I have a cat. He is lovely. He is so sensitive. He likes to play. He likes to lay on top of me. He is cute. Sometimes he likes to hold my hand with his paw. Sometimes he gets on my nerves and I say "noooooo!" When he is demanding biscuits that he doesn't need.
Sometimes I feel a bit frustrated with his demands, and he skulks off to his bed. But he will always pop out later to see if I'm in a better mood.....which due to his utter cuteness I always am.
I am very suicidal. I don't really want to be alive. I am quite rubbish at life. I really wish that it was socially acceptable to say, ummm it's not working out for me (after years and years of effort and work and therapy etc), so I would like to pop off now. BUT.......the cat 😳 this bloody cat is hanging around me, sleeping on top of me, wailing for my attention...... looking like he is in heaven when I cuddle and stroke him.
This cat is keeping me alive. Sometimes I wish I never knew him, so that I could exit this life. But I do know him, and he has some kind of attitude that says, he is not accepting me pissing of early. As far as he is concerned we are a team.
Sometimes I honestly wish that I didn't have this cat, because I've had enough and I want to leave. This cat has other ideas.