What one thing transformed your mental health?

[Alifemoreordinary123]

Ok so maybe ‘transformed’ is a bit strong, and maybe one things isn’t enough, but what was your turning point if you’ve had poor MH in the past?

I’ve just been reading my ‘line a day’ memory book back and it’s made me realise how miserable I am.

I have no major trauma, nothing life threatening, no major money worries going on but I feel consistently sad, unmotivated and down. I have two under 8s, work 34 hours in a high pressured job, do most of the childcare and house / life admin. My situation with DH is a whole other thread but not the thing I’m looking to change. I am a natural pessimist and have suffered from moderate anxiety my whole life. But I feel completely burnt out / worn out at the moment. My health is constantly failing (mild / moderate stuff going on), I wake feeling tired every day (I do have low iron), I’m irritable and feel so bored with life. I have a few friends but not tonnes of heartfelt connection, I’m learning an instrument and walk a bit but no major exercise, eat ok. I just can’t seem to get into any routine. I also find the constant mess of my DH and DC unbearable to the point I want to get rid of all the ‘stuff’. We have so much and it’s all too much. I don’t think this is perimenopause btw, it’s been coming for a few years post my second baby and I don’t think I’m peri yet.

Thanks for listening to my rant and I would love to hear your positive stories.

This is amazing? How did you choose/find all the new things? This is exactly what I should be doing.

Exercise. Realising I was bored but very busy at work and leaving to take a bit of a risk on something new.

Giving up alcohol. It more than tranformed my mental health. My life is better in every way possible. It took a few go's. But now over 3 years since I drank and I will never go back. I'm no longer a nervous, anxious introvert. I'm confident, content, peaceful and able to cope with everything in a completely different way.

I would also say getting a dog. My dog gets us out on long walks, rail, hail or snow 🤣 and our family spend our weekends outdoors alot. He's also hilarious and brings so much fun to our house now that our kids are teens/pre teens it feels like we have a 'toddler' in the house 🤣 he's the best decision we made for our family.

For me when I was deep in the fog of two young children, exhausted, unmotivated, likely veering into depression territory the thing that turned it around was 'working'. Not going back to work but just using my brain for something I was interested in that was entirely for myself.

I started click working, match betting surveys. Having a little income was huge at the time, suddenly it was like waking up. I set myself little goals with deadlines. Gave myself a month of daily sessions to learn a new piece of software etc. I now use that software in my real work.

I was not depressed, but suffered burnout and could barely see straight. I was lucky enough to be able to stop working. Long walks, solo or with one other person, have really helped. I currently have my hands full with caring responsibilities, but my nearest and dearest know that I'm only fit and capable if I can get out and walk, so we make sure I can do that. Being married to a really decent man helps enormously!

• a weekly Pilates class
• moving out of London to live by the sea two years ago
• writing in a journal a couple of pages every morning
• listening to 10 minute guided meditation sessions on YouTube
• anti-depressants
• gardening
• walking
• finally cutting out toxic people out of my life.

I have a long history of depression following trauma in childhood/teenage years, so I had to find a routine to help me live again and stay sane...

It was also a big step for me to accept that I was completely burnt out and needed some external, professional help and to slowly regain some self-esteem and clarity. It took for me to hit rock bottom though: I had a complete breakdown that included suicide ideation and that was a real shock and wake-up call.

I also know that my last couple of jobs have been a major issue in term of causing stress so I am not actively looking for something new and to make long term changes in that area.

For my dd it was dumping the shit she was living with. He wasn't the cause of her mental health issues-they went back well before him. But dumping him and moving out gave her such a different view of herself. I really would say it transformed her mental health.0

Running. Not fast or pretty but a lovely beginners club helped me. The physical benefits for MH were great but the achievement of being able to run and run felt huge.

Avoiding people who add no value to my life and have treated me badly .

When I was having intensive psychotherapy my Dr told me two things that were life changing for me.

