To be sad that someone can’t be themselves?

[ImpeckableChicken]

Didn’t know which topic to put this in so I do apologise!

A close relative recently confided in me that he likes to dress up in ladies clothes. He is pensioner age, married 40+ years, 1 adult daughter and grandchild.

His wife found out years ago and told him to pack it in and threatened to tell their daughter.

He still does it in secret, and has said if he were younger he would consider transitioning.

He has terrible mental health issues and it’s made me wonder if it’s because he’s never been able to be himself?

I’m a problem solver and a part of me wants to say to him ‘Fk them all! Be yourself!!’

BUT

It would be chaos. He fears his family would disown him, wife would leave and god knows how his daughter will feel.

It’s hard to watch and not do anything. Anyone been in a similar position?

Yes. We are lucky to feel at ease in our own skin. Your friend doesn't feel at ease either because he can't indulge his fetish or because of his mental illnesses. Either way, he doesn't feel like a woman.

They may have been in their thirties when all the attitudes towards homosexuality changed. Doesn’t mean they followed the trend.

If their parents were strict or uptight then they wouldn’t have felt as comfortable coming out. Hence the whole ‘old fashioned’ shit. Nice that some of your parents (or grandparents) embraced hippy culture or the whole 80’s thing. But not everyone did.

And good god people 🤯 I apologise for using the wrong terms etc. Yea I guess ‘feeling like a man/woman’ isn’t a thing. What I meant was not feeling right in your own body. Feeling like you need to change who you are.

And the point of the thread was just to see if anyone had been in a similar situation. The older I get the more people seem unhappy in their lives but are just sticking with it cus that’s what they ‘should’ do. People not happy in their relationships. Staying together for the kids. People wanting to change themselves.

And then they lie on their deathbed telling the younger generation to live life to the fullest, do what makes them happy, no regrets. But no one ever does