Masking depression

[rosemole]

After many, many years of masking, I think I'm ready to admit I'm a depressive.
It's been something I've had to hide all my life due to the way my family have conditioned me to think - depression is a weakness and I'm being over the top if I express the fact I'm depressed and struggling.
Where do I go from here? Can anyone relate or suggest any useful resources?
I have a counsellor but that started for other reasons and I'm only just realising the cause of my lifelong issues now.

I saw my counsellor today. I must have cried my way through the whole hour, but I needed it so much - I don't really cry out of counselling.
Anyway the reason I'm updating is because I mentioned my upcoming reiki session and her eyes lit up - she obviously thinks it's a good idea even though she also suggested the GP to me again and I explained my reasons for not wanting to.

I completely relate! I'm such a good masker that people think I'm sunny and positive. They don't believe I'm a depressive. I only really tell the people closest to me.

There must be lots of maskers out there. Maskers come and take your mask off for a bit here 😢😂