Struggling to accept my marriage is over after talking too much

[Hippychickbbbb]

Can’t except marriage is over! I’m really shocked and devastated he ended the marriage, he said I talked about my feelings too much and it wasn’t working ,Please don’t judge me for talking about talking about my feelings too much I couldn’t help it I was very emotional when I’m very upset I talk a lot about my feelings feelings it who I am I understand it was draining for him I deeply regret going on so much! I was feeling extremely emotional as I’d come off my antidepressants and lowered my antipsychotic this was a huge mistake I’ve since upped the dose of antipsychotic medication and gone on antidepressants but I still talk about things a lot I hate myself I wish I didn’t do this ,

I am very sorry you are distressed.
I remember your previous threads and the theme comes up a lot.
I wish I had some advice for you.
I do hope the change in medication helps, but I do remember you have been having marriage issues for some time.
Hope you feel better soon.

I've just looked at your previous threads OP - I remember some of them. They are very distressing to read.

What cones over is what a nasty bully this man is. He seems to delight in diminishing you. He doesn't want to hear about, let alone acknowledge your feelings. He has done things like shut the door in your face, told you he thinks you should kill yourself, threaten to take your child from you. That's what I have picked up on from just skim reading your multiple threads. And I know that is just the tip of the ice berg

You say your self esteem is non existent and indeed that's what comes over in your post here.

Tbh if your marriage is over it sounds as though that would realky be the best outcome for you. I am sure your mental health would improve immensely without his negative affect on you.

I'm just so sorry you are going through such mental anguish

I will need supported living as he would have my child she wants to live with him he said I can't have my child as I was sesioned and I have learning difficulties and the family worker isn't allowing me to be alone with my child my marriage was dead for two years, when I had severe allergies he rolled his eyes and got cross with me , he said I was hard to love because of my allergies, when I cried my eyes out he said I was mental, he said I was annoying I fall over he

said he was sick of my trauma I kept talking when they told me to stop him and my daughter he said that's why he ended the marriage. I feel really bad I found it hard to stop talking as I was so distressed I can't forget and forgive myself, I try very hard to not go on so much now but he still calls me a nightmare a pain in the ass difficult ,

he said he didn't want to live with me anymore he said I was the most miserable person he's ever known, I said repeated words made vocal sounds moved my body frantically This was cause of strong medication and stress he said I traumatised him he wouldn't have sex with me he said he didn't have any romantic feelings for me since I told a friend he was being abusive and she told someone and they told him, I wish I hadn't told that friend he was being abusive ! I hate her for going to someone else, him and her are still friends he said he wasn't being abusive.

I'm left very upset broken and traumatised I phone the samaritans up alot , I couldn't cope or manage my medication by myself the isolation of living alone would kill me I would be extremely distressed, I need to live with other people, I wish so much I hadn't gone on about things after they told me to stop, how do I forgive myself? I can't I'm obese with a huge double chin and huge belly he said I'm too big he likes skinny girls!!! I've tried to lose weight, I go to the gym cut back on alcohol never eat chocolate, rarely , my mum said I should keep busy I try I'm mentally distressed all the time , when I got taken away and put in a van for breaking a door accidently and having bad vocal ticks this traumatised me so much! He said he won't miss that ,I said I was distressed he said your always distressed! A vain popped in my leg and my feet turned black they said at ane it was dirt it wasn't dirt I wasn't anywhere near dirt I was in the bathroom when they turned black they at the home treat team said it was delusion s they forced fed me antipsychotics

You don’t sound in a good place at all and it’s clear you need support.
I know it’s hard to stop listening to this man, but his opinions are causing you more harm than anything else in your life.
Without him you can heal a bit. Supported living with mental health support is key.
You are clearly traumatised from being sectioned.
Even though your words here may seem a bit jumbled I totally understand them. It’s being so anxious means you constantly feel you have to defend yourself against attack.
You don’t have to.
Your daughter is in the care of her other parent which is the best place right now.
You need to get well, lovely.
As for going on about things, try to go easy on yourself about this as it’s a theme in your threads.
Forgive yourself for being human and having been through a terrible, terrible time.
You seem to have a decent relationship with your mum. Keep that going.
Don’t worry about your weight for now.
Getting to a healthy and more stable place matters most. I’m not a doctor so can’t give advice on that but as another human being I can say, you sound like you need some compassion.
So go gently on yourself this evening, I think you sound like a very decent lady who has been through a lot. You haven’t done anything wrong, so if you can’t be kind for yourself tonight be kind to yourself for me, a stranger on Mumsnet.

He's had a go at me he heard me talk to the samaritans he said I was sighing all day he's had enough

Was this recently?
I think your marriage started to end a couple of years ago?
It is just his opinion.

You need to seek rl mental health help OP. You post here repeatedly. Often not making tense. Obsessing and repeating the same details. You’re not well.
Your marriage is clearly over. You need to focus on you and moving forward.

Sorry for the jumped post I don't mean to repeat myself I never expected him to end the marriage I'm so traumatised by this he said he also ended the marriage as I saw jenny again she called him a nassasist twice I told jenny he grabbed me and pushed me out the tent I wasn't thinking I put a brick threw the window as I was locked out and didn't have enough money for a locksmith he drove of with my daughter after jenny called him a nassarsist

I don't think anyone here on Mumsnet can help you op. I think mnhq should delete in all honesty

I agree. This person posts the exact same thread regularly. She is not in a place where she can accept help from MN at the moment.

To reiterate what quite a few posters have said in the past, you need professional help OP.

Mumsnet seems to do nothing helpful for you

Evening, OP. It sounds like you have been doing the right thing seeking help IRL, but we thought we would share the link to our Mental Health webguide in case it's useful: https://www.mumsnet.com/webguide/mental-health.

We'll move your thread to our Mental Health board now.
We hope things get better for you soon.

I'm traumatised by the end of my marriage married for 15 years I can't see a way forward

It has been a long time since it ended based on your previous threads.

Have you spoken to anyone in real life? What do you think would help you the most at the moment?

Speak to your GP for RL MH help. Posting on MN clearly isn’t helping you.

I feel so much for this poor lady. She’s clearly very distressed. This has clearly been going on for some time and it’s clear she needs mental health support over and above medication.

Can’t believe he ended the marriage I’m still in shock i upset my daughter by carrying on about my feelings so much why couldn’t I just stop I hate myself I just remember having so much to say and being so wond up that it was hard to stop talking

OP, I would really like to help you, but kindly, it would be good if you could answer our questions. Have you spoken to anyone in real life about how you are feeling? What do you think would help you the most at the moment?

I’ve got a councillor

Did your counsellor have any insight into what you are experiencing? Did s/he give you any advice?

No

How do you think we can best help you? What would make things a bit easier for you at the moment?

I see from previous posts that you have been sectioned in the past and I’m wondering if you need support from the crisis team at the moment as you seem to be really struggling?

He calls me a pain in the ass difficult a nightmare I talk a lot about everything he doesn’t like it

You are just posting the same thing over and over for years and don’t respond to other posters.