What one thing transformed your mental health?

[Alifemoreordinary123]

Ok so maybe ‘transformed’ is a bit strong, and maybe one things isn’t enough, but what was your turning point if you’ve had poor MH in the past?

I’ve just been reading my ‘line a day’ memory book back and it’s made me realise how miserable I am.

I have no major trauma, nothing life threatening, no major money worries going on but I feel consistently sad, unmotivated and down. I have two under 8s, work 34 hours in a high pressured job, do most of the childcare and house / life admin. My situation with DH is a whole other thread but not the thing I’m looking to change. I am a natural pessimist and have suffered from moderate anxiety my whole life. But I feel completely burnt out / worn out at the moment. My health is constantly failing (mild / moderate stuff going on), I wake feeling tired every day (I do have low iron), I’m irritable and feel so bored with life. I have a few friends but not tonnes of heartfelt connection, I’m learning an instrument and walk a bit but no major exercise, eat ok. I just can’t seem to get into any routine. I also find the constant mess of my DH and DC unbearable to the point I want to get rid of all the ‘stuff’. We have so much and it’s all too much. I don’t think this is perimenopause btw, it’s been coming for a few years post my second baby and I don’t think I’m peri yet.

Thanks for listening to my rant and I would love to hear your positive stories.

Actually realising that I needed to talk to someone totally unconnected with all the rubbish that has gone on in my life. Those Talking Therapies sessions helped me become aware of who and what was necessary for me in my life.
Dropping certain people from my life has reinforced this - that does not mean I don't miss them but in myself I am much calmer, less stressed and over a year later now really couldn't give two s*s about them.

I know you said you are not here to discuss your relationship, but for me it was ending my marriage - turned out I wasn’t depressed I was simply married to a shit.

Having something to look forward to, be that something to watch on telly or a weekend away or just spending £10 or treat type foods on Ocado!

@NuffSaidSam i am craving a community. Something that’s not the school mums, who I like but whose relationships will evaporate when our children move on. Just not sure whether to join a community or create one. And it feels tiring. And I don’t know that I will fit in.

Also, talking to myself as I walk around the garden alone at night time. Not easy to get much alone time with working full time and two children and a pain of a negative husband but just taking a little time for myself.

@qwertyasdfgzxcv you sound like my kinda person! Just the sort of thing I would do.

I have a feeling this could be the answer for me as well as OP! I wonder if she feels that taking that step could lead to other problems though

A gratitude guided journal (off Amazon). Using the prompts for 10 mins morning and evening changed my negative thought patterns and made me focus on what I am grateful for and all the silver linings. Was honestly a game changer and if I feel myself slipping back I dig it out for a few days. Soon puts me back on track.

Working a 9 day fortnight. I still do the same number of hours but over 9 days. It has vastly improved my mental health. Difficult to express how much.

@qwertyasdfgzxcv it’s tricky. Very aware that the grass might be greener. But yes it’s probably part of the solution (but not the whole solution).

@GoogleWhacking thats amazing. My work pattern is part of the problem - I work around the children (they struggle with after schools clubs). So I get the worst of every world - part time (technically) but over 5 days and increasingly working evenings as the work is so difficult and my days are disproportionately impacted by meetings.

Sounds like me but the gym has definitely improved my mental health

Honestly, I think there are things you can do to boost your mental wellbeing and if you’re able to do those things and they help, great. But for me, when I’m actually mentally unwell, meditation is the main thing that has helped me to feel better.

Finding out I had Hashimoto's disease and getting on thyroid medication!!

Antidepressants.

That was supposed to be medication, not meditation 🤦‍♀️
I wish meditation worked for me

Never lie to yourself. Sometimes you need to put on a front to other people and that's fine, but admit to yourself if you made a wrong choice, your relAtionship isn't working, you hate your job etc. because if you don't feel it consciously it will eat away at you.

multivitamins, cod liver oil, fish oils, grinko bibloia, b vitamin complex, all helped to temper my emotions and feelings

Six months of exercising consistently.

Quitting teaching! Such a huge weight lifted from my chest. I can breathe normally and don’t need to live on beta blockers anymore.

I resonate with the ‘too much stuff’ thing too. I feel like I can never actually get my house properly tidy because I’m basically just ramming things in cupboards for it all to come back out within hours! I joined a Facebook decluttering group and it talks about how you don’t lose anything by giving away things taking up space in your house, but you do gain mentally from it

A cliché, but zero alcohol for a long time (4 months). I've quit because I needed to focus on my new, very intense job.. and was surprised how many of my life problems have disappeared - no anxiety, no taking forever to fall asleep, not being irritated by my toddler.

No alcohol is truly the best medicine for stress and anxiety.

If you have situational depression you may have to bite the bullet and change the situation.

Did all the recommended things. What made a real difference was a prescription for Venlafaxine + Mirtazapine.

Moreover, it's easier to go to the gym, organise a weekend away, etc, when your meds have saved you from feeling like every step is uphill through thick mud.

What kind of ‘new’ things did you do each day? Think I’d be stuck for ideas but it sounds like a lovely thing to do.

Running