Suspended from work after serious mistake and struggling to see a way forward

[DeepDarkBlack]

Made a massive error at work, I’ve been suspended and awaiting disciplinary meeting. I think I’m gonna be dismissed for gross misconduct. I can’t see a way back from this. There’s no way forward. I don’t know how we will cope without my wage but equally can’t see a way in which I can ever return to my previous type of work. Any one experienced similar and things got better?

Yes, it was directly related to my disability I think. Well, I’m autistic and I had a meltdown - I’ve never had a meltdown at work or even in public before. I was extremely stressed and overwhelmed, and didn’t understand the conversation, it was about capability and me not being good enough due to being autistic.

I am autistic so it could well be burnout, I feel traumatised.

Don't worry about back to work yet... what ever happened you are feeling stressed anxious and overwhelmed at the moment and are too sick to.work atm anyway. I have been there ( but I admit not the gross misconduct, but did have a melt down at work and got sent home on sickness for MH ). You will feel up to.work when you are better , trust in that. And focus now on getting through each day or each moment. Can you get a sick note from your Dr even though you are suspended? That will show that what ever happened was part of the MH issues. Also please be kind to yourself autistic minds can really go into panic spiral mode with things like this. Reach out to people if you can in RL too. But you will feel able to work again when you are better.

So did an error trigger the capability meeting or just the meeting itself your meltdown. How long have you worked for the company?

Yes, if you haven't already, pls make a gp appt and discuss everything with them. It will be important for you to be seen in connection with this incident, as much as you may need further support if youre feeling really low about everything. Perhaps being signed off is the right thing for now, let everything settle a bit?

You are disabled. You experienced a well described and well known aspect of your condition. You deserve to recover from that episode and as you say now is not remotely a time for considering going back to work.

When you are up to it consult a lawyer and try to settle with your employer. You can negotiate a reference at that time. Things will get better.

Give yourself some time to recover. Don’t make any rash decisions yet (like resigning).

Does the employer know you are autistic? Have they made any adjustments to your work for that? They have a duty to, regardless of whether you have asked for them. And it isn’t a case of trying one or two things and then saying “you can’t do this job”.

Have you ever applied to access to work? They can assess and make recommendations for adjustments and also provide funding alongside your employer. There are all sorts of things that can be done, even having an assistant at work, but including use of technology, being given instructions in different formats, quiet spaces, special work spaces that are more sensory sensitive to you.

How did the meeting go? How are you feeling now?

I’ve been in contact with the Union who are happy to represent me. Not had the formal meeting at work yet.

Feel pretty low and anxious still but I guess that’s to be expected

@DeepDarkBlack

Any understanding work place who have been informed about your mental health struggles will want to support you and see you get better.

You’re not just some asshole who flew off the handle, you weren’t well.

Try not to think that you’re going to be told off like some naughty school kid because that won’t be the case.

I’m glad to hear that the union are representing you. Hope that things go better than you are expecting