Antidepressants is it worth it despite the weight gain and sleep issues

[Porcelainpig]

Apologies for long post. Just wondered what people's experience was on ADs and if they managed to get out of this without them.

I am very much a glass half empty person. I worry a lot and just constantly feel a bit down and a bit braindead and robotic. I have always been like this. I can function and just about do my job, but I can achieve much more. It has taken its toll on my family and I'm living a very lonely half-life. I have no memtal capacity to make friends and don't really feel like I want to. I love my own company, but have had friendship groups in the past I've drifted away from or they have moved away. I just don't feel up to maintaining the facade of being happy with life because I'm not.

I work almost full time and have a severely disabled child (severe ASD), who has a sleep disorder too. It has been a battle to get basic support and education in place, and this never goes away. His behaviour is getting worse and managing his care more intense. I know I need time off, but I'm the only person who can do my job and being away from work and routine tends to mess me up a bit more.

My partner says I'm very negative and it is affecting my eldest NT son. My son is also down about his siblings disabilities and this affects the entire household. I find it hard to hide how I feel as i am so frustrated at the minute with never getting anywhere, and just feel so battered by my disabled son's care needs. It is hard to do anything new with my son and walking around the same streets, doing the same thing every week makes me want to scream. I cry most days, but not in front of my kids. My partner is very helpful and pulls his weight, but is a tough character and probably doesn't get it. We are good at dragging each other out of low moods, but I think my constant low mood is frustrating him.

I have recently lost two stone - probably the only positive achievement I have this year. I am really reluctant to go on ADs because of the weight gain and the side effects, but what my OH said about my mood affecting my child really scared me. I don't want to ruin my son's life. I'm not sure what to do as I know it is incredibly hard to come off ADs. Putting on weight through ADs is going to flatten my confidence and might just exacerbate how bad I feel. I exercise and eat relatively well, get out in nature. It just isn't making a dent on how I feel as the rest of my life is shit. I just don't think ADs really solve any problems, but I hear lots of anecdotal evidence of people wishing they accessed them sooner, and wonder if I will be one of those people.

Just wondered if anyone didn't have weight gain and other side effects what ADs they were? My sleep is awful as I am an insomniac, but also have a child waking me up most nights too. This has also put me off ADs as this is a side effect. I don't want to deal with side affects whilst working as i am struggling as it is. have tried Amitryptiline and I was a zombie even on a low dose.

Can anyone share their experience of them. I'm keen to avoid medical intervention, but my partner is right and I do need to change for the sake of my kids.

If you prefer the natural route then I suggest trying 5htp
50mg at night at first and then increase to 100 if you need to.
I don't know if you get.oppprtumity for exercise, but even a daily walk in nature is a stabiliser.

A decent multivitamin and mineral supplement.
Omega 3 supplement is incredible for the brain too.

Make sure your food is vaguely balanced and not over processed .

I think keeping on top of mental health naturally is all about small changes that give yourself the best chance.

Work out what are the things that help you stay well, and try and do them or work towards it.

Saying that, i am on a medication routine that has been a real game changer for me.
I have tried several antidepressants and an antipsychotic, and valium and sleeping tablets, all with their issues and side effects.
Currently im on fluoxetine (prozac) as it's the only one that didn't ruin my libido or stop my 'O' I dont think its made me gain weight either.
Im also on HRT as perimenopause was a factor. Getting medication for my adhd was the biggest gamechanger for my mental health though.
Those 3 medications have allowed me a level of stability that i haven't had in a long time.
I am autistic myself and have adhd, and so do my 3 kids and my husband (he isn't diagnosed though)
I really have felt so awful at times on the journey through schooling etc, and felt like I wasnt depressed, i was actually going properly mad.

Its not easy to make effective positive changes when you're really in the thick of it all. Its so overwhelming. How are you supposed to be upbeat and positive when you are battling a system like this, working ft, not sleeping and actually getting told off for being a negative Nancy?

Not only that, its cold and dark and winter setting in, and we've got months of this now.

Sorry thats probably really muddled, but its really important also that you remember that you can trial medication and if you don't get on with it, you can try a different one.

I have tried about 3 ssri and 2 of them i only lasted a week or two on. The SNRI saved my life, but the side effects made me want to wean off it after a couple of years. It never was quite right for me.

None of the medications are miracle workers though.
A lot of your feelings are normal reactions to prolonged stress and constant dealing with bullshit. Those issues aren't going anywhere, but medication can be a godsend in helping you stay sane while you navigate it all

@Xrayspexxx It is more my immediate family than OH that say that. I think he has had his moments too because we are very stressed, but he is generally more positive than me. I am surrounded by people who have a get on with it approach to life, and they just tell me to take time off work, but I still have to go back to it. I feel would only get benefit from having weeks off, not just a few days. I think over time they are frustrated that I can't shake off how I am, which I understand.

