Relationship broken I am broken

[helpo]

I am in a terrible place I really need to be dead.
I need to find a way out.

OP it sounds like you have been having a tough time, what happened?

@helpo sorry to hear that. Do you want to talk about what happened? X

Keep posting Op.

I'm sorry, I hope the pain starts to ease for you very soon

Long story. I'm not blameless. But the last four years I've been mentally beaten up.
Husband is hardworking. I've fallen off a cliff mentally. I'm doing nothing now.
Daughter is mean to me, she said today we all know you're not mentally stable.
Well she's probably right. But she has added to it. She is so cruel at times. So is he.

Hang on in there Op. It hurts, it's horrendous but it's not forever. It does get easier but you do need to ride the waves of grief. It will get better. I promise.

I just want it all to end. Everyone can get on with their lives. And I'll be at peace. They will have more money and I will be forever at rest.

A lot of shouting in my house. It's horrific.

I don't think that's the answer, OP. This feeling will pass. Hold on. Do you have anyone you can call to help you? If not, you need to speak to a mental health crisis team in your area.

I don't think it's the answer either. You might think it is, but it really isn't. Can you access help in real life?

It's hard. Mental health don't help much. They just say are you safe. Then find a counsellor.
Counsellors say it all takes time.
What have other people found that helps?

It’s never like that. It would affect them for the rest of their lives. I would wait for the storm to quieten and ask for help. Ask your husband and daughter to go with you to the GP and tell them you feel suicidal.

OP people don't just get on with their lives when someone is no.longer there. The pain is intolerable. Take it from.me. Please prioritise your mental well being. Take all available help.

I really really understand people that want to go.
I totally get it. Other people affect you for life aswell. They are both so angry now. They can't possibly be anymore upset. They are heartless. At times. This is how people get bullied mentally. It's as if it's ok to beat up on Mum.

I am not blameless. But still. This is not ok.

I'm sure it is intolerable. This also feels intolerable.

OP, it sounds like maybe you all need a break. Your family love you and you love them. People deal with challenges differently. Are you able to have a bit of time to yourself? Spend a bit of time with other family or friends?

Hi there, @helpo, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek help and support in real life as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly.

I know how you feel OP. This has been me the last few days. I'm here. You're not alone. Keep talking.

I’ve been there OP. Things DO get better and remember, you are a deserving person in your own right on your own, apart from any relationship.

What helped me? I called the GP who was really understanding. I accepted the antidepressants to help me through the rough patch emotionally and get some distance from the horrible feelings.

Then started with somatic therapy and investigated HRT. There will be answers for you and your life will be completely different for the better.

Mediatations I found on YouTube also helped, as did leaning into the situation and accepting it neutrally without trying to “hold on” and fight it or giving it too much power to define me.

I didn’t want to be here either. Then everything changed for the better. Let your partner go. Give your daughter space. She does need you, but importantly you need you right now.

You can do this. Hang in there xx

Keep talking OP, I’ve seen many posts here that have helped many others like you, trust the collective mind, and take it one day at a time, you are not alone x

I'm so sorry you're going through this, OP. Can you stay with any family or an old friend for a few days? It sounds like you desperately need some space away from the family situation. Your husband absolutely should not be bullying you. Your D may just be copying and not coping.

Do you have anyone you could phone about a break away?

Sending sympathy. Something will change and it will get better. I'm speaking from experience. I was where you are 18 months ago, even 13 months ago. The emotional pain becomes physical. I will never let myself get that ill again. It can be so bad it is indescribable. Stick with it. If you are still breathing, this can pass.
Today, miraculously, I am utterly delighted to be alive. I know now that I am loved by a great man and, even more miraculously, by my children, who rejected me so painfully for years under the influence of my corrosive ex.

How on earth did you then find a great man?

How old are you op?

Have you possibly considered it could be peri/menopause?

Maybe try and see a GP for a chat?
My heartfelt sympathies as I was like this for years, until I could stand it no more. I'd have happily jumped into the river as none of my family were helpful and were just adding to the problem and making me, I felt, much worse.

I finally went to see my GP and was so glad I did!!

Xxxxxx

Have you got anyone to speak to?

Do your family know how awful you are feeling?