I have just had yet another failed attempt at coming off sertraline, having been on them for 3 years and feel completely at a loss with what to do.
I know it all stems from my childhood. Too much to write but two alcoholic parents, years of physical and mental abuse, neglect, a stint in a women’s refuge with my mum to just come out and her repeat the cycle. Two adults that were meant to keep me safe but basically did the exact opposite and refuse to acknowledge or apologise.
I thought I actually grew into a well rounded adult. A successful career, a lovely husband, a great life. I had DD and the postnatal depression hit me like a train - it was like the world’s biggest trigger.
And now, what? I can’t cope without being on antidepressants. Can I ever fix this? I have been in and out of therapy, never really finding that ‘closure’. Will I ever find it? Will it be with me until my parents pass away? Will it even go away then? I thought I was coping until I had DD and it’s like I can’t patch the cracks anymore. I’m so upset and angry, disappointed I can’t cope without medication.
Is there a future where this doesn’t all feel so shit?