Bi-polar partner extremely difficult. At wits end.

[FluWorldOrder]

I just need to offload really.

My partner of 8 years has bi-polar. He has been well managed on lithium for many years and when he is taking his medication he is happy, not a nasty person and just gets on with things.

He was under the care of a local mental health team until earlier in the year but was discharged from that service. He said he doesn't have the diagnosis anymore and that the psychiatrist confirmed this and stopped the medication (he may have been taking it sporadically before then but generally he took it and was fine).

He doesn't accept the bi-polar diagnosis and has always been unhappy about it but generally it was all a non event as he has been fine for years and just took the medication and got on with things.

Unfortunately since he stopped the medication in March-ish things have now come crashing down. He has been manic since mid-September with no sign of anything improving. He has no idea there is anything wrong despite having a complete change of personality. He has become extremely nasty. Extremely nasty. Random and muddled. Pressured speech and random tangents. He has ZERO insight into anything and genuinely can not see there is a complete change in him and something is wrong

He thinks there is something wrong with me. Yes there is, I am extremely anxious and on edge as I never know what I'm going to get from one minute to the next. He has become almost obsessed with my health and me seeing doctors, dentists, optometrists.. you name it he wants me to see it.

Has anyone been in this situation? I am getting to a point of desperation as this has been going on for 6 weeks now and is destroying my mental health. It will be almost impossible for us to come back from this as he is continually nasty and rude to me. I understand it's the condition but that doesn't make it any easier.

I just need support really as I have no one IRL to turn to. What can I do? We have two children and I have no where to go or money to go anywhere with. There is more but this is long. Thanks for reading if you got this far.

Took my car keys from the Sunday to Thursday

How’re you getting on op?

@NotARealWookiie I'm treading carefully, thanks for asking. I haven't left yet as I said I would as there are a few financial things to sort out with him. I'm scared that if they're not we will lose our tenancy. Hopefully my children and I will continue on in the house once this is over.

I am going to apply to have him assessed as his nearest relative but I'm really wondering if they will pick up on anything. His own GP and the mental health worker saw no evidence of mania. I am just wondering if it's going to take him doing something completely bonkers to tip it over the edge at this point. When I stressed to his GP the behaviour was out of character he sort of implied that people can just change.. (yes funny that out of the blue someone can completely change their personality and all in line with traits of a diagnosed mental health condition 🙄 what are the odds!).

I'm going to write some main points down of the most serious things. It all sounds very trivial when written down but it is completely out of character behaviour as isn't normally a nasty man, quite the opposite in fact!

I just feel so sad. It is my 40th in a few weeks and then Christmas. Things were ticking along so nicely before this and now I am dealing with this at this time of year. It's so frustrating.

"D"P has withdrawn all the money from my bank account without my consent. That is all we have to last us until next Friday (and it's not much). I stressed to him that's all we have but he said "no it's not" extremely nastily. Well we do have a whole £200 away for Christmas but that hardly goes far. He is out at a wake so drinking and will be getting a ride home later. Honestly I just want him to put his fist through my face at this point. I know it sounds extreme but nothing is being done as no one sees he is unwell except me. I am going to apply for the assessment but I just don't know if he's bad enough for anything to be done. This is a nightmare situation.

So sorry OP, please do your best to keep yourself safe. I am really sorry you are going through this

OP, that's financial abuse and you need to leave. Call women's aid today. Get out. You need to protect yourself, whatever the cause of this episode

Thank you @CockerMum 🧡

Yes. Christmas is going to be very bleak. He seems to have lost sense of money but overspending and getting into trouble is characteristic of a manic episode.

NI can be a very frustrating place at times.. maybe it's like this other places too, but no one knows anything. I called the local mental health team. I asked about the nearest relative request for assessment. Apparently he HAS to be referred by his GP. They said call the psychiatric hospital l, so I did that. They said needs to be referred by his GP. Um the legislation says different. I guess I will phone social services today. I have to admit it's pretty frustrating that we were referred to them by the mental health team after I rang them two or so weeks ago. I guess the nature of the illness is so serious they have to refer (they're not going to refer everyone are that..?) but then on the other hand they can't do anything? Except wait to see if he's referred by his GP who sees no problem.

Could you video record his behaviour to prove it? Then might believe you then! So frustrating. I'm so sorry you are going through all of this.