For most of my life I have never been able to get a grip on my anxiety, are some people just destined to suffer all their lives?

[Normansglasseye]

I have struggled with anxiety and anxiety related conditions (odc, panic disorder, weird thoughts etc) since I was a very small child, I am almost 52 now.

It has come in peaks and troughs but has always been lurking in the background, I have never been free of it. The last 6 years have been dreadful (perimenopause and caring for a parent with dementia certainly does not help). Over the years I have tried many, many things to help. Endless CBT sessions, very expensive hypnotherapy, seen counsellors and psychologists. I have tried EMDR, I practice breathwork, yoga, mindfulness, exercise every day and always have done, very healthy living (boringly so), sleep well etc......

I have tried various meds but they all upset my terrible IBS, which is most probably connected to the gut/brain/anxiety cycle (although I do have endometriosis and have been told it could be on my bowel). HRT hasn't helped either. I have tried lots of alternative stuff but they don't have much of an effect on me.

I just feel as though suffering from anxiety and a whole myriad of poor mental health issues is probably my destiny and after all these years I may never be free of it. I genuinely see it as some kind of disability now, something I just can not seem to free myself from.

I will add that I am currently awaiting an ADHD assessment (was advised to seek this by my psychiatrist) and not sure if I will be diagnosed or not but I do often wonder if this may have been the cause of my mental anguish for most of my life and the reason why I struggle to control it or why I go to pieces when there is too much stress in my life?

Is this something anyone else can understand? I have friends who have suffered from bouts of anxiety throughout their lives but they have always overcome them or have managed it well without it having too much of an impact to their lives but I never seem to have been able to get a tight grip on everything.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Thank you. The link isn't showing on your reply though.

The side effects from the Sertaline and Citalopram were constant diarrhoea, like 6-8 times a day and I just could not carry on like that as my job involved being out on the road and in peoples homes. It has really put me off trying any others because I have the most sensitive digestive system, everything seems to upset it.

I really wish I could find a medication that would calm this anxiety as I feel so wretched with it.

I had a lot of anxieties, ocd's and strange thoughts as a child. This did cause me a lot of anguish and confusion as I obviously could not understand my behaviour and why I was doing the things I did. I do hold some inner resentment aimed at my parents over this.

I love them dearly and it wasn't their fault, it was in the 70's and people didn't seek psychological help much back then, especially for kids but my dad would often do things which exacerbated my anxieties, not help quell them which still angers me today but there is little I can do about that because I do not have the funds for counselling etc right now.

I really feel for you, it's bloody depressing x

I really do feel for you. I only leave the house if I have to. I do very little these days. It really isn't much fun, is it? x

That's how it feels, I describe it as a inner motor which on 24/7, no amount of healthy living, exercise, meditation, hypnotherapy etc calms this down, it's running all the time and has been since I was a small child.

Hey if you have the time and energy, watch Georgia Ede on YouTube. She is an American psychiatrist who talks clearly about how diet impacts mental health. I'll post a link below or you can google.

x

If you've got endometriosis you can guarantee your anxiety comes from your hormones.

I've been anxious since I was 4/5 years old and it's evolved with my life over time. I'm medicated (started medication in my late 20s) and don't intend to come off of it

And when I say anxious I mean throwing up with anxiety, daily panic attacks, agoraphobia etc.

Yes it does lower blood pressure. I was prescribed propanolol and I do have a tendency towards low blood pressure - however I don't take it every day only in certain work or social anxiety inducing situations. Agreed with it being a game changer propanolol gets rid of the symptoms of anxiety ie racing heart, sweaty palms, dry mouth etc so I appear calm and together - what it doesn't do is address underlying negative or obsessive thought processes or childhood experiences which have led to me being so anxious...so that is something I am going to work on with a therapist

Sorry for the triple post but I was also diagnosed with ADHD in my 30s. Which to me makes total sense. I am wired very tight.

My friend has been helped by an anxiety guru. Won't mention his name as he might be a charlatan for all I know. But his thing is to just do what you enjoy every day as much as you can. Forget about meditation, hypnosis, breathing etc, which can just depress you, just get busy with what you love to do.
???

I could have written this myself. Countless therapy sessions NHS and private. Medications, meditation etc.

I was taking sertraline for years which helped a little but at 200mg. I, like you had to put up with the upset stomach and dashing to the loo.

I decided to come off them. I said to GP it's lovely I feel slight inclination to leave the house but then when I don't know where the nearest toilet is, it's not helpful!

I then caught covid and thought all was well. I went to GP again as the thoughts were awful. I was put on Citalopram which actually helped but gave me palpitations. I had an ECG and I had Prolonged QT, later on finding it was more than likely the covid.

I'm prescribed prozac now and propranolol, but I've since discovered propranolol contains lactose which seems to be my issue and I'm lactose intolerant. Getting a GP appointment is ridiculous so I've stopped everything and living around the intrusive thoughts. I can see it's getting worse but I can't decide what is worse. The constant need to go to the loo with slight relief or not dashing to the loo constantly.

