Anxiety- what therapy would help

[wanttonotworry]

I'm hopefully looking for some help.

I have anxiety. I have always been a worrier even as a child but I would say just usual quiet, shy worried child.

Around 10 years ago ( late twenties) I was experiencing stress at work and recognised my behaviour and reactions wasn't normal! I was given CBT and things calmed down. I was still anxious but it wasn't as bad and I didn't go through as much stress.

4 years ago my DD was born during Covid and my anxiety spiralled.

My anxiety doesn't stop me doing anything but it does ruin all of my enjoyment. I worry about all of the things I can't control.

This weekend I am away for a weekend in Europe with a dear friend for her birthday. The trip has been planned for ages and I spent the weeks before terrified and worried about the flight. Once we arrived I had a lovely 2 days but tommorrow we leave and every minute of the day today I am convinced our flight will be cancelled or the airport will have a melt down and stop flights or we will get stuck in traffic and I won't get on the plane and I won't get home to her and the thoughts made me cry .

DD is with my Dh and they are having a wonderful time. My worries are not to do with how she is but more I just can't wait
To be with her and I'm convinced I won't get home.

I'm so fed up of feeling like this

A few months ago I had some talking therapy on my work and I tried telling the therapist about my thoughts and she told me
As a mother these things are normal but I don't think the level of enjoyment I lose is normal. I only had a few weeks with her but I don't feel it helped

I'm sorry this has been so long but I'm spending today feeling so ridiculously teary because I'm desperate to see my DD tommorrow and I hate that I'm not my usual bubbly self instead I spend the whole time worrying about my flight

Does anyone have any advice? Would a better talking therapist help?

Thanks so much in advance

Could try hypnotherapy - find someone who specialises.

Agree with HoneyButter, find yourself a hypnotherapist, they’ll turn that fretful ceaseless chatter off for you. Further sessions you could investigate the root cause but for a quick fix enough to get you on the plane calm and forward looking a hypno session will do very well. Good luck! And wish you joy of your holiday x

Thank you both! I will look for one the minute I land tomorrow.

I just wish I wasn't so worried today and ruining the last day for a fear of a cancelled flight or any other reason for my flight to not happen.

I just want to give my DD the biggest hug

Might help just a little when these thoughts come, to say to yourself Ah I’m anxious again, I’m going to see a hypno to sort that out this week

I have actually been googling and I think I'm going to use this anxiety filled few moment to email some people and book appointments

It's called catastrophising I think. Always thinking of worse case scenario. Cognitive behavioural therapy helps . Try to think 'I can't do anything about the flights etc. so it's not a problem that is solvable'. If you can't do anything about it, you might as well enjoy your last day! If anxious thoughts come into your brain, imagine them in a bubble and drifting away. I find this helps if I get anxious about things that are actually hypothetical scenarios. I try to think whether I can solve a problem practically or whether it's a hypothetical problem. If hypothetical it's not worth wasting your time worrying as you can change anything. Easier said than done though!

I'm absolutely going to try the bubble thing - thank you

@wanttonotworry Hope it helps! X

Hopefully tommorrow I can update this post and tell you I'm home and with my DD and back to not worrying

So I'm at the airport now just anxiously downing my rescue remedy waiting for my gate to show . I'm so over this. My whole thoughts are currently consumed by fear of the flight .

I have reached out to a hypnotherapist and getting a appointment booked in

This is a great book. You could get it right now on Kindle or audiobook:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B00GHK733Y/ref=tmmkinnswatch0?ie=UTF8&dibbtag=se&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.wbfq0WbqYXGEE-R44bKu5SqVCIiidqaPQ8DFn8Vsidx7fP6aVLlx2EQcDPmfthh75g0wT-Ez5baKc4au5r3xa8xGLbzCv3e8gatQG75ymFKWpCsEz4xVVSk0c4CEZDgI8wl7XgQcERUTmnwfJSkLVtz3UDFMl2Ig4CI0Tgc8yUDO2jn931oEczeugT3s1Zh3TLVClO3IEfgPTJDtfPjA.8yAZDrJbYr3D_77l7fzLHnMuBsipc6DZVSnLz-DHpkQ&qid=1714376270&sr=8-3

hey I was wondering about you! What times your flight?

