To not be able to cope

[Zombieof3]

I can’t do this, I’m finding it really difficult.
My partner has just gone back to work and is working a lot at the moment and we can’t afford to not have him working but I have long days with the kids and I’m exhausted. I work full time myself and I’m feeling really burned out.

Today I had planned to clean my house as it’s in desperate need for it but how do I do that when I have three kids and my youngest two just argue constantly. It doesn’t help I’m not very well either and I’ve got the house to sort out, loads of washing to do for uniforms and to bath all the kids and myself.

to everyone else this is just life and yet I can’t do it. I’m sat in the kitchen trying to hide my crying from the kids as all they’re doing is arguing and fighting. How do I do this, how do people do this? Why am I so crap at being a human or am I just lazy

Talk to the doctor. See if you can get signed off for a couple of weeks, as well as review your meds, and maybe even some counselling.

Your goal for today is everyone fed and uniforms for tomorrow. Everything else can wait.

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. I would focus on today/what needs to be done for tomorrow, nothing further. Explain to the children that you are not feeling very and they need to help today. Give them very specific tasks they can easily do each. put a timer 10 or 15 minutes on. then everyone can have a bath, then they can have their screens back. Concentrate just on what needs to be done for tomorrow. Then either go out or separate them in the house to stop arguing. Do you have any friends or family you could reach out to? Samaritans if that helps to talk to someone today. I hope life gets easier for you very soon.

Do you have a family member that can come over and entertain the children while you get some stuff done? Even if not today is it something you can do in the future?

Thank you all for your advice, I really appreciate it and I’m sorry I’m just going on, I’m just finding it so hard right now.

unfortunately there’s no one I have to help, it’s just me and my partner for the most part and my sister but she is also in work. I’m just so exhausted, my middle child is currently doing my make up to keep her quiet. I’m going to put a film on and then run a bath for myself and hopefully that will help. I don’t think it helps that I’m feeling so run down anyway and then when my partner said he’s working everyday until Thursday just broke me as it means I have to work full day and manage all the children, it feels very unfair and I’m so burned out. I don’t think I can do it tbh, the thought of it is enough to make me cry

Sending hugs. Maybe you need to take some sick leave so you can see the GP and have some time to yourself while the kids are at school.

In terms of housework, when I feel overwhelmed I think I will do 15 mins in one room and I set a timer. Then I do the same in another room. Then I have a cuppa. It is amazing what you can actually achieve in 15 minutes. Its a trick from The Fly Lady who has a system for getting your home ready for visitors. 15 mins x 3 then a break and repeat. I often use the idea to get me moving even if I just do a couple of rooms.

You have got this. It will be okay 💐

The timer thing van also work with kids too. “Right I am going to set a timer for 15 minutes and we are going to see how much tidying we can do in that time!” Give them an area (split up the ones who fight) and “Go!”

For now, just do the bare minimum.

Frozen food for tea.
Wash only the things you need like uniform and work clothes.
Only clean what desperately needs to be cleaned.

Why not take a day or 2 off from work if you’re feeling unwell anyway?

And either use that time to sleep/get better or to blitz the home.
(If you can get 2 days off that would be ideal)

When I’m struggling to clean I always put my headphones on and listen to an audiobook, podcast or music.

Its amazing how much easier it is when you are in your own world with your headphones on.

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources.
You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Are you honest with your sister? Ask for help wherever you can, except for your youngest, that includes your children pitching in.

You sound like you have burn out - like carers burn out.

You need a break even a short one to reset. You must prioritise this even though it seems impossible.

Can your partner take over for a weekend so you can get a bit of time to yourself - a night away somewhere or your sistr?