Do your kids ever see you crying?

[PurpleOne]

I don't think I'm going to be able to hold it all in before their bedtime.

Feeling so vile.

Yes. Not often, but yes.

What's bothering you the most?

I don't think so. I clearly remember my mum crying hard once when I was around 3 after some family argument (no idea what about) and I wouldn't want my dcs to see me that upset - it must have made a big impression on me that I remember it so clearly 40 years later...

yes, i dont think its too much of a bad thing.
I never saw my mum cry and i grew up thinking it was something to be ashamed of and that she was some kind of emotion-less superhuman.

Yes, every now and then I cry in front of my son. We're human and humans cry sometimes.

All the bloody time but he's only 8 months so thankfully he just laughs at me (or sometimes starts crying too which is terrible).

I used to see my mum crying occassionally (if something bad happened to someone in the family or when her mother died). I don't think it's always a bad thing. Yes it made us sad but it also made us realise that mummy has feelings too. I think if you need to cry, it's probably best to let it out rather than bottle it up.

Yes my kids see me cry, i think it's a good thing as we're all humans & humans cry....

In fact they have seen me cry twice today

Yes my children have seen me cry. Try not to cry in front of them as it upsets them, but it happens sometimes. As scooby says, we're only human.

Yep, DS1 gets all huggy and faffs round me, DS2 is another matter (it is usually him that sets me off).

Like tonight. His words were as the tears ran down my face - "and you can cry as much as you like 'cos I ain't bothered".

Needless to say he was sent to bed, although DH did not realise that the bed had been stripped today and the duvet cover and pillow case etc have not been put back on yet.

By the way DS2 is 8 and is being a real pita at the moment.

I cried in front of my DSDs last week... Just had a really crappy day and was feeling emotional...

They were playing up beforehand and were angels afterwards...

I don't think it really matters as long as they don't feel directly responsible for your happiness, IYSWIM... we all have bad days!

Everywhere I seem to turn, there is just nothing anymore.

It's just me and the DD's. Never felt so lonely in my whole life, as I do right now.

Oh purpleone. I felt exactly the same when I started a thread on here a week or so ago. I think motherhood is the hardes and most isolating and lonely thing I have ever done. How old are your dd's? Have you got any friends or family you could phone?

Hi MAMJ.

That's just it. There is no friends or family left anymore. Aside from all the creditors and people wanting money out of me, my phone never rings.
My dd's are 13 and 10 now and establishing their little place in the World, and I'm sat here on the same shelf watching it all pass me by.

The last 8 months or so have been hell.

What do you do when your daughters are in school?

Purple, your daughters are beautiful, and your hair is the same colour as mine Although your hair looks nice!! mine went a bit wrong

To echo what janni said, what do you do when the girls are at school? Thats a long time to have to brood on things. Is there anything you think you might like to do with that time? Work? Volunteering? Walking? Gardening? Whatever floats your boat - make a list, find out whats possible.

Ah, I know how you feel. A lot of my friends have been lost lately.

Could you not arrange to go out and meet new people? When I felt shit last week, people advised me to get out and about as much as possible. It does help. Is there on or two friends that you miss in particular? Perhaps you could phone that one person and just let them know that you miss them. If not, then new friends are always good!

Don't feel that you are just sat on the shelf darlin! You are a mummy and have spent the last 13 years doing the most important job int he world. You have prepared your daughters to establish their place in the world, that means you have done a brilliant job.

Do you work? If not, would you like a part time job? It might enable you to meet new people. or at least talk to adults for a change? I really miss working and actually interacting with other people!

Yes.

I think they need to know mummy is human.

Although DD asks why I am crying and I tell her I'm just tired... so now if I cry she gives me a hug and tells daddy I need to go to bed

Aww purple, just checked your pictures. They really are beautiful! I want a girl now!

Yeah, I do work part time cleaning houses during the day.
In the night when the dd's are in bed, I work as an alter ego chat line operator.

The rest of the time is spent struggling to do my own housework.

I have tried ringing my family, dd's leave messages on their ansa machine all the time and they never call back. I've sent emails and cards...nothing returned.
My best friend of 22 years, I left her an ice breaker note on her FB and she hasn't replied either. She rang me pissed one night and told me I'm fat lazy and selfish and a shit mother!
I work 2 jobs to pay off £5,000 of debt, my kids are clean, fed and clothed. She slagged me for 'swanning off' to Los Angeles last year, yet I saved hard for that.

Talk about being kicked while your down. I've even thrown all my AD's away just now, as I don't trust myself. Feeling very wobbly.

Purpleone you sound like you need to do something for yourself. Do you have anything you do during the day? Work? Volunteering? Being a mum is so tough - and being a lone mum even tougher- I struggle with one DS and a DH to help out. It sounds like a cliche but you should be proud that you have brought up two lovely daughters.

My mum used to cry in front of me quite a lot when I was little and I think its OK. She was a lone parent and you need someone to talk to - you are only human. I'm sure she held a lot back too until we were in bed.

Is there anything you could do to meet people or just do something you enjoy?

I only ever cried in front of my DCs once, but it was because of an excruciating toothache. I was kneeling on the kitchen floor, holding my jaw and rocking. They were appalled and stood with their mouths open, staring, until DD said, "Mummy, are you going to die?" Now it's behind closed doors.

Cried in front of my 20mo DD today. Was feeling crap and ill.

First of all she thought I was playing a game and kept moving my hands away from my eyes and saying "boo".

When she twigged I was crying she said "ah!!" put her arms around me and gave me a big cuddle and a kiss. I don't think she was remotely freaked out that I was crying - she just did what I do with her when she crys

Right missy - straight back down the doctors tomorrow for a new pack of pills, you dont want to be coming off of those in this frame of mind. If you dont trust yourself, then you need to talk to someone in real life.

You sound like a really motivated person actually. Is there a way you could maybe turn the house cleaning into something profitable maybe your own little business - id quite like to do something like that. But i have to say, im really quite intrigued about the alter ego chat line operator. Do you really make money at that?? I would be soooo good at that, seriously. You must tell me about it.