It's hard work and not really a lot of advice other than to say you're not alone. 😊

When you say you eat healthily what do you mean? The modern diet (even the so called healthy diet) is very high in carbs compared to what our bodies are adapted for. Things like fine milled flour can be very irritating to the gut compared to less processed food.

I find going full keto is good for both my mood and my gut. It's less processed and naturally anti-inflamatory which can benefit chronic pain. I do wonder if the modern processes diet it part of the reason we are seeing a worsening of mental heath and Asad in particular but this is speculation based on personal experience of how much diet effects my mental health.

I have a friend who I have had similar conversations with who thought my method was too extreme (fair enough) but instead just cut refined flour out of their diet (pasta and bread) and exchanged it for rice and potatoes and claimed it helped. Another who went keto for pain relief and hormone regulation. Just an idea to consider if you haven't already.

Wanted to add meditation is not always very helpful for those with ADHD or trauma. So don't worry if this specific tool doesn't work for you.

My therapist has suggested EMDR therapy for me. Maybe worth a try?

I have often wondered if excess oestrogen is driving everything and now that I am in perimenopause it has all gone wild.

I am wired very tight

That is exactly how I would describe myself.

The gut issues that I had from the meds were simply awful, I know people say to push through but months later how are you supposed to do that as it really has an impact on your day to day life, doesn't it?

I hope you managed to find something to help, no fun is it?

I have worked with dietitians and they have advised me not to embark on very low carb diets. I have a low BMI so can not afford to lose weight and as I can not tolerate dairy, eggs and high fat and I don't eat red meat it would make this diet very restrictive for me.

I don't go overboard on carbs and eat healthy versions. I eat a healthy diet with no processed foods and only drink water.

I really don't think that food is the main culprit when it comes to my issues. I have always said that I could live off dust and still have problems.

I have tried lots of different therapies, EMDR being one of them. Sadly, it didn't help and I actually found all the tapping etc really irritating for some reason which made my agitation worse.

I find getting out in the garden helps, or just generally being outside and around nature pottering about, listening to birds etc.

Sorry OP anxiety is horrible. I lived the first 30 years of my life not realising that I had MH issues. I had a truly bad upbringing. My mother has BPD and expected her children to look after her mentally. Trouble is she went from high, high, happy, sweetness and light and we were the best children in the world to scary rage, tormenting us, saying awful stuff and how she wishes she'd never have us.

We never knew what version we would get and it could change without warning over the smallest things. So I grew up walking on eggshells very much focused on keeping my mum happy and not my own needs. Unfortunately my dad who was definately depressed also enabled my mother to save himself I think. He himself was not abusive (although he tried to have as little to do with us as possible) but if my mum was saying horrible stuff and I tried to defend myself for example, my dad would roar 'how dare you speak to your mother like that after all she has done for you'. If he didn't speak up for her she would rip into him 100% so I know why he did it. He just couldn't cope with her either.

Unfortunately that did rather leave us adrift with both parents with MH issues.

I studied hard and got decent qualifications and decent jobs but messed up every relationship I had with destructive patterns of behaviour and self sabotage.

Also an eating disorder. I didn't realise my childhood was weird till I was in my thirties went I started to make sense of things.

I've always been a terrible worrier, hypervigilant for danger and find social occassions really stressful. I have OCD too. I've now been on prozac for 11 years and I know I need years of therapy but the cost and the thought of having to relive it all is not something I relish so I haven't done it so far. I did dip my toe in the water and had some therapy for 6 months but I didn't really feel the therapist was helping so I gave up.

I cope now by pretty much isolating myself. I have a dog so he gets me out several times a day. Otherwise I am quite content to read, watch documentaries and use the internet. I like growing stuff and art. I gave up on relationships a long time ago when I realised I just wasn't suitable to have them.

I realise now I will always be on the medication and probably should have been on it for my whole life but as some have said nobody did that back in the seventies.

My parents both had bad childhoods themselves and so I understand how they became the people they did. I veer between hating them and feeling sorry for them.

So huge sympathy but I don't know what the answers are. Anxiety, depression, OCD, eating disorders are just part of my life and I doubt I will ever rid myself of them.

I am jealous of those who have had carefree and secure childhoods and can go on to form secure bonds with partners and have a normal life. I don't care about the fact my parents were skint and we were 'the poor kids' (lots of families were poor in the seventies). I would have loved a normal mum that shielded us from adult problems and didn't use us as objects to torture.

Big hugs.

I absolutely love nature and am lucky to live in a rural area so have spent most of my life in countryside settings or in the garden listening to birds and the woodpecker at the bottom of my garden. I walk my dog every day over the fields, they are my happy places.

Sadly, it's never had a positive impact on my health issues though (or maybe I would be worse if I couldn't get out in nature?).