My life fell apart over Christmas, where to start?

[SuzyStockings]

I can't be bothered to change my name, I don't really care if you know who I am or not. I've had a terrinle few weeks and I feel like I'm going to snap. Like I just can't take life anymore.

I don't know here to start, I can't talk to anyone in RL, the words just wont come. I don't even know what I want to say anyway.

How do you make things better? I don't even know what I'm trying to say now, I just have lost my will to keep going. I've stopped sleeping, I can't face food, when I eat I feel sick. I don't think I'm making any sense sorry, I'll come back to this later.

Thats a step in the right direction Suzy, well done. Keep posting

Hi Suzy,
You have had so many messages I hope you read mine. Do you not have much support around you? This Christmas was just about bareable for me mainly because I broke up with my boyfriend and I don't really get on with my mother. She went abroad anyway.
My mental health is going down the pan (I get scared in my flat) and rubbish like that, but I try and keep it together for my baby. I went to the gp for antidepressants but he is reluctant to give me anymore because of the known side effects.

Hey, if you want to chat let me know x

Hi,

I've only just logged on again since my last post. I haven't felt much like posting, I'm not sure what to say. I'm feeling a bit better at the minute. I didn't manage to get an appointment with my GP at all so I'll have to wait until the 4th now but I am going to go.

Flakecake, you can CAT me anytime if you fancy a chat. I'm a single parent too.

I've had a couple of ok days, even though I didn't do anything on my list. I'm still really stressed about things but feel like posting my original message has been recognition that everything is not ok at the minute.

Thank you so much for all your message, they really mean a lot.

Well I thought I'd let you know that I have a doctors appointment this afternoon.

Actually I'm feeling much better the last couple of days, I got back together with an old flame whi I never quite got over (even though I left him). It was common knowledge around our area that we still 'had feelings' for each other.

The point of me saying that is that it really worries me that this is just a peak and in a couple of days/weeks I'm gonna hit rock bottom again. If my GP gives me AD's will that not happen? what if it doesn't happen anyway? what if he's now the only person holding me up. If he then leaves I'll be worse than before...

Feel really panicky but maybe just nervous about appointment.

Thanks again everyone and especially Blossomhill, you got me talking (as much as I could) and thinking and I really appreciate your perseverance!

Suzy - good luck at the GP. As for whether AD's will stop possible lows I can't say, but for me they definitely gave me the 'distance' to cope with things.

Also at the moment try not to think to far ahead, just take one day at the time without what ifs. I used to drive myself crazy with them ...

{{{hungs}}}

GP made me feel terrible. Basically implied that it was the time of year. Feel really bad because if there's nothing wrong with me why do I feel so rubbish?

Sorry SS, I've only just caught up with this. That's bad of your gp to just brush it off as the time of the year!!! Would you be prepared to make another appt with another gp at your surgery?

The time of the year!? What utter rubbish!!!

try ang get to see a different GP. I know that at my old surgery I was lucky to get the dr. I saw as she 'had been there'... starting career as specialist dr., had 2 kids, pushing pram down the road tears streaming down her face thinking is this it!?. I felt silly for going and admitting that I couldn't cope with DD as so many others seem to be able to. You know what she said! No they don't, many people just don't admit it.

So if you are feeling rubbish then there's something wrong. So what if it's 'non-tangible' and 'mental' (no stigma of mental illness applied here as PND is not a mental illness!)

Good luck and {{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}

SS - is your HV any good? if so, she might be a helpful person for you to talk to.

but also worth going back to another GP to get your thyroid/iron levels checked - as depression/anxiety can be a symptom of thyroid problems/anaemia

I've had my thyroid levels checked a couple of times before once when I was about 17 as I was so lathargic and miserable, once a few years ago shortly before dd. I've also been tested for glandula fever a couple of time, the latest been a few months ago as I kept getting a persistant sore throat and feeling rubbish.

I don't think I want to go and see another doctor now, I feel really stupid. Maybe it is just the time of year.

My HV was always really happy with dd and my development and when I went back to work full time after mat leave I never saw her again - dds last development check was done by whichever hv was on rota so I don't really know her tbh.

Also I don't think it's postnatal. I loved been at home with dd and when I went back to work I took on a lot more responsibility so if anything it's more general stress I think that postnatal. DD is 2yr 6months now.

Thank you all for your posts though.

Suzy ... now that you mention it I seem to remember that I kept coming down with everything around and had a sore throat for ages. This was due to exhaustion, which was caused by lack of sleep and caring for cry baby dd etc.

As I mentioned I felt stupid going to the GP but basically she treated the mind so the body could recover as my body was surviving on adrenaline.

Also I had a few sessions with a holistic reflexologist and he confirmed that I was totaly hyped on adrenaline. So he 'pushed the points' to bring me down, which resulted in me getting really ill because I had nothing to sustain me...

Don't let one stupid GP put you off from seeking help.

DONT FEEL STUPID! it's your health!