Please help me (possible TW)

[Bananasandcustard28]

My husband died by suicide recently and tonight I’m feeling so alone and panicky. I have very little practical real life support and I’m struggling to see a way forward tonight

Well done for calling the GP and glad you at least got some sleep

Keep talking if it helps

Glad you managed to get some sleep - hope the GP was able to offer some help. We’re here if you need to talk.
Watching the world carrying on around you and everyone’s lives just continuing like normal while yours is in pieces is so hard.
I know it feels like you’re cast adrift but please know that you aren’t alone. xx

I feel like I’ve hit a new low today. I feel so awful. So alone and struggling to see a way forward

I only just saw this update but didn’t want to leave you thinking nobody had responded. I’m sorry you’re feeling so low at the moment - it is just hideous. It comes in waves, often triggered by the most unexpected things. And it’s even harder because people often find it difficult to know how to respond to you - their reactions are somehow different than if it had been illness or an accident. Just keep taking it all one breath at a time. Not a day, not an hour, not even a minute. Just a breath. You will get through this. I know it feels impossible and that you are irreparably broken, but just keep breathing. You won’t ever be the same person as you were before, but you’ll find your way through the darkness. It just takes time. Again, I’m so sorry, and I’m thinking of you and sending love and understanding. xxx

Whatever his reason for choosing the void over living, please don't feel anger, just compassion. If he saw no reason to keep struggling, it probably had nothing to do with you. Grieving takes time and you are still in shock so perhaps reading this will help? https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/bereavement/bereavement-by-suicide/