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Mental health

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Original poster

IS IT POSSIBLE TO FEEL DEPRESSED SOME OF THE TIME?

28 replies

Dalrymps · 19/05/2008 10:20

I feel ok sometimes but when I feel low I have worrying thoughts, for instance, today I was just brushing my teeth when the thought 'maybe I could just kill myself' popped into my head, and for those few seconds it seemed like an ok idea?! I don't know where it came from... I leep getting thoughts like that. But then sometimes I feel ok and am able to laugh when funny things happen etc...
I thought if you had pnd you would feel depressed all the time and not find enjoyment in anything but thats not the case with me. It's almost like I keep swinging between happyness and despair.
Anyone had anything like this? I feel like i'm a going mad

OP posts:

charliecat · 19/05/2008 10:22

I feel exactly the same

Original poster

Dalrymps · 19/05/2008 10:56

oh charlicat , how long you felt lke this? I'm not sure, just seems to have gradually crept up on me... You seen the doc about it? Any idea if it is pnd?

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Tortington · 19/05/2008 10:59

i don't think its freaky. i think like this a lot

charliecat · 19/05/2008 11:01

Mine is not PND, my dds are 7 and 10 Its crept up on me in last year...splitting up with XP, stress etc.
I havn't been to the doctor because when I do feel ok, its MY ok, its not pill induced. And I cling to that. Do you know what I mean? And the fact that the mad thoughts are short enough and the norml me is the bigger bit of me...
How long have you been feeling like it and what age are your children?
It does feel like your going mad doesn't it though. And the normalness when you arent having odd thoughts..its weird.

solo · 19/05/2008 11:03

I did too, but have been in a better frame of mind since January, but it took a good deal of talking to myself and reasoning. See your GP and ask for some help. It's so hard to deal with life sometimes, but you aren't alone, you have us here.

SirDigbyChickenCaesar · 19/05/2008 11:04

you've just described how i feel perfectly.
mostly i''m ok but then...

you know how sharks have to keep moving or else they drown? it's like that. as long as i keep going and don't hitnk about it, i'm ok.

Original poster

Dalrymps · 19/05/2008 11:04

Been feeling like this on and off over last few months I think... Ds is 6 and a half months old, he's my 1st.

OP posts:

doggiesayswoof · 19/05/2008 11:05

Yes. You could still have pnd even though you feel ok some of the time.

FWIW I had pnd and didn't go to GP because I felt ok sometimes, and I ended up in quite a bad way. I should have got it diagnosed earlier.

Maybe think about going to see GP (or health visitor if you have a good one). there is a questionnaire they can do and some of the questions are about how often you feel down and how often you feel normal. they use it to judge whether you are clinically depressed and, if so, how seriously.

charliecat · 19/05/2008 11:07

I dont think a trip to the doctor, or HV could hurt.
Mine circumstance...us all feeling like it doesnt make it right you know

Original poster

Dalrymps · 19/05/2008 11:07

SirDigbyChickenCaesar - yes, the shark thing is how I feel, like I have to constantly work to keep above it, like if I stop i'll just sink in to the despair and might not get out!

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doggiesayswoof · 19/05/2008 11:07

Oh yes also meant to say you are not committing yourself to going on medication just because you see a doctor. It's only the first step and it's totally up to you what to do next.

Divastrop · 19/05/2008 11:10

i am still on ad's for PND.my baby is 14.5 months now,and i feel like this.i think in the beginning i was going through cycles of irritable,paranoid,angry,depressed.now i am ok most of the time,but like you i get the odd strange tought come into my head.i am having group therapy at the moment which is helping with keeping my thoughts under control.

i have been keeping a PMT diary for 10 months now,and i can often see a pattern where my moods/thoughts are related to my hormones.has your af returned yet?

i do like the shark metaphor,i can relate to that.

doggiesayswoof · 19/05/2008 11:12

here

The Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale

I think they asked me other questions too, but I remember filling this in. It asks how you have felt over the past week

