Waiting in A&E 136 suite feeling very alone (TW)

[emanresuchange]

I’m in a 136 suite, I think that’s what it is. And could do with some company.

made a half hearted attempt a few hours ago, more just needing things to stop/a break from the world.

rang 999, got made to drink a glass of some black chalky stuff that’s stained everything in sight,

and now sitting in a room in A&E with a very uncomfortable seat and a cup of tea/tuna sandwich, and a nurse watching me. If they close the door they have a window they can see me through.

i haven’t told anyone what’s happened and wishing i had or could. Dunno what to do. They said someone from psych hospital will come and speak to me and see where we go from here but said that could be hours yet. I just want to go home now, I don’t know what I was expecting to happen.

Next door keeps screaming that he was ‘only defending himself (I’m) and not fucking nuts’. God knows what he’s done.

I’ve never done this before. Feel totally shit.

I think right now, the best thing to do is to stay there, distract yourself if you can, and wait to be seen.

Do you have a game on your phone you could play, or some music to listen to or a kindle app or similar to read?

Another alternative would be to have a chat with someone about how you're feeling now, and have been recently. Maybe samaritans or a local service - local Mind organisations and similar often run listening support helplines.

What do you think would be helpful right now?

Hi op, sorry to hear things are difficult for you at the moment! I’m glad you are in a place of safety. They are probably going to get psych liaison to come and see you, that will likely be a mental health nurse (or two) who will come to chat with you. try to be honest with them, see this as an opportunity for change and help to start. There’s no shame in seeking help. Im a mental health nurse and have worked in wards, they’re not the best places on earth but they’re not the worst and it could be life changing for you, a new beginning.

Been sitting reading. I work in healthcare in inpatient psychiatry of all bloody things just don’t have much experience of this side, or not to the level of trying if you get me. Thoughts for years and years but something snapped this morning.

Work was so stressful yesterday to the point I was in tears, the whole week has been horrendous, I’ve had a chest infection and gastroenteritis (haven’t been so ill since I was 5, I lost 8lb in 2 days). I’ve got immense pressure from everyone around me and money worries. And my mum was diagnosed with dementia 4 years ago tomorrow. Then then my granny will have died 4 years in 2 weeks time (mum’s mum). Just shit. I didn’t want to die I just needed to not be responsible for anything anymore.

I’ve got a little sister with learning disability so I have to be here for her, but no one ever phones me and just says ‘are you OK’; it never happens.

at work the other day I ended up sitting on the floor in reception hyperventilating as I couldn’t cope.

I'm so sorry it feels like you've got nobody to genuinely say "how are you?" And mean it.
I don't have a lot of constructive advice or opinions etc but I wanted to post and send you the biggest unmumsnetty hug x

@emanresuchange we all have our limits and working in mental health doesn’t make us immune to stress and strife. It’s ok for you to not be ok right now. I’ve had difficulties with anxiety and depression in the past and understand how difficult it is to accept you need help rather than delivering that help to
others but you can’t give what you don’t have. It sounds like you’ve been caring for others including your sister so it’s not surprising that you’re burnt out!
do you have any support?

I’m not great at telling family when I’m struggling, they would support if they knew I think, but there’s an element of ‘you just need to get up and get on with it all’ which is easier said than done really. My aunty often says she experienced a lot of trauma and it doesn’t bother her now, but I feel I’m failing because mine does me.

I think the worst thing is I’m desperately lonely, I want friends but I don’t have any really other than work and whilst my aunty is desperate for me to do various things in the community, like voluntary stuff - but that means my entire Saturday is gone, which then means I’m exhausted by Sunday and rushing round doing everything I couldn’t during the week … and then before you know it I’m back at work and back to square one.

Do you know what? That’s a fuck ton of stuff to worry about. I’m really sorry that no one has noticed that you are not super woman, able to hold up the world.

You’ve been physically ill and unable to stop and look after yourself. Can you take time away from work, be signed off, so you can actually rest and recover physically?

Does your aunty work? When you work full time, and have caring responsibilities, you need some of your downtime to be just that. The chance to rest.
Voluntary work can be good- the people are often kind- but you need to enjoy it and enjoy the company.otherwise it’s just another responsibility.

