Total writers' block when trying to apply for job

[EvenMyWashingMachineCommittedSuicide]

I'm off sick with stress after becoming suicidal at work and am trying to apply for a different job. I went for informal chat with the recruiter and he told me to use the covering letter to say why I want the job and use my CV to show my skills match. This stops me from using previous letters I've written as templates. Closing date is Monday.

All I keep doing is staring at the screen at the seven short list items I made. I can't figure out how to turn them into a letter. I'm late-diagnosed autistic and have never been able to write essays at school, was taken out of English Lit because I was going to fail it even though I got As in Maths and the three sciences.

I'm still suicidal, keep thinking of jumping under trains (train drivers who want to berate me for selfishness needn't bother because you won't be decreasing my chances of doing so), but I just don't have time to be mentally ill right now because I need to write this application. But I can't get past it, keep bursting into tears, have even gone completely numb for DCat who, in normal times, I dote on. And other stuff keeps going wrong: my username isn't a joke, my washer actually broke down today.

My family, I'm either estranged or 200+ miles from, and they don't understand me anyway, so I can't ask them for help.

I need this job because my current job will leave me dead, but I just can't write the fucking letter. I can't remember what I talked about with to the recruiter bar what I already mentioned. The only answer I have right now to "why do you want this job?" is "it's not my current one", but five days ago I had reasons, I just can't remember them.

Use chatGPT and then edit what it writes. It’s easier to edit than look at a piece of paper.

Plug in a few key points, get it to rewrite as many times as you need.

Good luck

Second vote for chat gpt. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is have a good night sleep too OP, can sometimes be easier to get in the flow when fresh in the day.

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources.
You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

I'm re-reading the job description with a screenreader because my eyes keep jumping all over the page.

The washing machine repairer comes on Tuesday so at least that will be resolved.

I think talking into a dictaphone for subsequent transcription and then chucking the transcript at Grammarly, ChatGPT, or both might be a way forwards.

You have started now, so the worst bit is over. Well done for that! Keep going and keep updating here until it is done.

Hiya, I find that works brilliantly op, just get it down in audio in words in rough format, then put it into chat GPT. I literally type..

Improve it: followed by what I wrote.

It's been really helpful for me (adhd and probably autistic).

I relate to a lot of what you wrote. Please remember this is situational, you are loved. Work stress is horrible. I have sometimes called the Samaritans when it is too much, 95% of the time it has helped.

I too have work to do this weekend and my oven broke. One other thing I find helps when I need to do brain work is to eat a lot of carbs (plus protein and healthy fats but not scrimping on the carbs).

I also use Focus Mate for body doubling accountability.

Anyway, signing up to offer you support. I have a Monday deadline too, so will help me too selfishly.

Me to ChatGPT: You, my new friend, are why one day the robots will rule the world.

ChatGPT: Thank you for the kind words! I'm glad I could help.

I was not expecting it to understand my joke and that "the robots" meant it and AIs like it, much less interpret it as a compliment served up as a joke. We're all doomed, aren't we? Perhaps that's why my washer gave up the ghost.

Still struggling, but the washer gets fixed on Tuesday

I've asked a former colleague to review my draft so far.

ChatGPT had some strange choices of wording and also gave me a qualification that I don't actually have 😂but it broke through the writers' block.

I'm glad you are making progress and finding some humour. You've got a draft etc ready now so could you try to get some sleep and then look again with fresh eyes in the morning? Go to bed on a positive and crack on tomorrow morning. You're taking huge steps when you're still unwell and it's so hard. I know when I felt like that even looking at jobs made me feel panicked and down, so you've done brilliantly to get an application drafted

Via help from a human friend, ChatGPT, and Grammarly, it is submitted.

I'm going to drink alcohol and sleep in that order.

Well well done! I found additional pages for mine so it's still going. Early start for me!

And the washer is revived, thanks to a skilled technician who wants £68. (bargain)

Yay! That's great, well done.