I don’t want to die.

[Dpresst]

But I think I have no choice. I have fucked up my whole family’s life so badly I cannot cope with the shame and guilt.
DH and I have made a decision which is going to blow up in our faces. I know in my heart it was the wrong choice but we were in a desperate situation housing wise. We’ve taken on too much and didn’t expect the additional costs involved. We can’t afford the move we’ve made. It’s too late though.
I can’t see a way out. The stress and anxiety is too much for me.

Whatever you've done won't impact your family anything like losing you will. Can you share more about what's happened. It might not be as bad as you see it

Op explain what’s happened

you can’t afford moving house? Or something else?
I understand the extreme feelings you have, but death isn’t the answer.
it may seem like an easy way out, but make a cuppa, sit down with your partner and get a list of what needs doing . What can you do to reduce the stress

Woah there’s always a way out of a mess. Might not be quick and things may be bad for a while but there are options. No one can say it’s all going to turn out perfectly but you can come back from this.

There will be a way out - even if you end up evicted for example, you may then be entitled to social housing. Sorry if I've picked it up wrong. Some more details might help for more specific advice.

You're in the eye of the storm right now.

Don't make any big decisions, at the moment. You need to re-group with your husband and brain storm it together.

From reading your post, you feel overburdened with financial decisions due to a house move.

I can completely empathise with how you must be feeling. 💐

Houses & money is just 'stuff' nothing that can't be sorted.

your life is a one off & will screw your family up a LOT more than anything financial ever could.

we've all made mistakes & bad decisions.

tell us what's happened & we can help you through it.

Your life and being there for your loved ones is the important bit. Sounds like you did what you thought was right at the time and now you're in some difficulty?

Trust me when I say the worst thing to happen to you /your family is not about money.
Can you confide on anyone irl? Even a debt/money helpline?
Maybe we can help op?

We were served a section 21 and overstayed by a month because we couldn’t find anywhere else, we applied for 3 other properties and all fell through because we have satisfied CCJs. We then found a lovely house, the rent was high, I had my doubts, but thought we could manage it between me DH and my eldest son. We’ve moved in and had our 1st council tax bill for £400 a month! gas and electric combined £450 a month! still waiting for a water bill. My son has now been told he is being made redundant in January. I’ve changed jobs to make more money, 1st day to day and I hate it. I’ve made a mistake. It’s awful, the commute is awful. Everything is falling apart we’ve all been under so much stress the past few months and it’s never ending. We can’t get out of the tenancy for 12 months. I can’t handle how stupid I’ve been. What a mess.

Please stay for your family, they need you and would never cope with losing you. NO-ONE can replace you. You are loved and whatever has happened will one day be a distant memory. Please stay strong Xxx

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.
We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.
We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly.

My life up to this point has just been a series of monumental fuck ups. I can’t seem to just be a normal human being who manages their life. I can’t cope with how stupid I am. My children deserve so much better than this. They deserve a mum who can actually do the right thing and doesn’t make stupid mistakes that affects them and their mental health. They deserve better than me.

My car has started playing up, the diagnostic at the garage says my turbocharger is failing. ££££ to fix on top of everything else, Christmas round the corner too. Car is on a very shitty finance deal if it dies I still have to pay for it . I need it to get to the new shitty job. I can’t honestly believe this is happening, one thing after another, it never stops.

We tried for SH after the previous landlord served us notice. They told us to stay put until bailiffs came then they’d give us a bedsit or hotel which we could be in for years, I couldn’t do it to my kids.

i feel like giving up. I’m not good enough for my family, I can’t look after them and give them what they need. I’m working 50hrs a week and feel like I’m getting nowhere financially

The only thing keeping me here is how hurt they would be by me ducking out of life. I can’t leave them in this mess but I can’t get us out of it either

Phone council and see if they can spread your payments a bit more. Call gas/electric and tell them you're in financial difficulty and can they reduce your direct debit. They will help honestly. I was going through some recent dramas myself and they reduced everything. I was paying £40 gas/electric for about 6mths until I got back on my feet again. You can do this OP, it feels shit (and is shit), but it will pass and you'll get through it.

The bills you got don't sound right. You may have been over charged. £450 for gas& elec - are you sure that's for a month? More like per quarter I'd have thought!

£400 for council tax sounds extortionate too unless the house is massive and in a very posh area.

Please check. Things will work out, I promise.

i will try, I cant believe how high it is. In our previous borough we paid £160pm, I nearly screamed out loud when I opened our new bill. £400!!

Are you sure that council tax bill doesn’t cover the rest of this financial year?

It’s a 4bed townhouse. I didn’t research anything we just applied in desperation. Our previous place was so small and cramped and riddled with damp. We saw this house and got swept up in having space and a lovely home. I had no idea what we were getting ourselves in to. Stupid stupid stupid

@Dpresst What Council Tax banding are you? We're E and it's £280 p/m.

Also, we are renters at 44 and 48, despite both working our arses off. We will never be able to afford our own home and you're right - it doesn't seem fair at all. I feel too like I've let my kids down but they need you more than anything else ❤️

We’re band F. I am going to try and call them. There’s no way in hell we can afford it

As pp said is the council tax definitely per month & not just what's due for the end of this year - bearing in mind the Council tax year ends in Jan. That would mean it's around the amount you previously paid