Crappy reply to text to socail worker?

[DyslexicPoster]

My son has a disability SW as he has complex needs. I am also trying not to have a nervous breakdown as my dd is on the verge of being expelled. She has a ehcp and ASD. Children with disabilities team (cwdt) have always been very frank they are only involved for ds. But if shit hits the fan with another sibling it effects me and therefore ability to cope with ds.

We have a new sw I have yet to meet. I have spoken to her on the phone and she said I talked to fast and asked if I has ASD. I have no diagnosis.

I had a meeting last week where dd school said its the end of the line for dd. So I said in a text, I can't cope, I seriously want to leave, I'm having a breakdown. The SW just replied 'see you Thursday'

That's cold no? Say I [method redacted by MNHQ], irl that would effect my disabled son no?

She is your son’s disability social worker not your support network. Harsh but true

OP
Sorry to hear about your situations but what else did you expect the lady to say?

If you are very, very desperate give them a call - good luck

Can you call your GP and ask for their crisis line number for the MH team? Or phone the samaritans

And therefore she should be making sure the child’s main carer is ok and coping - it directly affects him

If I have a breakdown surely that effects ds? I don't know what purpose the SW serves. They ask me how I'm coping in the CIN meetings. I'm not coping.

But that is not how the system works unfortunately, and she likely does not have the resources or time to do so.

is that correct? No. But it’s the harsh reality. She has made it clear she is there for the child not the parent, the OP has many other options for support to her, GP, school, charities, local support and national support agencies to name a few.

i’m afraid it doesn’t work like that

Sorry to hear this, what would help you?

Social workers have limited options available to them, is it support for you? Dd? Ds? All? And what would that look like?

do you have a social worker involved with your family because of your parenting needing professional oversight and support in order to protect the children involved?

or

is she your son’s disability social worker, advocating for him to ensure he receives adjustments and external care appropriate to his needs?

I did say I'm my OP it's his SW. But they didn't, for example come to his annual review as I have to inform them. They don't communicate with his school. I have to micro manage that, was busy and didn't think to past that info on. So it does impact on DS. I told ds's school that I was a overwhelming time so they thankfully said to leave it with them.

She can however talk direct to his school when ever she wants to. So I presume she will and then ask to be invited to the next annual review if she wants to. I forwarded the invite on to the last SW. Couldn't think straight this time

100% this.

Social worker seems to be quite specifically for one child & for the purpose of assisting with his complex needs.

OP needs a personal support system and that is not the role of this particular worker.

But that sounds like the schools not engaging with her either? Surely it's on them to invite her?

Children with disabilities team (cwdt) have always been very frank they are only involved for ds. But if shit hits the fan with another sibling it effects me and therefore ability to cope with ds.

in your own words… they have been clear

So what do I say on Thursday when they ask me how I'm coping and how my health is? They have requested my medical records before to check a medical condition. I don't get why they ask for this?

She's a social worker for your children. Not a private psychoanalyst for you.

I'm sorry you feel so bad. If you're having a breakdown you need to present at your nearest medical centre.

That's true I'd never thought of it like that. It's a bit like if I speak to the nurse about my child and then say oh and my depressions got bad, they'll make another appointment

Could you ask them what they'll do with that information?

Goodness, these replies. Yes, the social worker is not the OP’s support network. I work at a senior level in mental health. That reply was very cold and odd. All she had to say was that she was sorry that the OP was feeling so overwhelmed and to encourage her to seek support. To ignore the comment and say see you next Thursday is an unkind reply from anyone.

And yes of course a social worker should be worried about a mother’s mental health and the impact on the children. That is why in perinatal mental health teams, social services get involved when there are serious concerns about the parents’ mental health.

I am sorry you are drowning with stress OP. Look for support for yourself in your area x

You dont have to provide them but then theymay not be able to help.
Your choice.

Assessments are conducted using their knowledge and skills based on current criteria along with the info they require and in this case they want to verify what you are saying.

Actually I think it is cold. Although this social worker is particularly for your son, they surely have at least a basic signpost they could give i.e. she could have replied 'if you need mental health support then your GP is the best place to support you, I'm not able to help with that. I'll be round to see DS on Thursday.' Or some such similar. Not just completely ignore.

I have no relevant knowledge or experience here at all and I can see that the SW needs to have firm boundaries but there’s just no need to be this blunt.

All she had to do was say “I’m sorry you are struggling, it’s outside my remit to help but have you tried x?”

Op, can you go to a medial centre or call your out of hours gp.

im afraid you do need to go to thr right service provider. The social worker is for your son and his needs. They cannot support you also. Please call your doctor and get help,

If I am looking after a seriously unwell patient with schizophrenia and the mum says to me that they are really struggling, it would be so odd for me not to respond to that comment. I would at the very minimum express sympathy for the stress they are under. I might then suggest a carer’s assessment or ask colleagues for how the mum can be supported.

It is not my specific area but child mental health uses a systemic approach where every aspect of the child’s life needs to be considered. And yes that includes the health of other family members. You cannot view a child as an independent unit, separate to their family.

I think the SW must have burnout, be under too much pressure or have lost compassion along the way.

I did not work directly in MH but I did work with them

Like any carer, if there is a risk that the carer may not mange, etc, it is up to the allocated staff member to try and ensure the care network does not break down and if it does, they should have a plan of action. The priority is to support the acarer to avoid a break down of care. That needs an assessment and health eposes etc need to be backed up by medical info.

It may have changed as I left work years ago, early ret at just over 50, but it was like that where I worked

In relation to the other children, not me. They don't care if the other kids are out of school. I don't think they would even blink if the siblings need child protection. They didn't get involved in his sibling being out of school for four years. He was irrelevant. Never really thought until this post that extends to me.

But if that extends to me what would happen if I was dead? Maybe I didn't figure at all. Seems not