I can't cope anymore

[Wantthistoend]

Everything is awful.

My boyfriend is ghosting me and it's killing me. Our relationship is probably terrible and not good for me but I'm so lonely and can't believe he could do this to me when he knows how much it hurts me.

My few friends are probably getting fed up with me being so depressed all the time.

I'm plagued with intrusive thoughts about stuff I've done in the past and I can't bear it.

I feel like I have nowhere to turn and my only way of dealing with things is by taking drugs, self harming, drinking and planning how to end it.

I went to visit my mum yesterday and she was abusive to me as usual.

I don't know what to do anymore.

How long have you been with your boyfriend? Is there anyone in real life you could reach out to?

Only about six months. Everyone in real life is sick of hearing about it. It's not the first time and I keep going back for more. I can't stop loving him and I don't know why. He picks me up and drops me really easily.

Hugs to you. But realise that the drugs and drinking etc are making things worse; whilst we feel a buzz after a drink etc you will crash later after the high.

Treat yourself with kindness and compassion and respect, don’t abuse self with drugs etc. You are worth more than that. As for the abusive mother, limit contact, put boundaries in place to safeguard your mental health.

I just want to hurt myself all the time. I don't deserve compassion or kindness. I am completely unlovable

All I can think about is how I'm going to get rid of myself. I can't because of my cat. But I want to.

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected].

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Best wishes from MNHQ