Referred back to MH - psychosis

[Orangesandlemons77]

My diagnosis is recurrent psychotic depression. Just been referred back to the MH team and should see them within a week for an assessment.

I'm dreading it, I don't feel I trust them but I guess that is part of it? Feeling watched and followed, and that messages on the radio and instagram are specifically for me.

is anyone else going through anything similar? I feel so alone and family don't want to hear it.

I also have two teenage sons, a husband who works a lot and elderly parents with dementia. Everyone has their own stuff and doesn't want to hear.

I feel like a burden to everyone and low. I wish I was just normal. they are increasing my olanzapine so will go out and get that later.

I'm sorry you are feeling so low op.

Take all the help you are offered-the MH team are on your side and want to help you get well.

You are doing the right things, getting help, meds etc.

Try and focus on the here and now and not on what's up ahead. Do something you know you enjoy, however small and insignificant it may feel. When I was at my most poorly I used to treat myself with a nap.

I've been where you are and I just had to trust the MH team and believe I would feel better with their help. I got my meds changed and, while it took a long while, I'm now back to my normal!

You can do this I promise.

I am so sorry you are going through this, but really good sign that you recognise that you need MH Team and remember that they are there to help you.
I don't have same illness but trying to support my DD26. Her psychosis has stopped with 15mg olanzapine but she still believes that being drugged and followed did actually happen though is not happening now.
Please remember that you are not a burden, you have gotten well before and will get well again.

Apologies I don't want to hijack your thread
Best wishes to you.

No, that's fine, don't worry. Thanks and glad your daughter is OK now

Thanks for the messages, it helps! I don't share a lot with my family as it worries them.

Well, spoken to the GP after a message this morning who urgently referred to the liaison service place who then rang me. I missed that but they will call back tomorrow.

I'm kind of wishing I had not done anything now as I don't want to talk to them, to be 'assessed' or go to the hospital where they are based. But the GP said I did the right thing calling them.

The GP said to increase the olanzapine so will do that this evening. It is quite sedating and also causes food cravings so hope that doesn't happen too much.

I have found a nice playlist of 'calm songs' on Spotify which is helpful. Asked DH to pick up some milk because it felt like I was being watched and recorded on their self scan screens earlier :-( silly I know.

Sorry that this is happening to you OP.
I am not currently struggling but last summer I had post partum psychosis (I have had episodes before as well as I have bipolar). I also take olanzapine as well as 2 other drugs.

It's so very hard to describe to someone who has never experienced it before. I understand those terrifying feeling all to well. It's good that you are getting a medication increase to help, I hope it works for you. It's very good that you have insight or partial insight.

Feel free to pm me if you like.

Thanks Mousse sorry to hear you have had it too. I mentioned it to DH this evening, the watching but he said he 'doesn't believe' me so I will not mention it again. I have had this before, it makes him cross that I think it, which is not helpful.

I guess it is very difficult for others to understand.

I have not managed to get to the pharmacy for the tablets for 7.5mg so will take an extra 5mg to bring it to 10mg olanzapine tonight maybe that will help. Then speak to the liaison team in the morning. Maybe they will understand, although I am dreading talking to them, especially if DH is around. I will just take it in the other room perhaps.

The GP also told me to contact Talking therapies and they rang today to book me in for an assessment, I think this is not for me though, more general worries? It's not until April anyway. They rang back and booked me in. At least for initial appts, m they seem quite fast to reply to people.

I’m sorry that your husband isn’t supporting you. It must be very hard to not be believed and frankly I think he’s awful for saying that.

Of course, it’s normal for him to know you are not being watched (you are not). But he should be able to acknowledge that you feel as though you are being watched and that it’s very scary.

Well done for contacting the GP. Please go through with the assessment.

He struggles with it, to be honest. Thanks for the message. I think they should be phoning me today.

I think it scares him, which then makes me feel worse. He is supportive in other ways though. It might help to have someone to talk to at the mental health place. Or at least the higher dose of meds might help.

I don't actually want to see them really but the GP won't increase my olanzapine without seeing them so there is no choice really.

The GP told me to refer to talking therapies also but not sure how much help they will be.

Talking therapy will be good, as they can help you discuss your concerns out loud and help you reframe your thinking on those paranoia fueled thoughts.

Speaking to the MH team is important as you clearly need help and an increase in medication.

Both therapies are there to help you, so please do engage.

As for DH, it must be very hard as he knows you're not being watched (your not) but I imagine no amount of him telling you that will change your mind because you are in the throes of psychosis. I can only imagine the frustration he feels. That said, you still need him to be supportive and I hope he will be.

Yes I just hope the talking therapies is ok with me and doesn't refute me due to my illness.

A man from the liaison place rang and they are going to discuss me with a psych and see if can increase my meds or if they need to see me, they might just be able to ring the GP and discuss it with them.

*refuse

They booked me in for the assessment for the talking therapies first week of next month so not too far. Its all been quite quick, I only spoke to the gp yesterday.

Managed to get out to the swimming pool, but thought people were whispering about me and laughing :-(

Got an appt through for the MH place at the hospital also first week of April so just need to keep going until then I guess.

The GP said they were doing to ring me back again next week to see how things are going as well.

Well done for making it to the pool.

Honestly, I don’t think people in this world really care that much about others, only themselves and what they are doing at the time, so I doubt they gave you a second glance.

I’d be acknowledging the thought but then telling myself ‘they are too busy to give a toss about me and I don’t care what they think anyway as their opinions are unimportant to me’. And cracking on with whatever it is I wanted to do. I wouldn’t let someone else spoil my day. I deserve better and so do you.

A wise woman told me to treat my inner fears like a little child. Reassure and use facts to settle them down. Perhaps that might help with the radio and tv fears too?

Listen to your fear that the ad is directed at you to for example buy a new car, and think ‘it’s ok it’s clever advertising I’m not going to buy a new car so it’s ok i can forget about the advert now and do what I was doing’ and go about your life. Thinking to your inner child calmly and sensibly. Not angry. Children ask questions and need answers. Provide the common sense answers and accept them and go about your day. I figure it’s ok to ask questions. Why subdue then when you can answer them easily.

I will try, I do try mindfulness etc and the Calm app. It is hard because things sort of link together and it becomes part of something bigger, it is hard to explain.

I took the new olanzapine last night and it was an orodispersable one (melts in the mouth) not sure if this was a mistake in the prescription or not but I think it helped a bit as felt calmer shortly after.

I think melt in the mouth medicines work quicker as they don’t go via your stomach they go straight into your bloodstream via your mouth tissue.

Sorry you are unwell, you write so eloquently for someone in psychosis

Thanks, I am feeling like I shouldn't need the appt, others might need it more but anyway. Took 10mg last night so maybe it is helping me feel a but better. Quite sleepy with it, and think it is making me crave chocolate :-(

Ah, that makes sense. I have a bowel problem also. Maybe I will ask to keep this new type.

Being honest, I'm a sarcastic bitch really