I have struggled with my mental health my whole life but have somehow managed to raise 4 healthy children with my second husband. He now has early onset Dementia and the 2 boys who still live at home are planning to move out. We can’t afford to live here without their contributions but I can’t keep them here. They deserve their own lives. My two daughters are busy and somewhat distant although thriving. I’m 64 now and although I am well regarded and have a doctorate my health has not enabled us to set ourselves up well for a retirement. I had a conversation with my youngest son last night where he stated that he has never been able to leave home as he thought I wouldn’t cope. It made me feel terrible. I know the state will care for my husband - we are in the U.K. and I know the children especially my daughters will care for him as they seem to prefer his situation to mine. I have a plan to end it all. But don’t want to leave guilt behind. There is enough insurance money to enable a funeral for me and some to keep him going for a bit. Writing this down has given me some peace and determination that my not being here anymore is the best option to set them all free.m