@Questionary I am on the assessment waiting list. It would explain a lot if I am. 😁 There is a lot of it in my family - diagnosed and undiagnosed. It's a very long wait and I can't go private. I have made everyone aware that I think this is why I struggle. I think if I could just feel positive it would not impact me so much.

@Oneearringlost thanks for sharing your experience. I wonder if that is how I will feel. I still have goodish days and I think this convinces me I am OK, but I then get awful days too. I have no idea why. I used to blame my cycle, but there is no pattern to it. It just happens. I feel I am a slave to this. I just want to be able to cope with the demands of family life and not worry I will wake up and feel rock bottom. I struggle with confusion and organising too and then get cross with myself. I don't really care about feeling like this, but I do care that my mood might be influencing how my children feel. The sad thing is that once it was pointed out to me I could really see it in my son.

I totally understand you op.

I care for my mum who has dementia and although I have suffered from anxiety and depression for most of my life the role of being a carer has put me into a state of constant misery and it is greatly affecting my life and I am bringing down my family in the process.

I have put off taking antidepressants for so long as I too am worried about the possible weight gain and sleep issues, amongst other side effects, which scare me but I am getting to a point where it is now or never. We can't go on like this, living half lives. Maybe antidepressants are the crutch we need to get us through?

After much research online, I have just this morning put in a request to my GP for Fluoxteine, 10mg tablets so I can cut them in half and go in to this gradually.

Best of luck op, I hope you find something which helps, you deserve to feel better x

I have been on Sertraline several times for anxiety and I did not gain weight. There were some mild side effects in the first few weeks (can't really remember what they were but I think they were common ones- a slight increase in anxiety, foggy head etc) but once they settled, the ADs were a massive help- they allowed me to function. The only long-lasting side effects I had were loss of libido- this was quite severe and is fairly common unfortunately. However, my MH was the priority and losing my libido was quite a small price to pay for being able to function and not living in fear so much of the time. The other thing was that my emotional range became quite 'flat'. So although I was suffering the crashing lows, I also didn't much experience excitement or joy- I just felt ok. But again, I considered it worth it for the benefits. I'm not on them currently but would use them again if I needed to.

Over time, I have come to wonder if my anxiety- which has been with me most of my life- is actually related to neurodivergence. I don't have a diagnosis, but strongly suspect I have ADHD. Other family members are diagnosed with it and it would make a lot of sense to me. I've read that anxiety and/or depression can be common in people who are ND. So like a PP, I wondered whether that might be the case for you, especially as you have a ND child. I'm glad to see you're going to have an assessment- maybe that will give you some answers.

That should say I WASN'T suffering the lows while on ADs.

I have scored very highly on the pre screening ASQ50 and camouflaging test. I have a lot of traits. My low confidence is probably linked to not being able to read people. I always feel they don't like me. I had two meetings for my kids with two different teachers at two different schools on the same day recently, and realised I spent both of them trying to not look weird. I found it knackering and worried about the impression I made.

@Dreamsfallapartattheseams caring is so exhausting. My son functions like someone who is mobile but in the latter stages of dementia. He is non verbal and puts himself in danger constantly. He is what they would call level 3 autism in the States. I am funding it hard to be positive as it just keeps getting worse and he isn't making any progress. It must be so hard to see someone you love deteriorate. You have to mourn the old them whilst having the stress of caring and there is very little support. It can make you feel very downtrodden and insignificant. I hope you get on well with the ADs if you do decide they are right for you. I was going to request Fluoxetine too.

I used a Chinese formula supplement called Settle the Emotions. But that was more for agitation and anxiety. They have others for stress or depression

Hi, thanks to all the people that posted on here and your kind words. I am still mulling this over, but it is reassuring me about side effects and has given me more of a positive attitude to medical intervention. I think if I do go for it I will start on lowish dose as I can still function OK to an extent.

I spoke to my OH about it and he said I should do what I needed, but things might get easier in the near future (he is cutting his hours so can take more of the load off me in terms of housekeeping and appointments) so it might be worth waiting to see if my mood improves as I will have more time to myself after work, and to exercise which really helps me.

I won't say I'm rock bottom, just really fed up and feeling rather hopeless. It is all my son and the lack of support that is making me depressed sadly. I know if he wasn't the way he was or even just slept better, I wouldn't feel like this. It is hard not to wish for my old life before him as he also affects my other son's well being too, and I blame myself for this. I have had my ups and downs over the years but haven't felt so low for such an extended period of time (since he deteriorated with the ASD). I'm functioning, but at a suboptimal level and just getting by.

I don't think medication is going to fix how I feel as I can't stop my son's disabilities, which is the source of the depression. It isn't his fault, he is so severely autistic he just doesn't understand, and there is no reasoning with him whatsoever and no way to manage his behaviour.