Happiness is a choice , and choosing to be happy can sometimes be hard. So now I intentionally acknowledge that I am feeling sad/miserable and then intentionally look for something beautiful. Might be a small flower in the garden, clouds in the sky, or a pattern rain makes in the window or even the way cauliflower florets are just so perfectly formed. ANYTHING that is small and in my immediate location. I take the time to really look at it and marvel at its beautiful simplicity. I have also increased the amount of compliments I give out to people, I aim for 5 a day minimum and it was hard at first but now I actually love doing it. I compliment passing women on their hair or their clothes, whatever it is that I notice and think "that's lovely!". People ALWAYS smile at a compliment and it's really hard not to smile back at them, it makes a huge difference and it's all from looking for things that make you happy/are lovely. Plus it's nice to give other women that little lift.

The other one is that misery is useless, so make it useful. If im really low and nothing else is helping I force myself to do something. Could be crochet, cleaning , whatever. But I make my misery useful. When I'm feeling better, atleast I've done something with that time and that negativity has still been productive.

Thanks all - I’ve read through your answers and I’m going to chart those things that most of you said and give it a go. Really appreciated

Psilocybin

Job change.
I think if you are suffering burnout at work, small changes are tinkering around the edges.
And making time for friends, but having energy outside work was what made that possible.

Yoga. For an hour a week in my class I am free and calm

Green space. Just look closely at a plant or tree if you can't get out properly.

Cycling. It's so fun. Real exhilarating feeling of going 'whee!' like a kid. I have an ebike so I don't have that grotty feeling of dreading steep hills (there are lots where I live).

Choir. One where you don't have to be good. I never come away feeling worse, and it often puts me more in touch with my feelings. If you can't get to choir, just sing a lot around the house. The reverberations through your body are good for you.

Oh and knitting. Proven to help mental health. Something to do with repetitive handwork helping the brain to process things. And it doesn't matter a bit if what you make is shit, but if it's half good then you'll feel lovely every time you wear it.

Dogs, the great outdoors and a wonderful husband and family.

Forgiving myself
Self-compassion
Telling myself that the past happened and I can't change it so no point fretting and getting upset over what I did and didn't do
Keeping a diary. How the weather is, what I did, random musings on my childhood and DM, how my mood is
Three things I'm grateful for every day, even if it's just being able to pick up a pen and write
Eating better
Meditation

In the last few weeks I can really feel that something has shifted and lightened in my head. I feel freer and loser (and a side benefit is that I no longer lose my temper at silly things)

I love your post @WitchyBits , especially complimenting people. Some of them look so surprised and pleased.

A rest in the day.

Most days it turns in to a nap but I sit down with a blanket, drink, book and turn my phone off instead of taking a lunch break (I eat on the go, I WFH)

Life is stressful with a constant stream of things to cope with. A rest in the day helps me enormously to cope with the load.

People are hard for me to connect with and in realising this, I've found so much peace in knowing that I don't have to have a social circle. I've been like this my whole life. It's only now that I am true to myself about this. But that's how I am made. For me, nice, small chats with people on walks or behind the till are fuel for the soul. That's enough connection for me and about all I can handle.
Be true to how you are made. My aunt used to say, live in truth. I understand what that means. Took time.

Meditation.
Music. A lot of music. Music is everything.
My daily dog walks are my therapy.
I cycle everywhere. That's a wonderful, liberating way to navigate my small world.

@SerenityNowInsanityLater you'll probably enjoy this. It's one of my favourite blogs

Ed to add link 🤦‍♀️

https://zenhabits.net/simple-living/

Medication and also being truly loved by someone (I've since lost that relationship so am struggling very badly).

-Being told by a therapist about things I was doing wrong and how to change my attitude.

-A guy dying. He was a massive detriment to my mental health when he was alive.

-Dropping a day work when i had my first child.

@SerenityNowInsanityLater I love this, it would feel like a relief to accept this

@UmbrellaEllaEllaElla sending good support vibes to you, I am so sorry you are struggling. Hope you are able to reach out to someone