Original poster

Dalrymps · 19/05/2008 11:13

Wish I could see the hv but don't really like her, she's constantly hounding me about ds's weight gain (long story, he gains slowly and eats normal amounts but getting him to take more is impossible, anyway we're going to see a baby doctor about him soon). Just don't feel she's approachable... She always asks if i'm ok but I just say 'i'm fine'.
Maybe could see the doc but she's not a lot better, a bit stand off ish iykwim.
Worried a bit cause once, when I was a lot younger and at uni I felt down and went to the docs and when I told him he just said 'what makes you think you're depressed?' I couldn't really answer, just knew I didnt feel myself, anyway, he just signed me off work for about 8 weeks and I started to feel ok again but he wasn't very helpful. Worried my doc will think i'm not that bad if I feel ok. Maybe not though, maybe she'll do the test thing on me to see if I am?

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Divastrop · 19/05/2008 11:14

do you mean this questionaire,doggies?

Divastrop · 19/05/2008 11:14

sorry,x posts there

Original poster

Dalrymps · 19/05/2008 11:20

My af has been back twice, just on the 5th day of my 2nd one today. Maybe it is worse when I get my af?

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Original poster

Dalrymps · 19/05/2008 11:33

I've read through the edinburgh scale questions, it's hard to answer as I find it difficult to remember how I felt before. I can answer that I feel sad and like harming myself (well, the suicidal thoughts), I haven't had difficulty sleeping, am tired from looking after ds so sleep right through. I don't feel all things are getting on top of me, wel, I can look after ds but the housework is kind of being left, don't have the energy for that. The question about feeling scared and panicky, felt like this a lot in the early days but not really anymore.
Not sure about the other ones, my mind feels so foggy, do I look forward to things with enjoyment like I used to? not sure, can't think of an example...
I can laugh and see the funny side of things sometimes. I think I blame myslef when thigs go wrong but again, can't think of an example right now. Not sure if I feel anxious or worried for no good reason?
I think I feel very confused!

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doggiesayswoof · 19/05/2008 11:38

Sounds like you need to talk to someone - a professional, not just us on here!

It's a shame your HV and GP are not approachable. I'd still try the GP maybe? I didn't want to talk to my HV either, as my relationship with her was not great (also weight gain issues with dd strangely enough) but I'm quite lucky in that my GP was easy to talk to.

that's a pity about your previous experience too - doesn't sound like you were treated very sympathetically.

iwillNOTletthisbeatme · 19/05/2008 11:40

ive just answered those questions.im a bit worried now.

Original poster

Dalrymps · 19/05/2008 11:41

Think I do need to talk to someone, it's just so hard as I feel like i'll be admitting something I don't want to be true.

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doggiesayswoof · 19/05/2008 11:48

Dalrymps I know exactly what you mean about not wanting it to be true.

IME though it is far far better to face up to it and start on the path to getting back to normal. I don't want to diagnose you (especially since I'm not a doctor or anything ), but it doesn't sound like you have serious depression. If you did, your answers to the questions would be much more clear cut I think.

doggiesayswoof · 19/05/2008 11:50

Oh dear IwillNOT, I'm sorry, I didn't want to worry anyone by posting link to questions

Original poster

Dalrymps · 19/05/2008 11:51

Yes, I don't think I have serious depression either. Thats why I just keep hoping it'll go away and i'll be back to my old self...
Do you think if I left it, it could get worse? Maybe i'm not that bad,ust don't know.

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doggiesayswoof · 19/05/2008 12:05

I left it, and it got worse.

Not saying the same thing will happen to you, but be careful. It was so gradual with me. After a few months I'd totally forgotten what "normal" was for me and it took a sort of breakdown for me to realise I needed help. I literally couldn't get out of bed or stop crying. (I was back at work by this time, and I had to phone in sick, and weirdly that was the thing that made me take it seriously)

Even dh didn't realise what was happening up to that point, because the changes in my personality happened so gradually.

Don't want to give you a scare story but honestly I would not just leave it.

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