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Original poster

Eupd am I the problem

31 replies

feelingbleh · 14/06/2025 10:34

I'm really struggling right now to understand whether I'm this horrible awful person or if I'm being gaslit left right and centre. Stuff happens all the time but because of the way I react I end up being the person in the wrong and what's done to me seems to be forgotten. I genuinely don't think im in the wrong a lot of the time but its always me that ends up apologising, nobody ever apologises to me. I'm just so confused about who I am and if im the problem.

OP posts:
PandyMoanyMum · 14/06/2025 18:05

feelingbleh · 14/06/2025 17:55

I struggle with empathy it doesn't come naturally I don't like it if someone shouts at me

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Yeah, it’s not a nice feeling to have someone angry with you, is it? And it doesn’t make you want to help them out either, right?

It really feels like some communication training could help you in how to explain when there is a problem so that you are perceived as assertive but not aggressive. I sometimes watch videos on instagram - there’s a chap called Jefferson Fisher who I like. Maybe you could try that while you wait for your course. The course will hopefully help you stay calm, but I have found Jefferson has ideas for “the script” to use.

IdiottoGoa · 14/06/2025 18:05

feelingbleh · 14/06/2025 16:42

My medical records are full of how difficult/challenging and complex i am which i sometimes think is what causes so many issues as it changes the way people approach me. I think aswell because I cry really easily I find it hard to explain clearly what im trying to say and I don't always make sense.

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I think I’ve not been clear / you’ve not understood me.

What I’m saying is that it’s not the fact that you’re apologizing which is making people perceive you in this way.

It’s that you’re coming at everything as if it needs to be a fight, or it’s black and white. From everything you’ve said, the other thing is that your emotions are not under control so you easily lose it and that makes you come across as difficult and challenging

Original poster
feelingbleh · 14/06/2025 18:27

PandyMoanyMum · 14/06/2025 18:05

Yeah, it’s not a nice feeling to have someone angry with you, is it? And it doesn’t make you want to help them out either, right?

It really feels like some communication training could help you in how to explain when there is a problem so that you are perceived as assertive but not aggressive. I sometimes watch videos on instagram - there’s a chap called Jefferson Fisher who I like. Maybe you could try that while you wait for your course. The course will hopefully help you stay calm, but I have found Jefferson has ideas for “the script” to use.

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Thankyou il have a look

OP posts:
Original poster
feelingbleh · 14/06/2025 18:32

IdiottoGoa · 14/06/2025 18:05

I think I’ve not been clear / you’ve not understood me.

What I’m saying is that it’s not the fact that you’re apologizing which is making people perceive you in this way.

It’s that you’re coming at everything as if it needs to be a fight, or it’s black and white. From everything you’ve said, the other thing is that your emotions are not under control so you easily lose it and that makes you come across as difficult and challenging

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The thing is I don't know how else to handle these situations to make people actually to listen to what im saying and for them to understand that they are wrong

OP posts:
IdiottoGoa · 14/06/2025 18:48

That’s your EUPD talking. For most of us, the primary goal isn’t to prove they’re wrong but to find a solution to the issue. Starting from a point of wanting to prove they’re wrong and you’re right is largely only ever going to end in conflict. I win / you lose - it’s an aggressive form of communication. I win / you win is more assertive and less likely to end up in conflict.

You’ll learn all this in the skills training stuff, but ultimately that’s it. So going back to your original question it’s your EUPD which is the problem.

Original poster
feelingbleh · 14/06/2025 18:58

IdiottoGoa · 14/06/2025 18:48

That’s your EUPD talking. For most of us, the primary goal isn’t to prove they’re wrong but to find a solution to the issue. Starting from a point of wanting to prove they’re wrong and you’re right is largely only ever going to end in conflict. I win / you lose - it’s an aggressive form of communication. I win / you win is more assertive and less likely to end up in conflict.

You’ll learn all this in the skills training stuff, but ultimately that’s it. So going back to your original question it’s your EUPD which is the problem.

Yep eupd sucks 🙈

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