Don't know how to deal with this (CMHT)

[Gimjam]

I was diagnosed with EUPD and autism last year. I've had lots of trauma and mental health difficulties for years. I'm nearly 50 now. I was having weekly appointments with a mental health nurse, some sort of structured help. I was finding it too much really and felt she didn't understand me and was flippant sometimes.
I felt like I had to say something instead of staying quiet, but I must have expressed myself wrongly as she threatened to end the appointment (video call) and accused me of being aggressive. I wasn't aggressive but frustrated and annoyed and it probably showed in my face.
She scheduled another appointment for a couple of weeks later. I attended but she didn't show, (video call). Normally if appointments are cancelled because of emergency or illness, I get a phone call or text. There was nothing. But I wasn't surprised really.
This was 6 weeks ago. I have heard nothing from the nurse since. She has always called me previously to apologise if she couldn't make appointments, though these would be cancelled first anyway, so no need to apologise. But just nothing? I have a quite bad fear of rejection/abandonment I think anyway and tend to imagine awful things.
But it's now almost two months since I last spoke to her and we were having weekly appointments and she knew I was having a bad time and in an abusive relationship.
This is unacceptable surely?

Don’t despair OP. I think the fact that you
have an NHS clinical psychologist working with you shows that they recognise that you need support.
Have you been offered DBT therapy as that works well for EUPD. A friend of mine with EUPD was sectioned last year but is doing really well now after DBT.
Don’t give up and do keep posting here for support xx

@Gimjam contact them. They are busy people and you may fall off the radar and then be without any support. Doesn’t feel worth it just to see how long it will take her to call you

My dh is under our local CMHT and his caseworker is absolutely useless, I'm considering asking if he can have a new one but don't know if that's allowed. Previous ones we've had have failed turn up or phone to say they are not coming and I've always had to phone to chase them up and re book. They always seem to have a caseload they can't cope with and they eventually leave. He's on his third one in two years. I think you'll just have to get in contact with them, speak to the receptionist and explain the situation to them, they might be able to get your particular nurse's manager to contact you rather than the nurse herself. The danger with not contacting them is that they could discharge you back to the care of just your GP. Remember, they are professionals doing a job and they should be looking after you.

@Curtainsformeplease oh thank you. Really appreciate your posts and understanding. Unfortunately the clinical psychologist isn't really working with me as such. There are two of them. I had a conversation with her colleague and she was amazing, she really understood me and responded really well to me. No awkward silences or being shut down or dismissed when something too complex or troublesome comes up. I'm quite sure though that I couldn't ask her to carry out the therapy with me instead of the nurse?
The CMHT tend to keep you in the dark too I think and I want to know so much and they are just vague.

It is bizarre that they can interpret the fact that patients haven’t contacted them as them not engaging and discharging them.

In reality with serious MH issues, people can be too ill to reach out for help.

@Neverheather yes that sounds awful. There is a lot of people on leave and who are sick I think, as you say the caseload is too much. Before this happened though the communication was usually good though.

@Curtainsformeplease yes and I have heard of people being very unwell and being discharged with no checks being done

No problem @Gimjam, I do understand what you are going through.
If you can pluck up the courage to ask the clinical psychologist if she could carry out the therapy then she might be able to do that or at least come up with another option that would work better for you than the current nurse.
Remember how strong you are to keep going when things are so tough. Good luck xx

@Curtainsformeplease thank you, yes I will try to broach this with them, and how much difference it made to me to be understood properly. Thanks again xx

👍 Let us know how you get on

OP, just to clarify, I didn't mean you wasted the nhs time up to now.

I meant that her seeing you again in future would be a waste because she's either not very good at her job or just doesn't 'get' you and can't help you with what you need. Your time and energy is valuable to you. The NHS's resources are valuable to them.

You deserve to be allocated someone that can help you get through this difficult time.

And you will get through it. We all deserve to be happy so I hope you get a new nurse allocated soon that gets you and helps you move on from things in the past.

PS sorry I can't see your PM, I'm in the app and I don't seem to have access.