Antidepressants is it worth it despite the weight gain and sleep issues

[Porcelainpig]

Apologies for long post. Just wondered what people's experience was on ADs and if they managed to get out of this without them.

I am very much a glass half empty person. I worry a lot and just constantly feel a bit down and a bit braindead and robotic. I have always been like this. I can function and just about do my job, but I can achieve much more. It has taken its toll on my family and I'm living a very lonely half-life. I have no memtal capacity to make friends and don't really feel like I want to. I love my own company, but have had friendship groups in the past I've drifted away from or they have moved away. I just don't feel up to maintaining the facade of being happy with life because I'm not.

I work almost full time and have a severely disabled child (severe ASD), who has a sleep disorder too. It has been a battle to get basic support and education in place, and this never goes away. His behaviour is getting worse and managing his care more intense. I know I need time off, but I'm the only person who can do my job and being away from work and routine tends to mess me up a bit more.

My partner says I'm very negative and it is affecting my eldest NT son. My son is also down about his siblings disabilities and this affects the entire household. I find it hard to hide how I feel as i am so frustrated at the minute with never getting anywhere, and just feel so battered by my disabled son's care needs. It is hard to do anything new with my son and walking around the same streets, doing the same thing every week makes me want to scream. I cry most days, but not in front of my kids. My partner is very helpful and pulls his weight, but is a tough character and probably doesn't get it. We are good at dragging each other out of low moods, but I think my constant low mood is frustrating him.

I have recently lost two stone - probably the only positive achievement I have this year. I am really reluctant to go on ADs because of the weight gain and the side effects, but what my OH said about my mood affecting my child really scared me. I don't want to ruin my son's life. I'm not sure what to do as I know it is incredibly hard to come off ADs. Putting on weight through ADs is going to flatten my confidence and might just exacerbate how bad I feel. I exercise and eat relatively well, get out in nature. It just isn't making a dent on how I feel as the rest of my life is shit. I just don't think ADs really solve any problems, but I hear lots of anecdotal evidence of people wishing they accessed them sooner, and wonder if I will be one of those people.

Just wondered if anyone didn't have weight gain and other side effects what ADs they were? My sleep is awful as I am an insomniac, but also have a child waking me up most nights too. This has also put me off ADs as this is a side effect. I don't want to deal with side affects whilst working as i am struggling as it is. have tried Amitryptiline and I was a zombie even on a low dose.

Can anyone share their experience of them. I'm keen to avoid medical intervention, but my partner is right and I do need to change for the sake of my kids.

You could start with a naturopath and getting on some herbal supplements before going down the medication route. They definitely worked for me

What did you use?

I hope you are ok. Would it be worth getting some level of counselling by yourself, and also some family counselling, just where you mention your eldest son is also down. It might be really helpful to have an environment where you can all safely offload. In my area you can self refer to free counselling, it’s called iTalk. I think you’re doing an amazing job from what you’ve written.

Have you been diagnosed with depression? If so, by who?

I haven’t gained weight nor had any sleep issues from AD’s.

Thanks for your kind words, they choked me up a bit. I do think we have coped well as a family, in particular my NT child. It has been hugely stressful just coming to terms with my disabled son's diagnosis and realising life has completely changed. I think i have just slowly slid downwards and become more isolated and not realised because I am so busy.

I have had CBT, but when your brain is mush it is hard to put in practice. I just feel like I have failed really and it sounds awful to say this but it did go downhill after having my second child/COVID. It isn't his fault of course, but I can't help but feel I was naive about everything being ok and carrying on with the pregnancy. I just don't think I can manage this for the rest of my life. I just see a lot of difficulty and struggle ahead.

@Xrayspexxx no formal diagnosis as far as I am aware. I am not under a mental health team or anything. I'm not sure if there is anything on my GP records.

@SunQueen24 which ones are you on?

Some antidepressants are better than others for weight gain. I am on a low dose for anxiety and it hasn't made me put on weight. Sleep has worsened, however the tiredness is not triggering my anxiety now which is what used to happen so overall it is worth it for me.

Escitalopram

It’s only really mirtazepine that has evidence of causing weight gain and that’s not first line anyway.

This

Why do you think ADs make you put on weight?

Did you lose weight as a result of depression/anxiety, OP?
If so, it's not so celebratory ( although I can understand it.).
Most SSRIs do not CAUSE weight gain, but rather, most people's experience is of regaining dysfunctional loss of weight due to reduced appetite because of the depression/anxiety...many think this is antidepressants CAUSING weight gain. Not so, in many cases.

OP, your partner/DH has expressed something important.
I would listen and recognise you have a responsibility to take control of yourself, and do the right thing, for you, your partner and your child....it may not work, ( or more likely, it may) but doing all one can in a situation like this, is important.
We all know, Mother Nature can go catastrophically wrong sometimes, and other help can be life-saving.xx

I have read that Prozac/Fluoxetine can make you lose weight and then gain if on long term, but is generally better for weight. I worry about the period when you start taking it as it can make you feel worse before you get better. I am a bit worried about that as I do get thoughts of suicide, but I would not do anything about them. It's more because I feel very overwhelmed and think there is no point in trying. I think I might be asking too much from ADs in getting the benefits but with no side effects.