Our consultant is an utter coward who is scared of medicating him for fear of impacting her career most likely, when that is what he probably needs and is in his best interest. This pisses me off because midwives take bigger risks on half the salary. She is sending us on a wild goose chase trying to rule things out for his behaviour (when it is clear he is just sevely affected by his ASD) and I feel I have to corner her in some way to get what we need. I like her as a person, and I don't want to threaten her with complaints but I am getting close to it. I'm not sure what to do. I'm fed up of having to be such a pushy parent and the constant battle.

So far today I have been woken up at 3am, he has accidentally shat over the sofa and kicked me whilst I was trying to clean him up (which is not my idea of fun at 5am) and has spat everywhere, and all through has intermittently been screaming and tipping his drinks everywhere (yes even at 3am when he woke up). I'm not sure how I am supposed to live with this for the rest of my life with no help and be really jolly and hopeful with it.

Anyway I'm putting the violins away now. I just wanted to update, but I've turned this into a venting session instead. Sorry for the long post. 🙂

I have suspected AuDHD. I went on Fluoxetine and Propranolol about two months ago so still early days, but honestly it’s been amazing. They would have to pry my pills from my cold dead hands before I give them up! Sleep is definitely worse but even with that it’s 100% worth it. No weight gain. First two weeks I had very high anxiety but then it settled. You can order melatonin from the States which helps with sleep. I take one before bed and when I inevitably wake up again after a few hours, I take another and get sleepy again. It’s known that Autistic people benefit from melatonin.

@Porcelainpig You should be talking to your GP about this. Whilst many of us here have been diagnosed with clinical depression, GAD etc and have experience of the various medications and therapies, these are serious mental health illnesses for which you need clinical support.

Please don't let things spiral, it's easier to recover from halfway down than rock bottom. I know it can be hard to do something for yourself when you feel so low and there's other stuff going on, but you are important too and you need to prioritise that. 💐

I just thought I'd report back in case someone else was thinking of doing the same. I am going to doctors to get some ADs, probably Fluoxetine. I've had a rough couple of weeks and an emergency, which on the surface I probably coped OK with, but inside I didn't. My brain just didn't work with the anxiety, I couldn't put one thought ahead of the other. I was reading and nothing went in. This just made me seriously paranoid too. I really struggled and have had very bad mood swings since. A couple of the days I felt like walking into traffic (which I would never do, as God forbid I'd end up seriously hurting or killing someone else) but even thinking that was a hefty neon sign saying 'Get anti Ds'.

My anxiety at work is bad and I know it isn't all my job, but it definitely is my mental state. I'm worried about this alot. I don't want to put pressure on my team.

Since I've decided I actually feel quite positive. I'm hoping I can get the side effects largely out of the way by new year as I have a busy new year. It would be nice to go into the new year feeling better and actually perfoming at a good level in my job, which could be a place where i can escape my 'carer' identity (or just not feel shit). I fear the side effects a lot, but I'm more fearful of carrying on like this and losing my job and messing my kids up. I feel like I have dementia as i can't recall anything some days! Most of all I just want to connect better with my kids.

Thanks for everyone's input on this thread. Being able to listen to other people's experiences have helped. My family are very anti medication/do everything naturally, so it has helped me stand firm ADs being what I need.

My family are the same OP, the only person who knows is my DH - even then I didn’t ask for his opinion I just told him after I’d started taking them.

Be aware the first couple of weeks can bring some challenging side effects but it’s worth preserving (IMO).

Good luck Porcelainpig I really hope they help you.

It isn't a reason not to take an AD in my opinion.
The flip side, is you may have more energy / head space to take time for yourself eg exercise / cook well.
Not saying you don't anyway .
Take care

My mum's view on AD has changed since I hit rock bottom. She may not inwardly agree but accepts they help me.

My brother has also been helped by them as he has had some life issues he went through !

Since disclosing to others I take them, I have been surpried by how many others do too ! NO shame

I've been on AD 14 years.

Dosage and medication changes. I have been on 1 a day then 2 then 1 then 3 then 2 then 1 etc recently I've asked to come off them but they can't fit me in for meducation review until after Christmas. Which is weird as I went from 2 to 1 myself with them knowing but not asking how I've gone on.

@Questionary
I think a trial of ADs could be really helpful but would suggest some ND sensitive theory first or in conjunction maybe?

I'm autistic. Can I ask what this is please?

Hi OP

I have a very high needs ND child with sleep disorder, and I started prozac this summer, and it's the best thing I have ever done for myself. I also held off for years thinking I wasn't depressed, but was stressed because my life was stressful (true).
My Mum who is a GP encouraged me to try it, saying that after years of chronic stress, my serotonin was probably depleted and I could do with a boost.
It has been lifechanging, my circumstances are the same but I am able to deal with it so much more inner calm, and absence of anxious thoughts. I take it when I wake up.
I fought hard for meds for child too, not sure how we could manage without!
Feel free to message if it helps.