Hi Everyone, for avoidance of doubt, I am a bloke but here for some advice, help or simply people to talk to.
I have suffered on and off with suicidal ideations for years. These are usually triggered by crappy work situations (overwork etc…). I’ve been working since I was 13 years old, then it was for survival and now, at 40, in a position most would consider “doing well”. More recently I quelled the ideations by making a change in job, due to politics and that bought me a few months to decompress slightly. As it turned out the place I have joined is terrible. As such the suicidal thoughts have returned and I am certain I am depressed. More than this, I have two young children, 7 and 2 and whilst I haven’t actually gone through with anything in terms of self harm, I’d say in the past I have come close.
I am looking for another job. I know this might be a sticking plaster but for those who might have seen my other thread, there are legitimate concerns about the place I am at.
I feel worn out. Tired. I almost feel like I just want to take a break from work for 3-6months. It won’t be possible to do so at my current workplace (as I am within a probationary period), it would have to be an exit. However, I’m what you would classify as a HENRY (High Earning Not Rich Yet) and only have around £50k in savings, with a £2.7k mortgage and over £2k in childcare costs. My wife does work although she earns less than me and I don’t know whether the lack of a pay check would stress me out.
So, with all this rambling what is my ask of you:
- Advice - take the break, see a doctor, leave my current (new within probation) employer. All the above.
- if I voluntarily leave my work place, does that impact my entitlement to benefits? And what benefits might I be entitled to given mine is not the only household income. For context, I’ve never claimed a benefit personally in my life so I don’t know much about how I might get. I know it won’t be much versus the £100s of thousands of pounds I have paid in direct taxes but I will leave the politics at the door.
- I guess I just need someone to talk to (even over the internet). I can’t talk to my wife, she doesn’t understand when I have raised things in the past and I feel alone.