I know people who have taken ADs and ballooned and it has really ruined their health. I'd rather not take them, but I feel like I am at the stage where I will never be happy again and I'm just not capable of it as it is who I am. Is this feeling common with depression? I have never had someone outright say 'you are depressed, you need help'. I just get people saying I'm sensitive, worry too much, I'm too negative etc. This tends to make me feel inadequate more than anything, but they are probably right.

OP please go to your GP and describe it like you did here. If you're clinically depressed it's very unlikely you will get better without medical intervention whether that be drugs or talk therapies. Tell your GP the only good thing this year has been your efforts at weight loss and ask for a low dose of antidepressants that won't make you gain weight or become addicted. Some drugs are less addictive than others. Help is available and you just need to ask for it. Newer antidepressants are so much better than the old ones for being able to come off of them slowly without having a crash.

People I know have gained on them and some of the websites I have researched say they have this affect.

I don't know a lot of people really anymore, so it is difficult to find positive anecdotal experiences of ADs.

I wonder if I will take them and wonder why I didn't do it sooner. I have always been someone who has struggled intermittently and had rock bottom confidence. If anyone gives me praise it never registers. I'm wondering if i have had a chemical inbalance all this time. I think because of my situation and hormones it is getting worse.

@Oneearringlost thank you for your post. I need people to tell me to sort this out. I need to take some action.

I echo @Questionary.
Look up robust evidence, most SSRis do not CAUSE weight gain, only Mirtazepine which is a Tetra- cyclic anti depressant ( TeCa, not SSRI)

The thing about ADs is, they treat depression but they don’t fix anything else in your life, and it sounds like you have a lot of very difficult circumstances that you don’t have much (or any) control over.
I find the side effects of the medications (including ad’s) that I take worth it because my problem is a mood disorder which I have had all of my life. It’s very hard to say whether antidepressants are right for you or whether they are worth it on balance.
Maybe family counselling for you, your OH and your older child might help you to communicate how you feel and discuss how you can help and support each other and individual counselling for yourself might also be helpful for you to talk about the things you don’t want to or feel like you can discuss with anyone else. Also maybe look into whether there are any support groups you could join.
I don’t think it’s fair for your OH to say that to you about your mood, it’s not helpful. It sounds like you are coping very well in the circumstances.

OP could you be autistic?

I think a trial of ADs could be really helpful but would suggest some ND sensitive theory first or in conjunction maybe?

I wonder if I will take them and wonder why I didn't do it sooner. I have always been someone who has struggled intermittently and had rock bottom confidence. If anyone gives me praise it never registers. I'm wondering if i have had a chemical inbalance all this time. I think because of my situation and hormones it is getting worse.

You could always try them. A low dose is generally not hard to come back off.
When people gain weight on them, it is usually regaining weight they have lost from lack of appetite due to the depression (with the exception of mirtazapine as PPs have said. I’m on that and weight gain is common with it).
I don’t want to put you off the idea but just be prepared that as someone with a lot of experience of ADs, they are often not a straightforward quick fix. It’s not as simple as say, being deficient in something and taking a supplement.

Oh, OP, poor old you, you deserve to feel better than you know.

It it were me ( and it was many years ago), I would try the anti depressants, yes, I had 3 weeks of nausea, ( and I'd lost stupid amounts of weight...so much so, I could hardly function). I questioned it, ( was lucky enough to have a psychiatrist friend who advised me to pursue it). Oh, my, goodness, it was revelatory! I hadn't realised how utterly low I'd become.

Please consider it and be mindful it may take 6-8 weeks to take effect,expect side effects, but these will diminish...
I felt like a different woman, again, I cannot emphasise enough, that I hadn't realised just how far I'd fallen....this was 23 years ago, ( I stayed on anti depressants for 18 months, then gradually came off, never needed again....but this could be your life-saver....equally some talking therapy, but I'd try anti- depressants first... all the best, Old Thing. X

It does sound like ADs are a route that you should explore, OP.
The whole idea that anti-depressants cause weight gain is a big misconception. In fact, certain ADs have been known to lead to weight loss. And as a pp mentioned, it isn't the medication itself that causes weight gain, but rather increased eating due to feeling better.
When you talk to your GP be honest about your fear and hopefully they can reassure you and prescribe appropriately. I say this as somebody who has experienced disordered eating in the past and put off going on them for this very reason.

It sounds like some more support with your son and time for you might be helpful as well.

I’ve been on sertraline for 3 years and I haven’t put on an ounce. I’ve also slept much, much better after the first couple of days. The first night, I didn’t sleep a wink but then I switched to taking them in the morning and it was worth it in the end.

No weight gain here, and the disturbed sleep only lasted a few nights.

Well......give it a go

I know 5 friends and my sister who all take sertraline.

No weight gain. A few niggles in the first month but after that ....all good

Take in the morning with a big glass of water after breakfast

Start small....even 25 mg (or 12.5 mg) and work up every 14 days

PS....im not a medic. The above is simply what my friends and sister worked out through trial and error