Threw it all away

[LastSatsuma]

Has anyone ever been this stupid?
Or know what I should do?

I was hearing such awful voices this morning, they told me that my medication was poisoning me, a conspiracy to make me quiet and not speak out about bad things that have happened to me. So I threw it all away. In the bin on the street.

Now I'm not sure if I should tell anyone, I don't know if I will be in trouble. I'm confused about if I should have it or not, whether I really am being poisoned. There's lots of different tablets I normally have, if I asked the doctor for new ones I would be too embarrassed and it is bad that I am wasting their money. The voices now say I am going to be making everyone cross and think I am very bad, so I mustn't tell anyone. I'm asking here because I haven't got to speak out loud so they can't stop me.

I apologise if no one knows or has done this. It's not normal I know.

Didn’t want to just read and run. You are not stupid but you do sound unwell. Do you have a crisis team you can call?

Yes, you should tell a medical professional. They'll have seen this before, probably lots of times. (The first thing my relative does when she is escalating into a bad patch is to stop her medication, thinking it's harmful. I shouldn't think she's the only one.)

Yes, you definitely need to tell your GP or crisis team exactly what you’ve done and why. They will understand. You haven’t been bad and nobody will think that you have wasted money. They will want to help you feel better. You haven’t been bad at all.

You will definitely not be in trouble for this and you do need to tell someone, like your psychiatrist or GP.

I think you can ring 111 and ask for emergency prescriptions. It’s important that you don’t stop your medication especially as you are already hearing voices so you are quite unwell.

I will try to phone someone tomorrow. It's too late now. Or maybe I should wait til next week, I might feel lots better by then and I have an appointment with a psychology man on Monday. Then I won't be taking up anyone's time extra to what is planned.
Did any of you ever throw medicines away?

Look, if you go to the pharmacist, they will give you the doses you were missing until you get to see your psychiatrist on Monday. I think that’s what you should do.. no point letting those voices have all the control, you are in control too..

I don’t think you should wait until next week, I would ring someone first thing tomorrow

Plus, please do ring 111 or your crisis team if you need help it’s okay. We all have ups and downs…

I’ve stopped my medication because voices in my head told me to. I ended up in a psychiatric hospital so not to be recommended.
Ring 111 now and they will arrange prescriptions which you can pick up in the morning

can you write down the same thing as you wrote in this post on a piece of paper.

Tomorrow morning, walk into the pharmacy and give the piece of paper to the pharmacist. you won't have to talk and be embarrassed or worried about the voices, and the pharmacy can help you get help. Or you can go now if there is late night pharmacy near you.

Or if the GP is nearer, then walk to the GP and give them the paper.

That’s a really good idea OP. I would do that. I have experience of this and you do need to take your medication. Good luck tomorrow. Don’t leave it until next week.

OP, phone 111 now. They won’t be judgmental, and they will help you, or tell you what to do. Please, don’t leave things until next week. You need to get help and new medication as soon as possible.

I could try writing it down but that would mean I have to get to see someone. I don't live near anything medical.
the doctor is 10 miles and the pharmacy. The hospital is 20 miles. If I write on the doctors' internet thing in the morning maybe I could ask a doctor if I should have new tablets
or not. But I only want to talk to a woman, I wish I still had my nice doctor.
She was kind but they told me she was too busy to have so many ill people so I have to have a different one. They are a man and I have never spoke to them before. The voices are so angry that I started to talk about when people hurt me, in the psychology appointments. It was men that did bad things but I am the poisoned one now.
I don't think I will get much sleep. My head hurts. Thanks for the advice and kindness.

i don't want to go back to hospital like someone said. Not been there for a long time. I'm sorry you were ill. Did your tablets poison you?

My tablets didn’t poison me, it was just my mind telling me things that were not true because I was unwell. Your tablets will not poison you either OP and you will see that when you are feeling better. Please make sure you contact 111 now and they will sort out how to get your replacement tablets. If you explain everything to them, they will be able to help you.

Do you have anyone at home with you at the moment who can help you sort it out?

OP you can absolutely request a female doctor. Add that to the request when you send it so they know for a female to call you.

Do you know the name of the medication? I assume that it's all been chucked and you don't have more?

I've just got my son who has special needs so no help to me. He is 17 but not like most teenagers because of his autism and other things.
i know some of the names of the medicines but not the numbers. Risperidone aripiprazole sertraline omeprazole prazosin propranolol diclofenac zomorph I think that's it. Such a silly waste, I don't think they will give me new ones there's too many. I already have pain inside my chest and tummy so that's probably because I did talk about the bad things happening. It's my fault and probably a fair punishment, I wish I could rewind the time and not tell the psychologist about the things I did say even though it wasn't all of it.

Did the poison get in then or by speaking or by sneaking it in the tablets? I don't know and my brain can't make sense of things.

sorry for speaking too much.

You will definitely need your medication, you will get horrible withdrawal symptoms.

you fill in the form to the doctors tomorrow and write it as you have told us in here
The voices in your head told you to throw all your medications away and you have thrown them in the bin and can not get them back

The doctor will organise something for you

Call the 34 hour crisis team. Nobody will care that you binned the meds. They cost pennies. You are worth more. The meds will help you, they are not poison. Of course you can ask for a female GP. You do not need your see a man. I hope the noise in your head can be calmed.

Please tell someone
You won't be judged but will be helped. Try111 option 2 or a&e.

Most of these medications won’t cause horrible withdrawal symptoms except Zomorph and sertraline. It depends on how long you have been taking them.

Here is a link for you:

https://www.hearing-voices.org/#content

You can call 111 tonight or in the morning. You won’t be in any trouble for throwing your medication away.

I want to say thank you to each of you for being kind and giving me advice. You didn't need to and it has been a comfort. I don't think I'll sleep but I am going to listen to an audio book and try to rest. The audiobook helps muffle some of the voice noise.

That’s a good idea, lying down and listening to something calming. I hope you can get some rest 🌺

Try to get some rest and come back to post again in the morning if it helps. There are lots of kind people on this forum who have experience of MH issues themselves and are happy to offer help and support 💐