I would go back to CBT, it is useful for anxiety and it worked for you previously

I do think if you are an anxious type you do have to revisit and keep it up a bit etc

That book Architrave recommended looks good

Hypnotherapy may help but it's certainly not the usual first choice for anxiety. Take time to read a bit rather than jump to the first recommendation on here.

The book linked above is excellent and based on CBT. It helped me hugely.

CBT can be very useful for anxiety when done well. The problem is it's been watered down to be provided cheaply on the NHS.

I found CBT completely useless. It was just telling me stuff I already knew.

Two books which changed the game for me are:

1. Paul McKenna's new book on anxiety (get the audio version- his voice is so soothing)
2. How to stop worrying and start living by Dale Carnegie (it was written yonks ago so will seem a but dated but the advice is amazing)

Both of these books had a significant effect on me and really really helped- loads of practical exercises and basically gave me a good talking to which I needed.

Just to answer the question of should you get a better therapist - yes - I would suggest having another go with someone else and seeing if it is a better fit, especially as cbt helped you before

CBT can be very useful for anxiety when done well. The problem is it's been watered down to be provided cheaply on the NHS

Agree with this and I think it's why it never worked for me. The sessions were so short and most of them were taken up with tedious questionnaires before every session asking me to rate my level of anxiety that day. By the time we went through that which was boring and repetitive, there was only like, 20 mins left. It was honestly utter crap.

I find chamomile and passion flower tea really helps me. It’s supposed to help with sleeping but I take it during the day when I am feeling anxious.

Thanks so much all! I'm downloading the audio book now. My flight is at 10.50 we are just waiting at the gate now . I feel sick with nerves and am absolutely having catastrophic thoughts about the flight

Thanks so much all! I'm downloading the audio book now. My flight is at 10.50 we are just waiting at the gate now . I feel sick with nerves and am absolutely having catastrophic thoughts about the flight

Think about this OP- we always worry that everything will go wrong. Why do we never "worry" that everything will go superbly?

Really think about that. Visualise everything going wonderfully and feel the relief and joy in imagining that. There is just as much chance of things going fantastically as there are not. You get to choose which one you dwell on. So pick the one which brings you peace.

One thing that helped me was worry time. You want to worry?- ok so have at it. Pick a daily time slot to worry until your heart's desire. So pick a time frame of 15 mins every day to worry yourself stupid- eg from 6.15 - 6.30 pm every day. Think of every catastrophic event that could happen - make it as ludicrous, horrific and awful as possible. HOWEVER, the rule is- you can only worry during your worry time and not throughout the day. You dont need to worry during the day as all your worries will be fully and comprehensively examined by you during your daily worry time.

When it gets to 6.15 I guarantee you, you will struggle to fill the time and will get bored before it gets to 6.30pm.

Thank you I will try this on a non flying day it sounds like a really good idea!

I really do know the odds and I google all the statistics to try and reason with myself but still in moments like this it takes over! I wish I wasn't worrying I really do wish the thoughts didn't take over 😭

That was an exercise I used to give patients - you can only worry for a given period of time, after which you ‘lock’ the door on that until tomorrow. Writing it down helps too - but only at your allotted time.

Definitely try cbt again. Try NHS as you may get lucky and get a good therapist, but if not and you can afford to go private, try that. If something diesnt work it's hard to disentangle what is the therapy, what is the therapist, whether its the amount/ frequency of what you have, but cbt is the therapy with best evidence base.

It sounds like you have generalised anxiety disorder, which has a specific treatment (not just general cbt), so ask for that. Good luck!