Anxious, alone & overwhelmed

[Starlightgone]

I’ve been a single mum for many years. My Ds left home a few months ago for work . Very proud but miss him a lot.
I have no local friends, no partner, no family and nothing in common with my work colleagues.
I get overwhelmed easily- things a work which might seem trivial to others take me over s I can barely think of anything else. I dont make friends easily and can appear aloof, l need my own space but get lonely, am particularly about my personal spaces /positions in a room if sitting, can’t bear fakeness and just feel I don’t in. I worry a lot about making mistakes at work , I used to have career job before DS but now feel i couldn’t possibly do any more than the fairly lowly job I do now. I also have ocd re checking things. I just wish I didn’t “feel” so much. I’ve tried ssris, counselling, cbt, hypnotherapy to try to help with my head bit nothing works. A couple of SSRIs have helped dull things a bit in the past but I would t take them as I’m worried about if I ever need antibiotics as they interact and can cause heart issues. Can anyone suggest anything - medication or otherwise that might help, please?

Bump..

Anyone there - please 🙏

I feel for you! Sometimes I envisage myself in a similar situation, alone, and think I'd go down the same path. I was depressed through loneliness a long while ago and the only thing that helped was exercise... I'd force myself to walk and walk. I always felt better afterwards, but I had to do it every day because I'd wake up every morning feeling bereft and in so much emotional pain. Then I made a friend...and slowly the fog lifted. It sounds like you've already tried things like counselling and hypnotherapy. Can you join a group? Even a church choir - something that's active and inclusive? I think if you can surround yourself with people in social situations, then you may start to connect and move away from your anxious isolation. Good luck xx

Talk to your GP about the SSRIS. My husband has been on Sertraline for years and has diagnosed cardiac issues and has had not additional problems because of them. A lot is balancing I think but it sounds like you need a thorough review of your meds.

ETA he is also on antibiotics very regularly, over years, for repeated UTIs. It has never been an issue or raised as an issue.

There’s a thread in Relationships, started today, called “Anyone Else Have No Friends?” Someone posted a link: www.llgc.co.uk. I found both the thread and the link very interesting and helpful.

@Ghostlygirl thanks - I will look at the website 😊

@Galectablethsnknyou & I’m sorry you’ve suffered too. I’ve tried various social groups but it’s all so superficial and people don’t seem to like me

Anyone there? 🙏

Hello 👋 I often get overwhelmed and feel too much. It is hard when on a downward spiral and relentless. It sounds like you miss your son a lot and this is contributing to your isolation.

Just for tomorrow, as one tiny step maybe, can you make a plan to go for a walk? I can see that a previous poster has mentioned exercise and doing C25K a few years ago helped to get me out of a head funk when I was struggling with a work situation as it gave me something to focus on. (Maybe need to do this again myself!)

I am sorry that you're feeling like this tonight. Virtual hugs 🫂

Feeling that people don't like you is absolutely understandable if you're feeling anxious and isolated. It's best if you stop questioning "Do people like me?" until you are at a stage when you are comfortable in your own skin and love yourself. Figure out what brings you joy. It may be things you haven't done for years e.g. knitting, swimming or dancing. Start there, and do all those things. Smile at people. Don't have any expectations. Just learn to love yourself. The rest will follow.

SSRIs do not cause heart issues when combined with antibiotics. The only SSRI with a reputation for adverse heart effects is citalopram. How about an SNRI? Have you tried that?
It might just be a matter of getting the right combination of meds.
My daughter has OCD, anxiety and depression, so she takes both Prozac and Wellbutrin.
You need a psychiatrist to evaluate all this. I hope you find something that works.
Lots of love.

@ByZippyDog thank you. I already exercise regularly and whilst it helps for a short time afterwards, all hr feels I mentioned are still there. I just want to turn my thoughts off.

@XChrome citalopram was the one I feel worked best for me unfortunately. I’ve tried many others but either had bad side effects or didn’t work

@Galectable I have actually accepted that my friendships don’t often develop as I fisll my lie fakeness as rarely find anyone I click with. I just said about people not liking me as social groups don’t work for me.

How old are you? The anxiety could be menopause as well as everything else

@Growsomeballswoman i e alway had this traits so it’s not related to menopause. The more I read about ADHD/autism makes me wonder if they ( or something similar) applies to me.

If you have half an hour watch Georgia Ede at the PHC on YouTube, the title does not look so accessible but what she says about the links between diet, brain health and mental health are eye opening.

Georgia Ede MD - What is nutritional and metabolic psychiatry #PHC2023

Best wishes.

Definitely sounds like ASC/ADHD. Have you been like this all your life?

@WandaVon yes , I’ve alway felt “ different” but it’s only recently occurring to me that they’re may be a reason. What’s ASC?

@WandaVon asc - autistic spectrum condition

Anyone there this morning? 🙏

Bump 🙏

Is it possible for you to seek an AuDHD assessment? Not everyone feels they need the diagnosis, but I know some people have only started the process of self-acceptance and healing from a lifetime of trauma after a diagnosis.

I recommend starting with some videos by ADHD Chatterbox on YouTube. See if any of that resonates with you. He has AuDHD guests as well as just ADHD.

There's a continuing thread called 'Autistic Women Assemble' on here, too, that might be useful.

@WandaVon thank you. I do wonder if it’s worth getting a diagnosis but maybe it’s just me being different/difficult. I’ll have a look at the thread , thanks

Definitely check out ADHD Chatterbox. The feeling of being difficult or 'too much' or too sensitive is definitely a common thread amongst ADHD females. You're not alone. Finding your community can be a really brilliant step forward.