Looking for support/advice
2 DD under the age of 4. Full time employment in high pressure job. Home is mortgaged solely by myself and always has been. Separated from exP about 11 months ago, but he comes and goes as he pleases and does something to punish me every time I set a boundary.
I’m struggling to literally function. Work is overwhelming, can’t concentrate or make basic decision. I’m no longer able to cook because I just don’t have the energy. I spend everyday waiting for the day to end. I can’t get the kids of ending my life out of my head, it haunts me all day. I can’t keep on top of the housework, every room is trashed. Finances are hard on my own also. I’m finding myself to be frustrated and short tempered with my dds which adds to the feeling of guilt.
I have seen the GP who prescribed me sertraline but this seemed to make my thoughts worse to the point where I was checking how strong the ceiling was in the changing rooms at work….
I have spoke to a solicitor to get boundaries in place but I don’t know how I’ll afford the appointment.
I am not entitled to help from the government as on paper I earn enough, it just doesn’t stretch far enough either child care bills etc.
I feel like I can’t cope and don’t know what to do.