I think I have prenatal depression, fell it's all too hard and I am struggling to cope.

[sweetkitty]

Can't even be bothered to namechange either.

Am 26 weeks with DD3 a much wanted baby but honestly I feel like throwing myself off a bridge right now well I wouldn't due to the other DDs but every day is such a struggle.

The DDs (3.8 and 2.2) are really difficult right now, one is fine but two together all they seem to do is fight. DD1 will go play somewhere then DD2 will "join in" DD1 won't want her to and start to push her and hit her cue screaming from DD2 or DD2 will have something and DD1 will want it cue more screaming. It's like this all day or so it seems. I'm a referee getting them to "play nice" I know it's not their faults and they do have time apart when DD1 is at nursery and DD2 at her activities but the minute they are back together they clash. Everything seems to be a battle as well, I know it's their age and it's a control thing but even getting them dressed or changing DD2's nappy is a struggle.

The other thing is I have bad SPD/SI pain and it is really getting to me, I'm in pain moving most of the time. Sometimes I feel like I can't make it to the top of the stairs and you can imagine how much rest I get with the two of them fighting non stop. Also if I do sit down they are straight over jumping on top of me, climbing on me, wanting to sit with me, play with me etc which usually is nice but difficult with the bump so I end up losing it and shoving them both off me, cue screaming.

DP is great when he is here but he works 12 hour days, he's also very stressed with a new role at work and the DDs can be up 6 times in the night and he is doing the most of the resettling (as it takes me about 5 mins to get up out of bed) and he's up at 6am so he's knackered and this is coming out with him being grumpy towards me. We have spoke about it and he has said he will try and be a bit better. He does loads around the hosue though and is always telling me off for doing too much so I cannot fault him that way.

Oh and I have no family support so no one that can take the DDs for even an hour.

I knew it would be hard when I was pregnant I knew I would get SPD again so I don't know why I am moaning about it but it's just all so bloody hard right now. I feel like I haven't bonded with DD3 as much as the others I have bought nothing for her and am wondering how the hell I will cope with 3.

Sorry for going on but guess I just need to tell someone.

Ha! They told me second borns were laid back - not ever going to believe anything they say again after that one .

My DD2 has been sleeping through most nights now for 2 months or so - it's lovely.

I was supposed to have an appointment with my psych today but he phoned this morning and cancelled as he has 'flu. Not sure if / when I shall see him next as it's not long until No3 is due.

I wonder how long your fights will last? My two still fight a lot but it was at it's worst when DD2 started to stand up to DD1 in a pretty severe manner. Now DD1 has learnt / is learning that she has to back down a bit. I think it is hard for her to realise that DD2 isn't a baby any more. DD1, being the typical older sister, is incredibly bossy and strong willed. Thankfully she has an incredibly good nature and a very good understanding of things - she has been like that from birth. Problem is the typical 3 year old comes out a bit too often atm .

Sorry X post. Ohhhh, that wouldn't have gone down well with me either. Sometimes I really don't think they remember (or realise) how hard things can be at times. atm my poor DH comes home to hear me ranting and rambling on about god only knows what, he is currently very good and just sits there nodding but he has certainly had his moments in the past where the support has been more than a little lacking. Hoping those days are over, there's nothing like another DC to test him though eh?

Tiredness is going to make things a lot worse for you. If he is genuinely sorry then I think he shouldn't have any problem taking over when he comes back from work tonight. Maybe you could squeeze in that long warm bath you were talking about too - think you deserve it.

Got to go and do 'chores' - hope you have a better evening and night than last night if I don't hear from you before.

Thanks I'm in the middle of those "chores" myself.

The thing is when you have no family to help the two of you really need to pull together when you have young DC and if one of you doesn't it can be hell for the other one IYSWIM.

My DD2 is not laid back at all, she is very strong willed and fiesty, beautiful child when she is happy but tell her no and wait for the fall out. She screams and screams and will bite and hit me if I ignore her. DD1 is your typical little 3yo girl bossy and a madam. The fights have got so physical recently as well. I think their personalities will clash forever more today it's dollies and ponies tomorrow make up and clothes. At least you have a boy on the way, I have yet another girl to fight over dolls!

At least you don't have that long to go, I have another 14 (or 16 weeks of this) and in my darkest moments don't know if I can do it although there is no alternative really.

Anyway have a good one