We don’t get paid (not NHS); I really shouldn’t have been near work at all as last Friday I was sick/the other end some 25 times in one night … spent all day Saturday/Sunday in bed then back to work.

I think they will have to sign me off this time not sure. If we got paid I’d do it in a heartbeat but we only get basic SSP.

So sorry you’re going through all this. It sounds like a lot. I can’t really give you any specific advice. I know that the world can feel like a lonely and relentless place.

My mother had dementia. It’s very tough.
Do you feel like the care for your sister is fully on you?
Or is there some support in place?
If there is, maybe you can step away a bit?
To put it in a weird way, step away temporarily rather than permanently?

You sound like a caring and lovely person.

I’m sorry. That’s crap. I thought NHS was better than that.

She’s not long retired. She’s so so lovely, I see her and my uncle as my ‘parents’ even though I’m mid 30s but part me of just wants to say ‘I can’t’. I know the leisure things I’d like to do; I’d like to do chilled stuff that’s got no responsibilities at all. Not something that just feels like another job albeit outdoors.

She’s in supported living which does help; and I’ve got a cousin who’s very good to her and does a lol of her life admin stuff. It’s more emotional support, she rings me most nights just to complain about various things and I feel bad as I can’t always listen at the moment.

There’s a mental health team in seeing the chap next door so hopefully they then see me. There’s three of them seeing him. Can tell which ones are MH as they’re not in scrubs 🤣

That sounds like an awful lot. How old are you and how old is your sister? Do you live together?

Have to say, what the hell has it got to do with your aunt whether you do voluntary work or not? You've got so much going on - you're the one who needs help, you haven't the mind-space to help anybody else right now. You have your mum and your sister to worry about as well as yourself. Tell your aunt to keep out of that part of your life - it's absolutely nothing to do with her.

I’m glad your aunty’s lovely. Sounds as though she’s suggesting a bad idea for a good reason!

Perhaps you could tell her, really bluntly, that you are physically and mentally exhausted and need to have some time to yourself rather than a change of scene.

Hopefully this will get you connected with the right support services. Take advantage of what is offered. You can’t help all those other people if you don’t take care of yourself first,

Hopefully you can get signed off. SSP is better than losing your job or feeling this desperate again. Ask your cousin if she can field calls from your sister for a while.

I hope you're being seen now and something constructive comes of what you've been through today.

You absolutely don't need to be taking on voluntary work right now. Having been in a similar boat, I'd suggest a really good rest and paring back all the non essentials so you can focus on yourself and what will make life easier/happier for you is probably more helpful.

These guidelines are really helpful for explaining the bare bones of what might happen going forward and your rights.

www.nhs.uk/mental-health/social-care-and-your-rights/mental-health-and-the-law/mental-health-act-easy-read/

Set a timetable for calls to your sister. We have a DD with learning disabilities in a care home. We ring her on Teams three times a week for 30 minutes at a set time of day. Then she knows when we will be calling again, and she will have our attention for 30 minutes.

We tell the staff not to enable her to call us, unless something dreadful has happened. They can distract her by saying we will be calling tomorrow night!

Otherwise, she’d be texting us 250 times in a weekend, if she had a basic function phone.

It cuts down the demands on you OP - or whatever you can cope with?

We’re so sorry to read what’s happened, OP, and we’re very glad you’re in hospital and being looked after.

We’ve moved this thread over to Mental health now, where we hope you’ll get gentle support. Please do keep speaking to the medical team around you and let them know exactly how you’re feeling as they’re the right people to help you through this safely.

Best wishes.

Oh you poor thing, I’ve been there and it’s hard.

Be totally honest when they assess you. The only way they can help is with full disclosure.

Take care x

Bless you, it is very frightening when in crisis. Sadly something I have experienced myself. I've read your thread and it seems like you have so much going on right now.

I really hope the mental health team will offer you some good support and I am also glad you reached out here.

Thinking of you x

I volunteered one afternoon at the weekend and when working full time in the week it was too much so I stopped (I was getting snappy so i wasn’t pleasant to the people and they didn’t benefit )

Self care is so important .It isnt a luxury but necessity .
Dont let your aunt railroad you into anything !
You sound like you hit breaking point . I agree - get signed off and rest .
Does your mum get carers ?
Hugs x