What one thing transformed your mental health?

[Alifemoreordinary123]

Ok so maybe ‘transformed’ is a bit strong, and maybe one things isn’t enough, but what was your turning point if you’ve had poor MH in the past?

I’ve just been reading my ‘line a day’ memory book back and it’s made me realise how miserable I am.

I have no major trauma, nothing life threatening, no major money worries going on but I feel consistently sad, unmotivated and down. I have two under 8s, work 34 hours in a high pressured job, do most of the childcare and house / life admin. My situation with DH is a whole other thread but not the thing I’m looking to change. I am a natural pessimist and have suffered from moderate anxiety my whole life. But I feel completely burnt out / worn out at the moment. My health is constantly failing (mild / moderate stuff going on), I wake feeling tired every day (I do have low iron), I’m irritable and feel so bored with life. I have a few friends but not tonnes of heartfelt connection, I’m learning an instrument and walk a bit but no major exercise, eat ok. I just can’t seem to get into any routine. I also find the constant mess of my DH and DC unbearable to the point I want to get rid of all the ‘stuff’. We have so much and it’s all too much. I don’t think this is perimenopause btw, it’s been coming for a few years post my second baby and I don’t think I’m peri yet.

Thanks for listening to my rant and I would love to hear your positive stories.

Place marking

How old are you? You may well be peri. It can be 10 years!

A very good friend died! Suffered a 2 year illness and I helped with his end of life care.

Yoga

Saying 'no' more often.

Finding a community; being around like-minded people with a shared interest is so up lifting. Eating well; really considering what I am putting in my mouth and how that will nourish my body. Walking. Swimming and or being around water, very calming. Getting adequate sleep. It all sounds pretty boring but doing these things consistently really can work. Not doing things I don't want to do solely for the benefit of other people (my own children excluded). Also, I identify with the amount of stuff getting you down, I went on a decluttering mission, just start with 10 mins a day and that has been life changing. When you have less stuff & your remaining stuff has a proper home, you have more space to breathe.

Realising that there was no ultimate destination involving perfect mental health and focusing on the journey day by day. Appreciating the smallest moments of joy. Allowing myself to feel depressed and anxious. Naming my feelings and accepting them.

New sensory stuff like: try a fruit/veg/drink/recipe you've never had before; listen to different music/radio station; explore free online fitness techniques - yoga, bootcamp, dance, tai chi or a new move/challenge in one you already do (proper press ups/ headstand etc)

New wellbeing stuff: try online free meditation, breath work or tapping; try journalling, fasting or raw veg for a day. Try watching the full stage sets of comedians whose you don't know. There are loads free on Netflix or Amazon Prime.

New things that scare you: rescue a spider, have a cold shower, sort out you rpension/tax returns without help (these were some of mine. You are probably more of a grown up than this! )

New things that don't fit with your or society's understanding of who you are/should be. Maybe not age appropriate or in line with your usual views or habits - I climbed a tree for one challenge. I am not very agile or brave at all, but got quite high up and felt unbelievably happy about it. That was unexpected! I went to some hipster drumming and dance sessions that were way more fun than I imagined. Nice people. I went to a Quaker meeting and sat in silence. I co-wrote an app with a friend.( I am not techy at all - couldn't even download an app when I started the challenge - my teens used to download them for me!) I took up sudoku as I was so bad at maths and couldn't imagine ever succeeding at number puzzles. I bought random books of poetry on amazon and read them in the bath.

It's all just an experiment. If anything gives you a boost, stick with it or do something similar. If it doesn't, you have learned that this is not something that works for you. What it definitely does is shift something in you, if you stick at it.

@Flyhigher 41 but I don’t think it’s peri. I’ve always been prone to pessimism, anxiety and being down - things have just got worse recently.

Placemarking.

Aw I do feel so sorry for teachers they have so much to deal with and not enough pay

Love your suggestions @Meadowwild

Therapy (compassionate inquiry approach)
Journalling
Yoga
Running
Meditation
Breathwork
Massively reducing eating UPF
Vit D

Integrating all of these has helped. Some are easier to access/achieve than others.

2 things. I read how to do everything and be happy by Peter Jones. I got a bullet journal - nothing fancy or artistic, just functional. May I suggest you try journalling and writing 3 positive things that happened each day.

When I worked in a toxic environment as a young woman and was being bullied an Older wiser colleague told me if it wasn't me it would be someone else . Don't take it personally. It's them not you .

Realising I can't control other people and to-let go of people and situations can't control .

Stop caring so much and do what was right for me and stop people pleasing

In short get more self serving and put no 1 first s lot more .

This. And finding coaching techniques to change how I thought. Sadly therapy made me worse, I ended up in spirals of doom. Coaching approached things in a more pragmatic way which allowed me to view myself differently.

Meditation also helped enormously.

Me too! In fact I’ve joined two (one with the teenager so we can go together). I have a serious mood disorder and going to the gym makes such a massive difference.

Sleep. Figuring out how to get enough of it.

I can identify with almost everything you've said.
I gave up alcohol this year and it's made an enormous difference so far. I still have a long way to go, it hasn't been a magic cure but I feel so much lighter/less anxious and more emot

Emotionally stable and resilient.
I'm now trying to focus on daily walks, pilates and eating better. It does take time to change habits though and when I'm short on sleep everything is much harder.

One thing?
Improving my health.

Sub divided into Losing weight, eating much healthier diet, exercise and getting fit, cutting down on alcohol (from a moderate within guidelines habit to a small amount Fri and Sat only), spending much more time out of doors.

Endorphins: up. Self esteeem: up. Sense of nurturing myself through healthy habits: up . Self confidence: up. Better sleep: up. Compliments from others: up.

I started bit by bit, 'Just one thing' style. One better habit fuelled the impetus to start the next.

Antidepressants and mood stabilisers are the only things that help. Nothing else worked for me.

Exercise and daylight.

Cutting out alcohol completely. It’s been night and day. Anxiety = gone!