TW Suicidal thoughts

[TriggerWarning45]

I want to start by assuring you that I am not going to hurt myself.

I've been with H for 15 years. I'm not particularly happy in the relationship. It's hard to leave because he isn't a bad guy. I go through a list of what he doesn't do. He doesn't drink, gamble, take drugs, womanise ect. Also, I have little kids so I prioritise their needs. Any how, recently I've been having intrusive thoughts about killing myself and self harming. I'm pretty sure I have OCD. I do a lot of checking, things like taps, plugs, the front door. I don't think anything bad is going happen it's just a compulsion. I've also had intrusive thoughts for a long time. They are just more persistent. Is anyone else going through this?

Evening.
We're just bobbing on here to say that we're so sorry to hear you're going through this, OP.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged to us we like to link to our web-guides, which we hope may be helpful. If you'd like to, please do feel free to take a look at our Mental Health page.
Very best wishes from all at MNHQ

Hi @TriggerWarning45 - have you managed to speak to a therapist about this?

Do you think the feelings are getting worse?

I would definitely try and see your GP if you haven’t x

OP I'm sorry to hear you're going through this.

If you think you're going to hurt yourself please dial 111 option 2. That's the mental health option for mental health.

Can you please make an urgent GP appointment and discuss these feelings with your Dr.

I'm really sorry to hear this. You might find it helpful to call the Samaritans - they will listen without judgement.

Re your h - you can leave for any reason. He first have to be beating you to justify you leaving.

Do you think you would still have these thoughts if you left him?

When you think about your ideal life, what does it look like?