Feeling broken

[Lunalara]

Hi everyone,

I am starting to think that life just isn’t worth it for me. I went from thinking that I had everything to feeling like I have just been taken advantage of in my long term relationship. After the things he said and refusing to talk about marriage after nearly 5 years, I wonder whether a happy ending is possible for me. I used to be so full of excitement for life, expecting marriage and love to just happen for me. But now I am faced with the possibility of having to grieve any future I thought I had, because he has done things that I am starting to question.

It’s clear that I have nothing to look forward to in life and that the best years of my life are gone. I have other big worries and stresses that have happened, and I am wondering now if trying to get through each day is even worth it for someone who is feeling so broken.

I am sorry I am so depressed. I have tried to live a satisfying life, but all life has taught me is that trying never got me anywhere and that I end up with heaps of trauma just the same. I just want someone to talk me out of this mindset, but if literally nothing is going well, I don’t understand why fighting to stay happy is worth it.

I’m really glad you posted, even if it feels hard and exposing to say this out loud. What you’re describing sounds incredibly painful, and it makes complete sense that you feel shaken and hopeless right now. Having the future you thought you were building suddenly feel uncertain or taken away is a real grief, not a small thing and not something you should just be able to brush off.

Please know this though. Feeling like the best years are gone does not mean they actually are. It usually means you’re in shock and deep sadness after a big emotional blow. When trust and expectations are damaged, everything else in life can start to look pointless, even parts that once mattered to you. That doesn’t mean your life has no value or that nothing good can still happen. It means you are hurting.

Five years invested is not wasted time. It shows you are capable of commitment, love, and hope. Those things didn’t disappear just because this relationship has hurt you. They are still part of who you are, even if you can’t feel them right now.

You are not weak for feeling broken, and you are not failing at life because things have gone wrong despite trying. Trauma can pile up and exhaust even the strongest people. Sometimes the bravest thing is not staying positive but staying here and asking for help, which you have done.

You don’t have to decide the worth of your whole future while you are in this much pain. Right now, the goal can simply be getting through today and letting someone support you. If these thoughts about life not being worth it are feeling heavy or persistent, you really deserve proper support, not just internet replies. Talking to your GP, a therapist, or a support line could make a real difference. In the UK, Samaritans are available 24/7 on 116 123 and you don’t have to be at breaking point to call.

Even if it doesn’t feel believable, this moment does not define the rest of your life. Many people who felt exactly as you do now later look back and realise this was the turning point that led them somewhere kinder and more aligned with who they truly are.

You matter, and your life matters, even when it hurts this much. Please keep talking and don’t carry this alone.

I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. Sending you a hug.
I’ve felt like this many times too, that sense that nothing really makes sense. I’ve had therapy and it has always helped me, although life can be very hard at times and it can feel like there are no clear answers.

I don’t know how old you are, but hormones can really throw us off balance, so it might be worth checking your general health with some basic tests.

It could also be helpful to look for therapy where you can say everything and be listened to without judgement and you almost always take something positive away from those sessions.

Stay strong, and remember that when things shift or fall apart, it’s often because new things and new people are going to come into your life. Sometimes we all need a reset.😘

My boyfriend has just sent me a message of me being lazy for being depressed. He blames me for all the wrong that has gone on in my life and he says that I am dragging him down too. It’s too much for me right now.

Evening.
We're just bobbing on here to say that we're so sorry to hear you're going through this, OP.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged to us we like to link to our web-guides, which we hope may be helpful. If you'd like to, please do feel free to take a look at our Mental Health page.
Very best wishes from all at MNHQ

It’s my fault the relationship is breaking down. I am clearly not good enough for happy things in this life.

I am to blame for my boyfriend getting upset at me.

I think you need to talk to someone independent such as a therapist. It sounds like your BF is gaslighting you if he is making you feel that you are responsible for all the issues in your relationship.
It doesn’t feel like it now but it might be a lucky escape from a partner who is kicking you when you are down rather than giving you support.