Feel suicidal waiting for test results. Please help.

[CantCopeWontCope75]

I had unprotected sex last month, very brief and man didn't finish but I took morning after pill as a precaution and have since had a period so not concerned about pregnancy. But my health anxiety is playing up big time about STI. I've spoken with him and he's showed me the text he had from his most recent test showing he's clear and he's not been with anyone since, I've no reason to think I've got one and I've never had an STI, but despite this I'm going out of my mind with worry particularly as I breastfeed. I've been tested but the wait is three weeks and it's excruciating, I can't function, I keep feeling suicidal and full of regret and imagining getting a text message saying I've got something.

Can anyone talk me down please, I can't cope.

Thank you.

To be honest, this is something you need medical attention for. It sounds like you’re really struggling right now, and I think you’re making yourself feel worse by envisioning worst case scenarios or even by posting on here in case others tell you worst case scenarios.

I think just try and put it to bed until you get results. Tell yourself that treatment for STIs exist but you can explore that, if needed, when the time comes in the future, if it ever does. It’s not the end of your life, whatever the results say.

Yes I'm in the UK. I asked if there was any chance of getting them sooner but they said there was such a backlog at the moment there was nothing they could do to speed them up.

Health anxiety is the absolute worst. You need to seek help for this, you can learn to manage this so that it doesn’t control your life.

However, (and this won’t help you at all but you need to know) the incubation period for some STIs is over three months, so you will need to be tested again in a couple of months.

Oh goodness you poor thing. It's one thing telling your brain it will be ok but another turning that terror off. Please reach out to your GP for help with the health anxiety as it sounds like you are struggling with that first and foremost.

Just remind yourself that even of it comes back with something which is very unlikely it can all be treated and it sounds like the bloke was honest with you and is checked out recently so very unlikely.

Okay, first of all, remember this: "everyone has sex", and many have one night stands etc etc. Please breathe out. It is reassuring that that person was sharing results with you. That's good.

Now. If I were you I would pay for private testing and would get it out of my mind. A lot of STIs are treatable too.

Do you have any symptoms at all? If not, that's really good and most likely that you are in the clear for things like herpes for example.

A month ago is a good number of days passed to check for HIV etc so just go on, get tested so you can breathe.

Reach out to your GP too and explain how you feel, they might help you with an appointment. And do not beat yourself up, you are a human. And most likely you will be okay.

Oh god, I didn't know that. I feel like this nightmare is never going to end. I just want to disappear.

Thank you. I can't afford a private test, I've had a look at them. But as someone above said the incubation time for some STIs is three months I don't think I'll get peace of mind until I have one then. This is unbearable.

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources.

You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Never heard of this 3 month thing. I think you're being frightened unnecessarily. Ive never been advised by the GUM clinic to go back after 3 months.

I've looked it up and it does seem to be correct in relation to HIV, unfortunately.

I work in sexual health. The most common STIs are bacterial. It’s no big deal. If you have one, and you might, you just take a course of oral antibiotics or get a jab. It’s really not worth tying yourself in knots about. Even the less common but more serious ones like syphillis or Hep C can be treated now. Do get help for your anxiety and yes, do re-test in a few months as advised by the clinic as you do need to wait out the incubation period. But it’s not worth doing this to yourself over having to take some antibiotics.

Please try not to worry, you probably don’t have anything but even if you do the main thing is you’ve been tested so if you have got anything it’ll be identified and you can be treated. Most STIs clear up quickly once treated so even if you have something it doesn’t have to be a big deal.

I would question it with GUM clinic. Also, it can show up after 1 month too. So I would test at 1 month (take it as a reassurance) and then at 3 months.

Also, I know you are probably catastrophising but please please remember that HIV these days is super treatable. Even if it is the worst case scenario (which I doubt) you will be absolutely fine. Heck, I'd take HIV over some of the other illnesses any day.

It can all be sorted.

Don't panic and get into GUM clinic as soon as possible. Perhaps look of you can attend one slightly further away if yours is booked up.

I am sure everything will be fine.

A lot of other STIs are very treatable ans eith antibiotics that are safe for babies

Thank you. I must admit HIV hadn't crossed my mind until I posted on this thread. I'm really spiralling. No one in real life to talk to as I'm so embarrassed. I just want to disappear so much, I can't believe all of this stress for two minutes of sex. Wish I could turn back time.

OP this thread isnt doing you any good. You're probably fine and cant change anything in the meantime. Uncertainty is a complete bitch but you will almost certainly be free of anything.

Oh OP, we've all done it. We are human. Why would you be embarrassed? I am sure you had your reasons, probably liked the person or were attracted to him. You will be fine. You are most likely absolutely fine and clear of any STI.

Also, this is from NHS website about HIV testing: "The blood test is the most accurate test and can normally give reliable results from 1 month after infection."

Thanks everyone for your comments. I do need to get a handle on my anxiety, I haven't been able to eat properly for a long time due to this, living off coca cola and vaping, I realised this morning I can't remember when I last washed my hair, I just feel such a mess.

When I apply logic, I know the chances of me having something are miniscule. He's shown me evidence of his negative sti status and when I sent a message saying how anxious I was he even sent me proof of his previous partners negative status to ease my mind more. I think it is most likely health anxiety rearing it's ugly head but until I get conclusive negative results I will find it hard to calm down.

Having a major panic today after waking up with an itchy spot down there, I seriously just want to die. I'm sure I've had this before and it was an ingrown hair or something but I can't calm down, I feel like I need to be sedated until I can get my results after three months have passed. I don't know what to do anymore, I am just a shell and spend every day thinking about it, googling it and going to sleep as soon as my children do as I can't bear to think about it.

I opened up to the man and he's now even sent me a photo of his negative HIV test to reassure me. All of this stress for two minutes of sex. Why.

It's great that he's clear op that should reassure you. Do you think you're maybe focusing on worrying about the sti thing as you're somewhat feeling negative about having sex with this guy? If you're feeling a bit emotional or worried or regretful it could be manifesting in you obsessing over this although you know the chances of you having anything are very slim.

I do have health anxiety generally but this is the worst it has ever been. I think it's partly the being unable to have instant knowledge of a negative result and the prolonged wait, and I suppose it's also the fact that I can't just ring my mum up and vent to her and be reassured, she'd be so disappointed in me (I know, I'm 35!). I don't really feel regretful about the sex. Well, I do about the lack of condom as that was sheer stupidity on my part. In fact, despite my worrying and probing him he's asked to see me again, but all this stress has made me feel like closing up shop!

In the very unlikely event you have a STI, they are all treatable.

To be honest OP, you surely must be able to see
1.your concerns are not rational
2.this thread isn’t helping you

all you are looking for is confirmation bias.