.... I have a male friend who was widowed 10yrs ago. He is an only child, with no children of his own, in his 70s.
I have no experience of being widowed, although I did have some very personal trauma approx 20yrs ago.
He is honest enough to say he still feels as angry and bitter about his wife's death as he did the day she died.
He is thoroughly miserable. There's no spark or enjoyment in him. He has recently been prescribed ADs, Citalopram I think, after not getting on with Sertraline.
He sits in his house, with 2 dogs all day, just sitting - his house is full of 'stuff' almost like hoarding, but tidy, just piled up everywhere, and has no motivation to do anything.
I went on holiday in July, he was waiting for a hospital appt about something in a blood test. The appt came through while I was away, and then I was getting lots of calls everyday saying how worried he was - it wasn't anything life threatening, but he does seem to catastrophise around Health issues.
I go over and have a few hours with the dogs when he goes to golf, but usually leave before he comes home as I just feel drained by all his negativity. Although I live alone, I do work part time, and care for my mum who's in her 80s.
I know I can't "fix" him, but he is just living a half life, not wanting to do anything, and always bring very down.
He saw a bereavement counsellor some years ago and also went to bereavement groups, saying they weren't for him....
Yesterday unfortunately I snapped, and said I was struggling to deal with the constant negativity - and now I feel guilty because he literally has no one in his life apart from me.