feeling apprehensive, got a doctors appointment on tuesday

[jingleyjen]

I know I need to be honest with her in order to get the help I need but am really worried that if I tell her how desperate I have got that she will involve social services.

My kids are really in no danger at all I would never hurt them, but I guess they do have a mother with ishoos that need sorting out.

does anyone know what will happen process wise when I see the GP this week?

I am fearfull that I will get in there and talk to her about something else so that I can avoid this topic.

be honest.be totally honest.i skirted round a few questions which i dont think have helped me tbh.if you want to talk about anything i am happy to listen?
j is asleep in his buggy so ive got time!does anyone else feel like all thier child does is sleep

It might help to write down what you want to say, and then read it out to the doctor.

Be as honest as you can, in order to give a true picture of how you're feeling.

Writing it down will make it less likely that you'll avoid the topic.

I hope the appointment goes well, and you are soon feeling much better.

do you think if I write it down I could also write what I would like to happen, as I feel like I will be encourgaed to try meds. DONT want to do that I am not depressed.
I think that I will be embarrassed and just accept what is offered then get home and be upset that I have wasted time again.

just write down whatever is in your head.honestly it does actually help.you might find you write it a few times until your 'happy' with it.you cant be forced to have ads.and if it is being encouraged why dont you take them just so you know you have something?it doesnt mean you have to take them.
(((hug)))

thanks.
Do I have to go into detail with her about the cause of my ishoos or can I skirt over them but be firm on the fact that I need professional help?
Not sure I am ready to talk to her about all my baggage, also knowing that there will be a waiting room full of people needing her time I will feel rushed.

could you book a double appointment or is it too late now?thats what i did.i really think you need to be honest.she needs the whole picture really.oh listen to me.i can dish it out but not do it myself!

me too sweet, each time I post on your thread about you being strong - it is so silly as I have been sat here writing letter saying goodbye to my boys on the laptop in between posting.

oh fuck jen please dont do that!!
please come on msn!

please let me help you x

I really think I won't but that is today..
don't worry about me.
last week I talked open and honestly to my sister and she was amazing, but I KNOW I need help.

can you do msn.im really worried about you now x

please please don't worry I don't feel like that today, I can't put msn on my laptop (it is too decrepid)
I just mainly worry that if I am TOTALLY honest with the GP that she will faff about the safety of the boys and I would never do anything to them

ok.well you need to be firm about that with her then.see i know that when i was asked that question i wasnt honest.if i tell you how i feel do you think it would help you not feel so alone?

Your GP would be failing if she did not try to reassure herself that your boys are well cared for - expect questions and answer tham honestly.

I agree with Humphreycushion that you should write down what you need to say and say it.

Even if you get a prescription for antidepressants, it's up to you whether or not you take them.

If it's therapy you need, be clear about why it's so important and ask to be referred.

only share things that you want to share.
I just know that the events that took place along time ago have affected almost everything I have done since. it has been a distructive force in my life, I need to be re-programmed (for want of a better phrase)
good things don't happen to me and when they do something within me brings about their downfall as internally I just know I am not worth good stuff.
what makes me so sad at the moment is that things are going so well with Dh and the boys that I just know I am in distruction mode.. my less rational moments mean that I know I need to get out of my boys life before I mess them up. and I know I couldn't live on this earth and no be with them.

ok.i dont think me telling you will help then.but what i do think is that you need to talk all the things through which are in your head even if you think they sound odd for want of a better word?if i can do this jen then i am sure you can.we could hold eachothers hands?? xxxx

I will be thinking of you tomorrow..
you are an amazing woman, dealing with all this now is so much better than hiding from it for alot of years... even though it is hard.
Is your little man still asleep?

im not really that amazing jen.i hide alot.pretend things are ok when i know they arent.dont speak the whole truth of how i feel half the time.need i go on!but i guess thats what a lot of people do?
he is still sleeping but ill have to wake him shortly or tonight will be an issue again
so what are you going to do with the rest of your day?
xx

thanks ruby. I have taken guidance as to which gp to see so hopefully it shouldn't be too bad. I am just in a wibble about it all.

thanks hon...

Ruby directed me here

Sorry things are difficult for you at the moment Jen.

FWIW - you sound like you know exactly what you need and that is professional counselling - is that right? If so, then you can tell the GP that and go into the basics but not the detail. If you dont want ADs then tell them that as well.

Take care.

sorry things arent going well at the mo.
i would suggest that you talk to doctor honestly, and firmly say you do not want antidepressents. there is a waiting list here, about 6 months i beleive for getting other help. so i would be honest and see if it helps get you there any quicker iyswim.

in the meantime shout rant and let it out on here

thanks ladies..
whats hard is that in comparison to the lives of others, I have no problems at all.. It just really scares me to think that a huge part of me can't be here