Firstly I know I’m scum & going to get a lot of nasty comments but I don’t care at this point.
34 pregnant with a baby my boyfriend doesn’t want because he feels he won’t be able to look after a baby & despite talking about how nice it would be he’s not turned round & said he definitely does not want children.
So now going to get an abortion rang & booked it today he’s really upset but still insists he can’t have children due to his anger issues & the way the world is now .
Had my daughter with a man who begged & pleaded with me to have an abortion & ended up with severe PND had depression & anxiety my whole life it’s never gone away last 10 years faked my way into thinking I’m happy & not a crap mum this whole things just bought it all back. I want to die or run away ! Had loads of counselling doesn’t work ! Meds nothing really gets better ..
Now can’t face my family I’ve not gone to work where I’m so depressed so they know something is going on just not been awnsering my phone daughter is with her dad till Wednesday but I feel I can’t be around her or look after her where I’m such a mess & in the process of sorting the abortion. Just don’t know what to do can’t sleep can’t eat just sat around all day smoking & drinking. I know the abortion will be for the best I’ve never enjoyed being a parent & we will make awful parents small house not a lot of money no point dragging another life into the mess that is my own honestly so ashamed & disgusted with myself I was mad to think having another baby would be a nice idea . Hate being the way I am