on an open ward then more people would visit.

I think this is the key thing here.
As you haven’t been in touch for 10 years I don’t think it would be appropriate to have contact when she is clearly very unwell. She may regret you seeing her in that state.

From what you’ve described you aren’t close friends , my guess is given her illness she has either lost touch or alienated other family and friends and she is now calling on a distant friend . Personally I wouldn’t go until I was reassured she was well . What’s to be gained , you may visit and did doesn’t recognise you or she maybe so medicated you can’t converse anyway . I’d drop a care package and fetch out some clothes as asked and to be informed when she is well .

Listen to @lljkk always sensible advice.

I'd go to see your friend and take her in a few inexpensive supplies like chocolate bars, a book, toiletries etc. Treat her exactly as if she wasn't in this unit. Start visit by saying you can only stay a little while then If at any time you feel uncomfortable you can say you have to leave now. Your friend won't be getting any other visits and so this will mean a lot to her.

Not read the whole thread .
Completely understand your concerns.
I was very worried indeed about visiting brother on a section in a psych hospital.
It was ok , the receptionist on the desk was lovely.
Can you take another person with you?
I think it would be a great kindness to visit and need not commit you to further visits or ongoing support of any kind.